Mid Life Crisis

[cherry]

One thing for sure my father is having one... I just wanted to know whether the period is going to be long and how to handle this situation :(

[idolfan]

:confused:

Many old men here would be scratching their heads.
would you be referring to male menopause or the reverse?

[cherry]

Maybe this will help..

a) Tired with the routine, trying new things like going to pubs or clubs
b) Finding out the market... whether they are still marketable with women the women outside
c) Going for facial, manicure & pedicure and chnaging their hair colors
d) Trying out VIAGRA (I hope my father would die trying this... just found out last week that he has it in his pocket)

etc...etc....

[Ski]

Hello Cherry

Leave your old man alone, we all live once, dont worry he will come to his senses soon when he tires out ;)

cheerz

[idolfan]

aiii.. dun lah hope he dies trying out viagra.

Family relationships are never simple as it might seem and there are always ups and downs. Both your parents would need their kids support when the seas get rough. It might be tuff to get them to seek professional counselling but it should be useful for the grownup chlldren to talk to a counsellor for advice.

[SunwayKid]

Maybe this will help..

a) Tired with the routine, trying new things like going to pubs or clubs
b) Finding out the market... whether they are still marketable with women the women outside
c) Going for facial, manicure & pedicure and chnaging their hair colors
d) Trying out VIAGRA (I hope my father would die trying this... just found out last week that he has it in his pocket)

etc...etc....

Cherry - I am just a kid but when you refer to mid life crisis, are you referring to 40+, 50+ or 60+, if you don't mind me asking.
a) normal
b) I have always been trying
c) all ah bengs do that now
d) now, this is very serious stuff

wow, not nice to say that about one's father. When the blood return back to his brain or the viagra work no more, he should be back to normal.

[uchangeng]

When one talks about mid-life crisis, it concerns a far more serious problem then this.

Extra-marital affairs.

Lossing hair and getting too overweight, belly grows like a blow fish.

Financial problems.

Wife leaving.

Out of a job.

Out of business.

Stuck in a job not getting a promotion since god knows when.

I am glad to be of any of the above. In fact, now that I am more settle, I start to enjoy life after so many years. Get to do things I enjoy; drinking Italian coffees(not the coffee bean ones), hi-fi, enjoy my wife company, talk to my boys, tell jokes, eating chese, play badmintan and one last thing, spending time writing here like a chief editor.

[PJS]

Maybe this will help..

a) Tired with the routine, trying new things like going to pubs or clubs
b) Finding out the market... whether they are still marketable with women the women outside
c) Going for facial, manicure & pedicure and chnaging their hair colors
d) Trying out VIAGRA (I hope my father would die trying this... just found out last week that he has it in his pocket)

etc...etc....

I sure hope my daughter doesn't wish for me to die if I may happen to do whatever wrong things in the future(touch wood). After all, as parents, we forgive and forget whatever mistakes the child made, and provide guidance, counselling, a supporting arm, be there as a friend, provide a shoulder for them to cry on, and try to make sure that he/she learn from the mistakes.

Can't u be a friend to your poor old dad to help set him straight? Maybe it is times like this that he will appreciate a caring, loving daughter? :)

[GreenBug]

Maybe this will help..

a) Tired with the routine, trying new things like going to pubs or clubs
b) Finding out the market... whether they are still marketable with women the women outside
c) Going for facial, manicure & pedicure and chnaging their hair colors
d) Trying out VIAGRA (I hope my father would die trying this... just found out last week that he has it in his pocket)

etc...etc....

What you mentioned are not traits of men in mid-life crisis but even those in their 30s, 40s and 50s.... :D

[USJ27Resident]

aiyo... another male bashing thread/session izzit... :p

[Joe Gomez]

cherry how old is your dad ?

[cherry]

cherry how old is your dad ?

He is 58. I do still love this old man but everytime I think of what he's doing now to the family disappoint me :(

[Firefly]

Is your mother still around?


BTW, yr PM box is full.

[orchipalar]

Err...Cherry:)...sorry should this sound discouraging to you...just telling what has been a part of Orchi's life...

As early as when Orchi was in primary school...Orchi's father already started to take on extra marital affairs...

Late Mom at the time...closed both eyes to everything that he did outside of the house...n pretended n acted as if she was even willing to give full support n blessing to him having the opportunity to take on a second wife...

Instead...Orchi n younger siblings...showed that we were not very pleased with what our father was doing from time to time on that matter...

Until such time...after long n many years down the road...we since came to realise...though we felt that what our father had been doing was wrong...unfair n unforgivable...he has always been there for us...irrespective of what happened...

Today...he is still with us...though living eventually with his second wife...from whom Orchi has got another youngest sister since(Orchi's own Mom took care of her since birth)... :o

[cherry]

Is your mother still around?


BTW, yr PM box is full.

Yes, mom is still around... was thinking of bringing her for travelling to make her forget about this thing and relax. I cleared my inbox already...

[lord]

Maybe this will help..

d) Trying out VIAGRA (I hope my father would die trying this... just found out last week that he has it in his pocket)



As I have not taken this stuff before, simply because I don't require it ;) , was just wondering if you could get some details on its effectiveness and how reliable is the product. Are there any side effects to look out for and at 58, is he maximizing it to the fullest.

On the other hand, should he be unsatisfied with its 'performance', I would like to propose he tries out another product in the market called 'Karmagra'. Samples can be arranged for first timers and potential huge orders.

And psst.... if you really want him to kick-the-bucket, just buy for him 'Karmagra'. You might get your wish come true....

[fjdemang]

Male mid-life crisis – fact or fiction?

Adapting to middle age can be difficult – it’s a time when many men are said to go through a “mid-life crisis”. But what is the male mid-life crisis and does it really exist?

What is the mid-life crisis?

Ex-GP Dr Hugh Bethell believes that there’s no such thing. “A mid-life crisis is really just what happens to people because of life events. Life starts to change, your kids grow up and leave home, you’re getting bored of work and think you should retire, and it all happens when you’re between 40 and 65.”

Peter Baker, Director of the Men’s Health Forum, is in agreement with Dr Bethell. He says, “I think you could argue that there are problems that men face in middle age. I don’t know if you’d want to call it a mid-life crisis, but middle-age is a time of adjustment for men.

“A lot of the issues are psychological rather than issues that need medical treatment,” he says. “I think we’re in danger of medicalising middle age for men and saying that, whatever problems they face, it’s all down to one cause: low testosterone. We’re giving men drugs in the hope that they will treat the condition when in fact it’s all part of the process of getting older.”

The idea that problems during middle age could be treated began when Dr Malcolm Carruthers, now director of the Andropause Society, put forward a theory that men suffer the male equivalent of the menopause, the andropause.

Is the andropause the male mid-life crisis?

Dr Carruthers believes the andropause is different from the male mid-life crisis. “The male mid-life crisis is a psychological, existential crisis that usually comes on between the ages of 35 and 45. Think American Beauty, the film. Whereas the male menopause is a darker picture that comes on at about 45 to 55…think Falling Down with Michael Douglas.”

According to Dr Carruthers, the andropause is triggered by a variety of factors which bring about a drop in testosterone, much like the drop in oestrogen in women during the menopause.

However, the drop in testosterone is not as straightforward as it seems. Dr Carruthers says, “It’s not necessarily a drop in total testosterone because only 2 per cent of the testosterone actually circulating in the blood is free and available. The rest is bound up with various proteins which tend to increase with age. So really it’s the symptoms you should go by rather than measurement of testosterone.”

He explains that although a drop in testosterone usually signals the start of the andropause, the best way to find out whether someone is really andropausal is to treat them and see whether the symptoms go away.

According to Dr Carruthers, “Often it’s the best means of confirming a diagnosis. If men do have the characteristic symptoms, then a course of testosterone either by mouth, or by injection, is the best way.”

However, both Peter Baker and Dr Bethell are sceptical about the existence of the andropause. Peter says, “It’s an incredibly controversial area. The clinical research isn’t actually there yet to enable us to say with any confidence at all whether this condition really exists.”

Dr Bethell counters, “There is some basis to what [Dr Carruthers] says, in that as they get older some men do have a reduced testosterone output which may have some general effects on their libido and good health. However, there is no male menopause in the way that women experience the menopause because there is no sudden change in hormone production as in the case of women when they’re about 50.”

Signs that middle-age has struck

But what are the symptoms? Peter Baker believes that the symptoms of mid-life that could bring on a crisis are, “When your body changes, your hair falls out, you might start putting on weight around your waist, your muscle mass tends to decrease, and you might start having problems with sexual functioning that aren’t related to testosterone but caused by other conditions like heart disease, or possibly diabetes, or years of smoking.”

In Dr Carruthers’ view the symptoms include “a lack of energy, a lack of drive, reduced sex drive, potency problems, increasing irritability, depression, and typically female symptoms, such as night sweats, occasionally hot flushes, and joint stiffness especially in the mornings.”

However, he believes that a course of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) can reverse all these symptoms.

Keeping the mid-life crisis at bay

According to Dr Carruthers, TRT, the male equivalent of HRT, can be administered orally, by injection, or through a gel which is absorbed into the skin.

Although he believes that TRT can treat the symptoms of the andropause, experts have raised concerns that it might be detrimental to health. Dr Bethell says, “If you’re having excess testosterone then it can make your hair fall out and it can probably increase the risk of prostate cancer. Some forms of testosterone taken by mouth can also give you liver disease.”

Dr Carruthers is dismissive of these concerns, “The whole subject of TRT is surrounded by a mass of myths, principally concerning the prostate, when in actual fact, it’s proved to be remarkably safe, providing that you pre-screen to make sure the patients don’t have prostate cancer.”

Although testosterone could be used to treat the symptoms of the andropause it may not alleviate the problems faced by men who are experiencing a more psychological element of mid-life crisis. For these men, Dr Bethell doesn’t rule out counselling.

He says, “It’s about individual choice. If they feel they need help to deal with how they are, then there’s no obvious physical abnormality to account for. In this instance yes, offer counselling and treatment for their depression.”

Who is affected by it?

Every woman will face the menopause, but does every man go through either a mid-life crisis or the andropause?

Dr Carruthers thinks not, “That’s the one difference. Not every man is going to go through the andropause, and I think this is probably because some men can retain their testosterone longer than others.”

Peter Baker shares this view. “You can’t categorically say that every man goes through a mid-life crisis. Some men don’t have problems adjusting to middle age, some do. This area just hasn’t been properly researched, that’s the problem.”

For those men who do find themselves going through either a mid-life crisis or the andropause, Dr Bethell advises, “I’d go and talk to a GP. It’s a very reasonable step. The doctor may wish to exclude testosterone deficiency, but the treatment options open to patients include living with it, just getting on with it, or maybe seeking counselling.

“However, I find that many people actually start improving when they hit middle age and their kids grow up and leave. They’ve got a bit more freedom, a bit more money. They’ve got more social and financial health at that time in their lives.”

From http://www.healthypages.net/news.asp?newsid=3609

Check this one about male menopause. Its amusing.
http://www.ag.ohio-state.edu/~midlife/men.htm

[cherry]

Thanks fjdemang,

That's really an eye opener... :)

Happens between 45-65, huh? So my father have another 7 years to go....

[Ski]

Mid Life crisis for man

It all depends on the Chemistry and love. If the wife is still attractive and voluptious and demanding and if she can arouse a giant from sleep even at the twilight years then there is no problem for the man..he will stay home for his nightcap. ;)

My views of course.

[mon]

Mid Life crisis for man

It all depends on the Chemistry and love. If the wife is still attractive and voluptious and demanding and if she can arouse a giant from sleep even at the twilight years then there is no problem for the man..he will stay home for his nightcap. ;)

My views of course.

hum..i wonder if love is still in de air, would the man still find his wife attractive and voluptious albeit she's a giant 70kg giant and still keep him awake from sleep at the twilight years?....with request for supper instead of ...?...

[Ski]

Hi Mon
i think you miss my point "Gaint" anyway i will leave as it is, you will figure it out later.

cheerz

[mon]

Hi Mon
i think you miss my point "Gaint" anyway i will leave as it is, you will figure it out later.

cheerz

kaka..i see what u mean..

but i guess it's difficult being a good wife n mother, as well as being in tip-top form for the man all the time..sigh..i know, that's a diff. issue..

[SunwayKid]

hum..i wonder if love is still in de air, would the man still find his wife attractive and voluptious albeit she's a giant 70kg giant and still keep him awake from sleep at the twilight years?....with request for supper instead of ...?...

Eh..Mon, Ski referring to the other "Giant" that normally don't weigh so much lah. :D

[mon]

Eh..Mon, Ski referring to the other "Giant" that normally don't weigh so much lah. :D

yes ka?..sorry la i very slow and forgetful one..can't remember what a 'giant' looks like anymore..!! hehehehe........
;)

[GreenBug]

hum..i wonder if love is still in de air, would the man still find his wife attractive and voluptious albeit she's a giant 70kg giant and still keep him awake from sleep at the twilight years?....with request for supper instead of ...?...

Does love only exist when the wife, at 58, is still shapely and voluptious and sexually arousing? IMHO, thats a very narrow view of love.... ;)

[orchipalar]

Err...trouble is when the man would still swear that he is very much still loves his wife at 58...n him being at 60...he swears the same love for other SYTs...ahem...elsewhere...so how? :o

Err...btw...not having realised it until now...4000th freaking posting! :D

[Joe Gomez]

............Err...btw...not having realised it until now...4000th freaking posting! :DOh YES ............ it is the 4000th alright.
Let your fingers keep talking, orchi. CHEEEEEEERRSSSS :D :cool:

[USJ27Resident]

Err...Cherry:)...sorry should this sound discouraging to you...just telling what has been a part of Orchi's life...

As early as when Orchi was in primary school...Orchi's father already started to take on extra marital affairs...

Late Mom at the time...closed both eyes to everything that he did outside of the house...n pretended n acted as if she was even willing to give full support n blessing to him having the opportunity to take on a second wife...

Instead...Orchi n younger siblings...showed that we were not very pleased with what our father was doing from time to time on that matter...

Until such time...after long n many years down the road...we since came to realise...though we felt that what our father had been doing was wrong...unfair n unforgivable...he has always been there for us...irrespective of what happened...

Today...he is still with us...though living eventually with his second wife...from whom Orchi has got another youngest sister since(Orchi's own Mom took care of her since birth)... :o


Bang on the nail!! This happens to so many men... (...and women). But the bottom line is.... whose to blame? Here, the priorities in the house have changed - before /after marriage, before/after kids, etc etc... but yet still you cannot have the cake and eat it.... but a lot of women do... they know hubby play play outside but because hubby bring back the dough and/or is a good father too, wifey keeps quiet.... but then again - I know of some women oso who do the same too, play play outside.... but because she is the breadwinner... the hubby keep quiet!

Nobody is perfect... but only human. And to err is human. God only knows who.... Sho-ganaii [japanese]

[orchipalar]

Err...pardon Orchi for the ignorance...ahem...heard that man folks above 40s...make up to the significant numbers of the viagra users...?

Ahem...could this be possibly having any relations to this so called mid life crisis too...? :confused:

Err...how about any possibility that...perhaps...the so called midlife crisis could also be due to these man folks above the age of 40s...were not getting enough sex...? :o

[ivanhow]

One thing for sure my father is having one... I just wanted to know whether the period is going to be long and how to handle this situation :(
Sorry to hear that this is still on-going... Cherry, It is difficult to change someone, it is easier to change yourself. Most of the time the person on a journey of discovery may not know it... just going along until one fine day, something awakens him/her... What we have is taken for granted till it is no longer there... (something we are very familiar... but we ourselves are guilty of it). That you have a father is taken for granted till it is not there one day. The same, that he has a daughter is taken for granted till it is not there (but pls dont ever do anything silly that will be regretable).

Again, all the telltale signs are only symptoms of a real problem. These symptoms usually caumorflage the real problem. It cud be an event, or a series of events that had happened in the past that never seem to be forgotten and forgiven... Perhaps, there is no avenue for him to voice his anger, frustration or dissatisfaction... and he needs an avenue where he can express it. Discontent cud be a reason but is not enuf to tell you what to do... Still self realization is the key.

Being open minded helps, but easier said than done. Be ready to forgive when he realized that he had taken the wrong path... Until then, it is still a journey of discovery. Remember, life is just a (very short) journey...

Perhaps help him find a new realization for a reason to change... which is not easy but the encouragement from someone who is able to empathise with him to change may be easier... And to emphatize needs understanding.

"Mid Life Crisis" is just a term coined to categorize ppl who have these symptoms... is not necessary all ppl go thru it... no - it can be avoided. Help him realize he is worthy for what he is worth.
... just my 2sen thots...

[wsp]

Orchi, cherry... not only your fathers having EMA.. mine one too!
I dont bother to talk to him for 4 years!!!
simply because i hate him into his crappy bones!!
Just dunno why i can't forgive him at all... this dirty old man!
but my mom closes both eyes.. that's why life still goes on..

[mon]

I guess it's a transition in life that most men has to go thru but sadly most of them chose to hurt their loved ones in the process, oblivious that it's so wrong and some actions even immoral.

If my old man had chose to confide his feelings n sudden emotional changes to his family and good friends; we would have been there for him to help him thru.

Mid-life crisis doesn't involve sex and sex alone, it involves work, financial, insecurity etc IMHO..

So he strayed, like most of your dads did, and strayed horribly!

Don't think I wanna go thru the details but ironically for me his daughter; feels it's best that my parents were separated eventually in the end.

It has happened so long ago my mother is a strong woman now, always there when i need sound advice and her heart has healed over time.. at least I know for sure one of my parents is on solid ground now..

For my dad, he has a second family now but we are still close, mainly becos I know he can't hurt my mum anymore..

Forgive him, yes i eventually did. To hate a person takes effort so I won't use my effort on hating my own dad. :)

[orchipalar]

Orchi, cherry... not only your fathers having EMA.. mine one too!
I dont bother to talk to him for 4 years!!!
simply because i hate him into his crappy bones!!
Just dunno why i can't forgive him at all... this dirty old man!
but my mom closes both eyes.. that's why life still goes on..

Err...dear WSP:)...should he NOT being where...all of you need him most...Orchi shares your frustration...

Having said that...you have your mom in mind...to love n cherish more...that's what counts the most now...:)

A subject of an eternal remorse for Orchi...for NOT being there for Orchi's late Mom...when she had to endure the hardship of the loneliness...all those years...:(

[patrick]

Cherry, maybe you should invite your dad to attend our TT session. Let him come and meet the many of us who 'should' also be going through or have gone through the crisis. Maybe he could see through us that there is life after life after all!

But whatever he does, stay strong by your mom. He have to try to be strong and be the bonding factor for your mom's sake. I think I am eligible to dispense with a bit of advice. After all, I am your dad's peer.

Hey guys, if I seem to be going through that midlife crisis, please tell me huh?

All the best.

[cherry]

Patrick, I don't think that my father would be able to attend the TT session since he is in hometown. Thanks for the advice... He's here for a visit but I know that he still treat us the same and still love us... I'm just worried about my mom that why we would always be there for her like talking to her few times a week just to say hi..

Now, I know that I'm not the only person who have this experience... thanks all

[aRwEn]

Mid Life crisis for man

It all depends on the Chemistry and love. If the wife is still attractive and voluptious and demanding and if she can arouse a giant from sleep even at the twilight years then there is no problem for the man..he will stay home for his nightcap. ;)

My views of course.


hmm.... i can understand where ski iz comin from....

actuali sum o d sexiest women i hav met r in their 40z o 50z... i guez mayb their kidz hav grown up n moved away so they hav more free time 2 spend wit their husbandz n on tmselvez.... they luk n feel gud abt tmselvez.... i c tm in d gym all d time!! they hav flatter tummiez tn a 20 yr old!! ;)

[PJS]

Which gym did u go to? Women in 40s n 50s... Confident, feel good about themselves, yes I agree. Flatter tummy than 20 yr olds? Erm, i dun think so... :D

[uchangeng]

what can we do about the man? i mean the DOM(dirty old man) who strays and strays horribly.

should the children disown him completely if that is necessary to protect the family?

my sis father in-law is one like that. he flirted with a 40s-year-old muslim widow of 4 kids who sells "nasi lemak" near where he lived. One nite he was caught red-handed(tangkap basah) somewhere with the widow, so he ended up marrying the woman. the children, including my bro-in-law disowned him completely. now the old man stays with the widow, helping her selling nasi lemak for a living. at 60s, i am not sure they still enjoy their S lives!

worst, the DOM would come to my bro-in-law once in a while to ask for money. the son, soft-hearted, still give.

[cherry]

worst, the DOM would come to my bro-in-law once in a while to ask for money. the son, soft-hearted, still give.

That is a pretty scary story and it would be a nightmare for me... :eek: My mom did warn me about this. I think I rather give money to the orphanage than to that DOM. :cool:

[uchangeng]

but how could you? he is your biological father, someone who contributes to your existance today.

[jack10dd]

Hi Cherry, after seeing your message, it prompt me to just share my 2 cents opinion.

Well on the dad's age reachin 60, after the tired n hard time of taking care of all the childrens in his life now he have sometime for himselfs. He searched n found someone to share his story of life.


The friends that used to hear all his stories ( in the hse ) are tired of hearing him out. How many times , it may cross yr head , this caption? [yea, i heard that one.] [Does he have to go on?] [ Ahh.....i have heard that too.]


Well for better time at 58 with stories to tell n some good soul to hear him out. how can he be so wrong? Even if he make out after that? He is the one that u look up too,at one time, your champion, your warrior, your idola, your guidance, your captain and of course your superman , your dad !!!!!


Well, time have taught us to forgive n forget bt we humans refuse to accept the reality n blame the wonder earth for these mishaps.


Give him some time , he surely will come back, shower him with love and care n remember to tell him that U still want to hear from him, his stories , his ideas, u still need him to guide u. Only love , care and determination can bring him back.

He is not in for your advice, so pls dun give!!!


Best regards - jack.


Any comments , you can get me at jack10dd@yahoo.com

[aRwEn]

Which gym did u go to? Women in 40s n 50s... Confident, feel good about themselves, yes I agree. Flatter tummy than 20 yr olds? Erm, i dun think so... :D

hav been 2 fitness first, celebrity, n california fitness.... cuz sum o tm hav free 1-2 wk previewz... n im not kiddin abt their flat tummiez lorr cuz most galz wn goin 2 d gym wear leotardz so iz veri obviouz wun.... can b verified by my frenz whom i went 2 d gym wit.... hehehe... ;)

[aRwEn]

hmm.... after hearin all d storiez, i sympathize wit u, cherry.... n hope dat thingz wud work out 4 ur parentz lorrr....

my dad passed away abt 5 yrz ago n one thing i value n respect abt him iz dat he wuz faithful 2 my mum in all hiz yrz o marriage despite their many upz n downz....

he wuz quite an open person n often talked 2 us kidz quite directly abt such stuff wun.

;)

[jordan]

For all those who:

a. wish their dad dead,
b. get angry with the fella
c. disown, curse, whatever......

Just put things into perspective and ask yourself this:

Would a father do the same to his child ?????

Would your father wish you dead if you go stray ?
Would your father disown you if you decide to fool around ?

[kpc]

Have anybody noticed that humans are the only animals in the entire animal kingdom that gets married to the opposite sex?

Do you know that humans don't get married for millions of years and only start to do so about 7,000 years ago?

Imagine, for millions of years, we don't get stuck with one spouse for life.
The suddenly, in a short time span of just 7,000 years, the rules have changed, and we have to be "faithful" to one person for life.

Of course evolution cannot move that fast.
So a lot of men still cannot get used to this relatively new idea of marriage.
That's why they stray....
Can you blame them if the genes cannot change so fast?

[VeeJay]

Do you know that humans don't get married for millions of years and only start to do so about 7,000 years ago?

Imagine, for millions of years, we don't get stuck with one spouse for life.
The suddenly, in a short time span of just 7,000 years, the rules have changed, and we have to be "faithful" to one person for life.

Hellow kawan human beings was not in existence million years ago!! Check your anthropology

[mon]

..I've always thought there's only one person made in heaven for each one of us, that person could be our husband/wives, bfs/gfs..or someone who has come and passed our ways..

When we make a commitment in marriage, we would never be sure if that is the certain 'someone' but then we have to be responsible and committed and faithful to that person we chose to marry. Sure there are lots of choices out there, the grass is always greener on the other side ppl say; so what is the purpose of 'commitment'?
It's our choice to make, whether we like it or not, being unfaithful for any reason at all; be it mid-life crisis or whatever; is not the right move. Hope we are a better and more loving lot than the westerners where divorce is as popular as getting into a new restaurant. Not 100% of them but who cares.
Hum, i'm suddenly getting this eagerness to pull my dad's ears..but well, I was too young then to know what was going on..anyway my mum is a happy girl now so good for us..

Cherry, albeit all that you're going thru now, try to accept your dad and help him get thru his 'crisis' one day at a time. Guess he needs time too but knowing his family is behind him would be a booster for him. To forgive him completely is a big step so don't think about that first, it'll eventually come..remember, our parents are much older folks, we don't get to be with them for a long time so must try to make life's journey sweeter for them now, they would've gone thru hell raising and taking care of us.. :)

..my 0.025 cents worth of view..

[Ski]

Treat your spouse like your best friend, confidante and respect and you have years of happiness and bliss..no need to look elsewhere ;)

Cheerz