Pre-Marital Sex and Malaysian Culture
is getting lengthy by pagination. Part One has been closed,
but the archive can be viewed here:
http://www.usj.com.my/bulletin/uploa...&threadid=4138
You may like continue the discussion on this thread "Pre-Marital
Sex and Malaysian Culture. Part II", thereafter.
Jeff Ooi
Administrator.
Banned
inertia....
sorry i failed to address your post in the previous thread.
abandoning babies is not a major concern where pre-marital sex is an issue, because a lot of married mother's do it - forced by their husbands by cultures that subjugate women. in india for instance, it is the mother's "duty" to suffocate the baby if it turns out to be a girl. or they just leave the girl by the ditch. it's the same story in china, though these days a lot of couples opt for abortions instead.
how do you stop it from happening? sex with responsibility. marriage does not solve these problems. two people can get married but they can have no brains and heart. and with the rate of divorce these days, marriage is merely a social contract for the benefit of people to see. the commitment between two people need not be for public display.... it can come from within and mean a lot more than two people who've tied a not at the sheraton (or any such hotel)
///ej
Budiman
Jsu - Is there a need to delete your earlier proclaimation? No. They have been posted for all the read and you have done what you set out to do. To delete them now? And make me into the Devil's Advocate? Na....
Cool Hand Luke
Banned
According to the Durex Survey on Pre-Marital Sex (2002): Asia
Malaysian appear to have the most pre-marital sex at 132 times a year, with the Singaporeans close behind at 96 times a year, the Thai at 121, and the Indonesia at 115.
The countries with the lowest frequency of sex after marriage are Japan (37 times per), Malaysia (62) and China (69).
Couples living together report having sex 186 times per year. (Pre-marital sex)
Married couples make love 98 times per year.
Single folks are having sex the least at 49 times a year.
57% say they have sex at least once per week.
"People around the world would rather go out with their friends than have sex. More than a fifth (22%) choose their peers rather than having sex with a partner (19%), while a further 10% prefer to either play sport or go shopping."
Disagree with justification.Originally posted by empress_julz
inertia....
two people can get married but they can have no brains and heart. and with the rate of divorce these days, marriage is merely a social contract for the benefit of people to see. the commitment between two people need not be for public display.... it can come from within and mean a lot more than two people who've tied a knot at the sheraton (or any such hotel)
A marital relationship involves a commitment and sharing of material resources as well as a moral commitment to maintain the relationship. Its more than a piece of paper. Marriage is the legal union of two people.
Are you saying cohabitation is the preferred lifestyle compared to marriage
SETIAKawan
CHL
Worry not. You are well respected here. You have never been less than civil and I hope that I have been too. Me, I take things easy, perhaps more so than even you.
Budiman
Have fun, guys, I am out of this thread. Do you all get this distinct feeling that we are all puppets dancing to the tune and hand movements of a puppeteer here who has so cleverly led us on? Think about it. I do and that is why I am out of here.
Jsu - Worry? Respect? Do you for a moment think that when a man reaches my age, he worries about whether people respect him or not in an online forum? I am only concerned about people's opinions of me if they mean a lot to me in my real life. True, there are a few people in this forum who mean something to me in my real life. I think you know who you are - I have pm you and sought for your advices now and then!
Last edited by Cool Hand Luke; 07-12-2003 at 10:02 PM.
Cool Hand Luke
Banned
yeah i think i am too. i think the point is clear:
1. any kind of sex comes with responsibility
2. getting married just to have sex is irresponsible
3. whatever one decides, it is personal and up to them...
we can debate about this to no end but i agree with CHL, it can't be anything constructive since whatever choices one wants to make are personal and confined to the individual.... puppets or muppets aside...
///ej
Budiman
Is having pre-marital sex something horid and despicable? Not at all.
Is having pre-marital sex means you are unclean? Not at all.
So, what is the problem? Value? Over jealous personal value? or simply male chauvinistic "my bride is a virgin" sort of mentality?
Pre-marital sex or marital sex, there are all the same. It is our biological need once you reach reproductive age. As long as both individuals are grown up and EDUCATED enough to be fully aware of their responsibilities towards each other, so be it. Nothing wrong. Nothing holy or unholy about it. Have safe sex and life goes on.
Just think about what would happen to our society if sex is made to appear like some kind of a taboo? A completely sex-close society where an exposed female bare foot can turn a crowd voilent!
May be people like me will have to wear a purdah.
Last edited by uchangeng; 07-12-2003 at 02:42 PM.
Budiman
Finally i am able to get online and catch up on a few things here. Suffering with a Pen2 laptop here since all my stuff are in a container waiting to get to M'sia. Pre-marital sex seems interesting enough to start the day with.
Sex education should be inroduced, but i guess it will take a while b4 it really goes into effect. When i was in my teens in the 80's , my science teacher went thru the human reproduction subject in less than an hour, reading entirely out of the book, word for word. The topic was never mentioned again after that. I dont think she was comfortable about it at all.
What the hell did i know about sex then? Nothing!
I do wish there was sex edu at school or something at the time. I wouldnt hv gotten into it kinda blindly. Now i dont even know how to talk to my kid about sex esp since my son has just entered his teens.
Back to the topic on pre-marital sex, i dont think it is always a good idea, but then again, it is an individual choice. I do know of people who had 1st time sex after they got married, and they would say to you it was a mistake. One particular friend complains her hubby is so lousy in bed and nothing she tries can make it better. Another complains his wife is lousy. Another wife says her hubby expects her to behave like a slut in bed which she hates. If they had known it was going to be that way b4 they got married, they probably wouldnt hv gotten married in the 1st place. Of course, not everyone is like that. Some couples hv long marriages even though they hate the sex part. Some just tolerate it, some avoid it altogether, some just keep trying, and some bitch about it out of frustration.
However, like CHL , EJ and a few others hv said.. it is a responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly. Young (and even older) people tend to be reckless when it comes to sex, thinking 'it won't happen to me'. I hv been known to be reckless before and during marriage ( with my hubby that is). I can't say i am saintly in any way. Abortions do happen to married people too. Not just teens or the unmarried.
How far can one push their luck? If you HAVE to do it, be safe, and be happyand do it with a clear mind. Regrets arent the best feelings to carry thru life.
CHL, your views hv almost ( i say 'almost' as i might hv missed out on a few postings?
There! I said it. now i can hv a nap. Moving house can be really tiring.
Insecurity is unattractive. Smile and the whole world smiles with you.
Banned
hmm ...i have never attended safe sex module, can i someone tell me what is the best safe sex protection ?
I am just a kid.
Banned
?
Banned
the guy asked for proper advice and this is the best you men can give?
///ej
Budiman
Guys (that excludes EJ) - If that is not penile fixation, I do not know what is. A bit tasteless and offensive to ladies in the forum. Or perhaps I am too sensitive and senile in my old age?
Cool Hand Luke
Banned
not at all.
"tasteless" is accurate.
you are right.... it is offensive to women, and men too.
///ej
SETIAKawan
We're just mucking around
Seriously, abstinence is the safest.
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