Brother In Law not attending his grandparent funeral... - Page 2
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Thread: Brother In Law not attending his grandparent funeral...

  1. #16
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    Yup its the people who give religions a bad name, nothing to do with the religion itself. If you think you do not want to carry a joss stick because your own religion prohibits it, then there is nothing to stop you from just standing there to give your last respects. Just because the ceremonies are conducted in the buddhist/taoist or whatever way it does not mean that you cannot give your respects to the dead person. I personally do not subscribe to any religions and it does not stop me from lighting a joss stick or even following through the taoist ceremony ( I had a recent bereavement). The taoist priest ask us to kneel, I kneel. Asked us to bow I bow. No issues.

  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Challenger View Post
    Aursong, ask your BIL to read the bible in its entirety. Don't choose and pick the parts he likes, read it like I did, in its entirety, all of it Old and New Testaments. Also, ask him to read about relationship between Christianity with Zoroastrianism (ancient religion from a region now known as Iran). And if after he did that and still believe what he currently believes, you should leave him alone.
    Like I said previously... I'm staying out of it...

    People believe what they choose to believe...

  3. #18
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    Actually they should be left alone for them to ponder and think over their own actions.

  4. #19
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    If a person refuses to give the last respect to ancestor for whatever reason, especially religious reason.. I think just give up of this fella..

    Animals are better than this "religious" fella..

  5. #20
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    Anyone can choose to believe what he/she wants..no problem in so called "civilized world" today. The trouble starts when somebody's own decision or action may hurt or anger the feelings and emotions of others because its seen as defying common logic today. Moreover if there's some self admission that its forbidden or avoidance due to own faith.

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhiga View Post
    If a person refuses to give the last respect to ancestor for whatever reason, especially religious reason.. I think just give up of this fella..

    Animals are better than this "religious" fella..
    I heard about it but never seen\experinece it...

    This is the first time someone I know refuse to attend the funeral of his ancestor because of different religious believe...

    Just imagine that's your children or siblings... what would you have done...

    Would leave it to my In-Laws to decide...

  7. #22
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    What Christian teachings say you cannot attend the funeral of a close relative of another religion. So scared of God's punishment is it?
    Mastering modern technology is easy; even a Neanderthal can do it... Besitai 2012

  8. #23
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    for my understanding,

    catholics are ok, they still pray to their ancestor or holding joss stick.

    the problem is the protestant, their are stricter than catholics which they do not hold joss stick. they differentiate themselves as christians and catholics as catholics.

    We have to look back to history that protestant branch out from catholics because they do not want to worship mother Mary and hence the name "protest"ant. They only worship to Jesus himself.

    Well, the above theory is based on my observation and interaction with people around me.
    Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates

  9. #24
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    Once we talk about religion, people get very testy about it especially if they feel that their religion has been misconstrued by others, especially those who are not of their own faith. If they can live with themselves I suppose that its ok.

  10. #25
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    to each his/her own lah...

    Respect is earned and shalt not be forced upon.

    so respectfully, i submit: maybe to some of those attended this particular wake service, the deceased was only worth 5mins of 'respect' lah?

    Every family can do what they wanna do and if the family has more or less or zero 'respect' for each other dead or alive, it is sure as daylite (scarce nowadays) ain't the fault of God/Allah/KwanYTin/Buddha/Siva/Bai/Mighty Nibokanizer/Zeus....

    I have been to temple (taoist, buddhist, even tibetan), mosque, church (many dominations too), synagogue, graveyard, columbrium. crematorium, roadside, riverside, seaside...Heck! even morgue to pay respect...

    and Lo & behold! at each place the grieve and sense of loss are the same... ...and the deceased respectfully couldn't care less either

    Yang Berhormat ToonIstimewaUtamaXlatotupai

    p/s OK, you got me! I fibbed ...but only about the tibetan temple...
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  11. #26
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    Again I say..its probably alright if one or 2 people's actions seem extraordinary or perplexing..but when come some blardi group doing the same or similar things that'll affect a lot of people's lives or livelyhood..angry or not?

  12. #27
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    If (ever) the siblings were to attend his own wake it would be real trash and evil (no empathy and only put-downs on non-believers) from the protestant-pastor.

    In a protestant-wake (personal experience) the pastor will tell those in attendance (could not careless whether there are non-Christians amongst the siblings and near relatives) not to grief as the deceased is now in heaven sitting with God.
    "not to grief" what kind of insensitivity is that? 'Grief' is a very natural process and will happen to the nearest and closest relatives and one has go along with it and let it wear off in time. This inherent grieving program is inherited from our ancient ancestors during the tribal days from hundreds of thousand of years ago.

    Then the pastor will tell everyone, those who are Christians (naming the spouse, sons, daughters) will be able to meet the deceased when it is their turn. For non-Christians, his implication is sorry-lah, they will not be able to meet the deceased at all. Only Christians can meet the deceased in heaven.

    Whilst all the non-Christian siblings and close relatives will be in a state of grief and are naturally stressed, the pastor will take the opportunity to blah his proselytizing speech and put-downs on non-Christians.

    The pastor ended his preaching with asking non-Christians relatives to see him if they have any needs (presumably he can convert them if they want to meet the deceased in the thereafter).

    Personally, I think the above type of preaching and put-downs during a funeral wake is sickening. I heard from many that similar practices are done in most protestant-wakes.

    I wonder where can non-Christians complain to ensure such sort of preaching should not be done when siblings, parent, and other close relatives are non-Christians. Non-Christians can choose not to attend protestant-wakes, but has to attend if deceased is a sibling or close relative.

  13. #28
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    My In-Laws are staunch taoism believers... one that pray to their dieties daily without fail... don't leave their house for overnight holiday cause they affraid the dieties have nothing to eat kind of believer...

    They given their son full courtesy by attended to his church marriage and listening to the pastor whole hour speech... (I switched off to deaf mode... so unware what the pastor is preeching during the ceremony... not like JustMe who actually listen )

    Allowed the pastor to gave speech in the son's wedding even though my In-Laws should be the main-host... pastor ask all to stand-up and pray... moment of silence... preach how good is their God... etc etc... (the sticks my In-Laws got from the majority of also Taoism relatives)

    Have no idea how my B-I-L decided to have a join wedding for Broom&Bride when both side don't see eye to eye...

    To have their son then decided not to attend the grand-parent funeral...

    Maybe like Rhiga said... should just GIVE-UP already...

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justme123 View Post
    If (ever) the siblings were to attend his own wake it would be real trash and evil (no empathy and only put-downs on non-believers) from the protestant-pastor.

    In a protestant-wake (personal experience) the pastor will tell those in attendance (could not careless whether there are non-Christians amongst the siblings and near relatives) not to grief as the deceased is now in heaven sitting with God.
    "not to grief" what kind of insensitivity is that? 'Grief' is a very natural process and will happen to the nearest and closest relatives and one has go along with it and let it wear off in time. This inherent grieving program is inherited from our ancient ancestors during the tribal days from hundreds of thousand of years ago.

    Then the pastor will tell everyone, those who are Christians (naming the spouse, sons, daughters) will be able to meet the deceased when it is their turn. For non-Christians, his implication is sorry-lah, they will not be able to meet the deceased at all. Only Christians can meet the deceased in heaven.

    Whilst all the non-Christian siblings and close relatives will be in a state of grief and are naturally stressed, the pastor will take the opportunity to blah his proselytizing speech and put-downs on non-Christians.

    The pastor ended his preaching with asking non-Christians relatives to see him if they have any needs (presumably he can convert them if they want to meet the deceased in the thereafter).

    Personally, I think the above type of preaching and put-downs during a funeral wake is sickening. I heard from many that similar practices are done in most protestant-wakes.

    I wonder where can non-Christians complain to ensure such sort of preaching should not be done when siblings, parent, and other close relatives are non-Christians. Non-Christians can choose not to attend protestant-wakes, but has to attend if deceased is a sibling or close relative.
    I heard such things before, but have not experienced it before..

    I will share with you my response when there is such human being say such things in front of me in a funeral…

  15. #30
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    Those who like to "protest"....

    Why not protest to your parents when you were a 1 year old infant, told them you are able to find milk yourself, go away both of you who idol worship..

    Why not protest to your parents who took care of you when you were a 2 years old toddler , told both of them they can go to hexx, you have your “protestoon” friends who will help you…

    Why not told you parents who gave you money to go to school when you were a 6 years old kid, told them both of you should be ashamed of yourself holding joss stick, you have your “protestoon” house for shelter and studies..

    The list can go on and on…

    You will meet a bigger "protest" in future, normally at the time you are old, ill and helpless...

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