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Naka
27-11-2004, 01:42 PM
Bihari Essay: "Indian Cow"

You will forget your English by the time you finish reading this.

This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS)
Examinations. The candidate wrote an essay on the Indian cow:
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HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he is got
child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he
has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.

His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes
from 4 taps attached to his basement. [horses dont have any such
attachment

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species., Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees,
plants as well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza ], in hand, and
drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of
the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only
attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got
child.

This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes weapons to be
paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great
velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but
not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his
cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are
soft unto the touch So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time
have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and
nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow ...

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We are informed that the candidate passed the exam and is now an IAS,
is bihar in somewhere,..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]