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Thread: Caring for old age parents

  1. #1
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    Caring for old age parents

    I am writing this to let everbody know what I have gone through. My mum passed away at the age of 51 and my dad lives with me until the age of 82. both passed away peacefully.When my dad was alive and staying with me I was blessed with a steady job and unlimited support from my 4 sissters, who unselfishly help to food his medical bills , average 5k amonth in his final year.
    For that I thank God for the generosity given by my sisters and the very strong family ties foundation given by my late mum and dad.

    Today, I am helping my wifey 's parents age 89 and 91 respectively. They are frail and constantly being critised by my bro-in-law. My wifey's parents work hard during the younger days and bought each male sibling a house and car. Today, they are old and hardly walk and my bro-in-law who is staying with him keeping complaning of their parents disabilities. Sometimes I will go to their house on weekend to cook and eat with them. I can see their happiness from their body language. Other times, I will bring them out , but my bro-in-law insist that it is too troublesome to carry them in and out of car. But I insisted and volunteered, It is so sad to see my wifey's parents who raise 10 children and provide houses for them and to face this ending stage. Thank God, I am still able to care and I hope everyone be kind to your parents.Don't shout and critise them. They can hear but only reply in hidden tears because they still care.
    Last edited by Chia Hak Soon; 06-04-2009 at 11:24 AM.

  2. #2
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    God bless you. We can all learn from this...
    You shall know the truth , and the truth shall set you free

  3. #3
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    i don't know if it is a real saying but some body has told me of a proverb translated from chinese saying a parent can raise 10 children but it is hard for 10 children to take care of the parents or something to that effect...
    Lain kalilah

  4. #4
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    yup... EricLK... what you say is true. Our parents go through so many hurdles just to raise us up and in the end we take them for granted. is like they owe the world to us.

    we have to care for our parents when they are old. Remember when we are a baby, they clean our poo. If they can go through all those dirt and why we do back the samething.

    There is a chinese saying also, you scold or neglect your parents, the thunder will come after you...

    do some google search on petronas ad, you will see what is the meaning of love to your parents...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chia Hak Soon
    Today, I am helping my wifey 's parents age 89 and 91 respectively. They are frail and constantly being critised by my bro-in-law..
    is your wifey parents staying with you or with them... ???

    if they are staying with you... then you have every right to ask.. no, TELL your brother in law to SHADDUP...

    if they are staying with your brother-in-law... then sorry bro... cannot comment on your BIL's conduct...

    just one thing thou, just make sure wifey don't see your posting here - she might get the wrong impression and think you washing 'dirty linen' in public..

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Today some may love and treat dogs & cats better than treating their parents. Even if some wealthy children support their parents well financially, they may not have the respect and affection. In the opinion of Confucius, such act is no difference than rearing animals.

    In Singapore government have to set law to enforce the children to carry out their duty to take care of their parents. Is it not a sad and ironic truth behind a seemingly highly "civilized" society ?

    I learn that some moral philosophers in the West (e.g., Norman Daniels and Jane English) hold that adult children do not have any more moral obligation to support their elderly parents. Could it be the main reason that there is a lack of the Eastern cultural value of filial duty in today's education system ?

    Chia HS has demonstrated a responsible way to treat parents, both akin and in-law. I learn that some children fail to compromise with their wife or husband, their akin parents are neglected.

  7. #7
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    Sep 2008
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    there is a chinese saying which means "it is easy to be good acquaintance, but hard to stay together"

    from what i observe, if the husband's parents stay in, then the wife not happy, but if wife's parents stay in, then most of the time it's peace....haha

  8. #8
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    Bandar Bukit Puchong
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    I can empathise with that. My dad has just woken up from coma due to some bleeding in the brain. But he is going to immobile and he is partially paralysed. He is undergoing physio in a hospital to try to get hime to recover as much as possible. But we are taking him home soon. Do you guys know of any good and affordable physio in Puchong?
    Actually, what has happened to my dad has made me think a lot. We can't choose how we are going - it can be fast or it could be excruciatingly slow. And most insurance only cover you till the age of 70. And most chinese families have smaller number of children, not the big families during our parents' time.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by fabregas
    I can empathise with that. My dad has just woken up from coma due to some bleeding in the brain. But he is going to immobile and he is partially paralysed. He is undergoing physio in a hospital to try to get hime to recover as much as possible. But we are taking him home soon. Do you guys know of any good and affordable physio in Puchong?
    Actually, what has happened to my dad has made me think a lot. We can't choose how we are going - it can be fast or it could be excruciatingly slow. And most insurance only cover you till the age of 70. And most chinese families have smaller number of children, not the big families during our parents' time.
    had pm you already.... he is good... rm 35 per session..

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxima
    Today some may love and treat dogs & cats better than treating their parents.
    Too bad i know someone who does that. I don't feel comfortable when they brag about how beautiful & smart their dogs are....while seeing their parent are neglected.
    Live Happily & Leave Peacefully.
    (It doesn't come without a fight)
    *Sit & Protest - BERSIH 3.0*

  11. #11
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    Dec 2008
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    UEP Subang Jaya
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    I wonder when will it be my turn.
    No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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