Parenting skills support group

[birdy]

Dear Forumers (esp parents of schoolchildren),

I am proposing that we have a cyber support group for parents (new and veterans) on matters and issues relating to our children's. Let us share tips on how to be a good parent. Let the veteran show the young parent a good parenting skills.

I hope that this thread can serve as an informal focal point and reference; hopefully constructive and benefical to all. Sharing of information and experiences will be key to its success.

This thread is not meant to share info, raise issues, Q&A and other matters of concern to us as parents.

Thank you for your kind attention and contributions.

[birdy]

To get the ball rolling ... let me seek an advise from whoever willing to share :-

Recently, when I went to spot check my daughter whether she take the catered food in school canteen, was surprised that she did not turn up to eat! Immediately after the recess time, I went in to check with the canteen operator, only been told that my daughter has not come to eat for 2 days (lucky that I discovered it early). The canteen operator told me there is one student never turn up in the canteen since Day 1, and only turn up today for the first time after being caught by the parent.

When I check on my daugther, I also discovered that my daugther's friend did not turn up to eat as well! I then inform her mother about this. This was to her surprised as she was told by her son that she had taken fried beehoon that afternoon. I told the mother that I really saw the food and drink untouched and that day, the catered food was not fried beehoon!

Luckily, my daughter did not lie to me. When asked, she tried to avoid answering this question initially but when insist on the answer, she said don't know. Then she admitted that she did not go to the canteen that day. I asked her why and she explain the reason, which I accepted for the benefit of doubt. I told her that I will spot check in the school regularly.

My question is how do you detect your children if he or she is lying to you (just like the case of my daughter's friend)? The mother will never know the truth if I wasn't there on that day. How should we correctly teach our children without having to spank them if they are caught lying?

[QuietStorm]

Sit the child down...talk to him/her in a nice and gentle way. if you do this often enough, they will eventually understand that lying not a good thing. So far, it has worked for me. Also, it's important for your child NOT to catch you lying! If they catch you telling lies every now and then, they will think it's ok for them to do it, too.

[birdy]

Sit the child down...talk to him/her in a nice and gentle way. if you do this often enough, they will eventually understand that lying not a good thing. So far, it has worked for me.

How do you talk to him/her... do you brainwash them by telling them that lying is no good, the god can see and record down... lol I know my parent used that on me when I was young...

[QuietStorm]

How do you talk to him/her... do you brainwash them by telling them that lying is no good, the god can see and record down... lol I know my parent used that on me when I was young...

Haha...I'm not that dramatic and besides, that is a lie !! . I just tell them straight in the face that lying is bad and that they shouldn't do it. So far so good ... .

[birdy]

Haha...I'm not that dramatic and besides, that is a lie !! . I just tell them straight in the face that lying is bad and that they shouldn't do it. So far so good ... .

Considering not all kids will have such great understanding, how would you convince them that lying is bad?

[Naka]

Considering not all kids will have such great understanding, how would you convince them that lying is bad?

Maybe you have to find a true story which shows that lying can have a bad ending.

[QuietStorm]

Maybe you have to find a true story which shows that lying can have a bad ending.

Yes, that may well work. Do you have any stories in mind, Naka?

[Naka]

Yes, that may well work. Do you have any stories in mind, Naka?

Easy, check with Mr Google.

[currymee]

I am more DIRECT about lying - I told my son, if I ever catch him lying - I will beat the crap out of him and throw him out of the house !! So, if he owns up to the error early and fast, he will get a scolding, no walloping and thrown out of house ....

[birdy]

I am more DIRECT about lying - I told my son, if I ever catch him lying - I will beat the crap out of him and throw him out of the house !! So, if he owns up to the error early and fast, he will get a scolding, no walloping and thrown out of house ....

But will you do it if you ever catch him lying? If you don't do what you said, they will soon realize that you are lying too!

[currymee]

But will you do it if you ever catch him lying? If you don't do what you said, they will soon realize that you are lying too!

He already kena before .... Left him standing at the porch, crying his head off for about 30 minutes before allowing him to come back in ....

[Naka]

He already kena before .... Left him standing at the porch, crying his head off for about 30 minutes before allowing him to come back in ....

What happen if she is a girl?

[currymee]

One thing my son has learned is that when I told him to stop something and I said I count to 3 or 10, he better stop by then or else .... so he gets a 3 or 10 count warning .... He knows better by now than to challenge the countdown warning ... although I give him all the explanations and reasons first.

[currymee]

What happen if she is a girl?

Same rule applies even to my nieces .... this uncle when pissed, don't play-play !!!