Teenager growing up

[bslee]

Maybe start with something a little lesser..then give out additional on a need to basis.
Unless you're feel easy giving out any amount deemed justified..then do so...no need to calculate so much..they are needing money to cover legit expenses anyhow!
Maybe ask them to jot down every sen they spend with receipts if possible for a month..just like set of accounts for your info..then you decide whats best lah!

[husky]

Wah! 600?..I'm somewhat living out with that amount for 30 days. Phone, food, minimal utility bills, helped by avoiding fine dining, expensive fast food, and unreasonably priced eateries, cook home most of the time.

Eating outside is expensive. And they need to eat, at least lunch. Dinner at home.

5 times a week plus petrol from USJ to Taylors, is RM600 enough?

[husky]

Maybe start with something a little lesser..then give out additional on a need to basis.
Unless you're feel easy giving out any amount deemed justified..then do so...no need to calculate so much..they are needing money to cover legit expenses anyhow!
Maybe ask them to jot down every sen they spend with receipts if possible for a month..just like set of accounts for your info..then you decide whats best lah!

Yes, thank you!

Will get them to justify.

[bslee]

Bring food from home is a practical solution..only if you have the will and resolve to resort to this kind of approach. My DIL works in KLCC or Menara something there..she bring food from home most of the time...just another wise way of managing own finances for rising COL AND TO BUY A HOME for themselves later on...AT RIDICULOUS PRICES EVERYBODY knows. I came from an ok ok family when schooling, my mom INSISTED I bring food to school for recess meal. Reasons are all the obvious. YES!..my parents could afford giving me 50sen,...but make me learn things the hard way. I didn't do exactly the same thing for my 2 sons.. wasn't so rigid!..

[Allswell]

They both drive to uni. So I have to factor in petrol as well. Now, both of them are grumbling and asking for an increment because of the recent petrol hike and the expensive food at Taylors.

Any one with kids at uni that drives. How much do you give a month?

If you stay nearby - patrol is RM 10 a day = RM 200 a months , they can eat at Asia cafe, 8 bucks a meal, still cheep compared to Starbuck. food + patrol = RM360 for weekdays, they still have RM240 for the weekends. RM 600 is good - my opinion.
They just have to be thrifty, can't act cool like other kids and cannot send their girl friends back to Port Klang every day.

[bslee]

I eat at Asia Cafe..got great deals there at RM6.50 (healthy or not is another story!)..WITHOUT ordering some silly drinks at over inflated coffeehouse kinda pricing!.. PLAIN WATER is best..guess you easily know where to find that for free..and SAVE a couple of bucks..
WATER IS LIFE...not kopi o, teh ais, fresh(packet) orange..fizzy u know what...etc! Girlfriend?...ahhh..that one, expenses can go outta control one...!
The whole point is that people like myself have to find numerous workarounds to withstand rising COL...thats all..I'm NOT stingy but forced to under current circumstances I'm in. Just happen that my son and DIL are having to go through similar cycle like numerous others out there. Just have to lah..not everyone is very well to do and easy to fork out anything the heart may desire. People need car...WHY? for one...lousy public transport system for decades..or slow wait to something better. Cars ownership is so taxing and expensive, fuel up..insurance up! medic fees up! chicken meat up!, butter is a luxury! ikan bilis and dried seafood isn't poor man's food anymore....everything up lah!..

[husky]

No Asia Cafe at Lakeside Campus but I am sure there is a food court there. They just have to make do with RM600 for now until they can justify the increment.

Thank you. Problem solved.

[bslee]

Thank you. Problem solved.

Thats great!... hope for the best and good luck to you! Hope there was sufficient pointers or advice to strengthen your confidence in giving out RM600.
Ending on this note..I do stare like a tiger at my boys if ever they express or hint about changing to a new model phone or whatever... I KNOW they can afford it..but I have my reasoning to their best interest and sanity!

[husky]

Haha They would not be too happy with Uncle Lee and Mr / Ms Allswell.

[bslee]

Haha They would not be too happy with Uncle Lee and Mr / Ms Allswell.

Maybe they will realise IF the situation were reversed..by THEY having to fork out that money. Only time will tell!

[Allswell]

Haha They would not be too happy with Uncle Lee and Mr / Ms Allswell.

Ha Ha, They should be happy they have a generous parent. They would otherwise get 10 bucks a day and need to take bus.

[SiangMalam]

They both drive to uni. So I have to factor in petrol as well. Now, both of them are grumbling and asking for an increment because of the recent petrol hike and the expensive food at Taylors.

Any one with kids at uni that drives. How much do you give a month?

Why send your children to unis when they already can drive their own cars... play Candy Crush at home better still...

[husky]

Why send your children to unis when they already can drive their own cars... play Candy Crush at home better still...

Sorry, a liitle bit slow. Do you mean that I am spoiling them by getting them cars. We are just a middle class family and cars are no longer a luxury item. It is a necessity. Where I stay, there isn't public transportation.

Incidentally, my daughter does like Candy Crush.

[akiyoshi]

I often have concern on the amount of time teens spent interacting with computers, computer games, virtual world than with real people.

I have boys in mid-teens and late teens.
On activities:-
I think problems arise when they can't find enough things to occupy themselves, esp boys ( assuming books are not a favourite pastime.)
I sent them to competitive swimming training to "tire them out" and to instil some form of discipline (let someone do it), and at the same time build a nice physique !
It was helpful. And in fact, after taking about 2 years break, one kid even requested to be sent back to training 5 days a week for 2 hours daily.

I expose them to music, source for a male teacher to "connect" and inspire. Now they jam with friends, and have music to turn to.

I also got a dog primarily for security reasons but the boys loved him to bits .. another distraction from techno-fun.

On Computing Time
We impose Parental Control feature that limits computer access time to 2 hours a day. Even that, I still think too much. And sometimes they are smart enough to hack ! So, trust is important.

On Smart Phones / Laptop
A nono. Only in college one gets a laptop. Other times, just share the desktop.

On Pocket-Money
Kids bring food from home. On days they prefer to buy food, then pocket money is
enough to cover meals. College boy gets 10/day.

On Manners / Talk-back / Respect for elders
This is tough. Esp age of 12 - 16 years. The age where they think they are right most of the time. But I observed that from 17, they tend to mature and mellow down... so I just ride out the phase and just keep reminding them whenever it gets too far.

On Studies
My philosophy to them is they take ownership for their own studies. They bear the consequences. If studies do not work out, just go and get a job.

The most heartbreaking in parenting teens is when they appear to have total disrespect for their parents. But I guess if we show respect when talking to them and reasoning with them, they too will become reasonable. Communication is important and dinner-time is our family common time.
As parents, we need to show genuine interest in their daily happenings.

An occasional argument is OK as long as one learns how to deal with it the next time. Happy parenting !!

[bslee]

I often have concern on the amount of time teens spent interacting with computers, computer games, virtual world than with real people.
On Manners / Talk-back / Respect for elders
This is tough. Esp age of 12 - 16 years. The age where they think they are right most of the time. But I observed that from 17, they tend to mature and mellow down... so I just ride out the phase and just keep reminding them whenever it gets too far.

I think this is the toughest to address or shape them to best ideals or expectation due to how they were brought up, and the friends or circle they mingle with, meaning external influences and the environment they're in.
Just like comparison of some teen examples at rural and urban place, the state of family wealth, single parenting or otherwise, and numerous other factors of religion, race, culture, etc that all have some bearing to shaping the character of child to adulthood. All are with various degrees of differences and the timing. When I say timing its say some youth in 1980's era and current 21st century era in the age of IT and sorts.. Very subjective and challenging even most stressful! There's is no clear or ultimate solution. It just pose as the greatest challenge among others, IMHO!