Naka
27-09-2004, 01:22 PM
Heavenly Voice Mail
Many of us are now familiar with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Voicemail.gif:
Thank you for calling heaven. Please listen to the following instructions:
For English - press 1
For Spanish - press 2
For all other languages - press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request line.
Press 2 for Thanksgiving.
Press 3 for complaint department.
Press 4 for all others.
Voicemail 1.gif
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line. Wait time approx. 25 minutes.
Voicemail 2.gif
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy Spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven - press 5, then enter
his social security number followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666-you're in hell.)
Voicemail 3.gif
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3: 16.
Voicemail 4.gif
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Voicemail 5.gif
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Voicemail 6.gif
If you're calling after hours and you need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor. Thank you and have a heavenly day.
Voicemail 7.gif
Pass this on, only if you wish, to brighten someone's day ...
Many of us are now familiar with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Voicemail.gif:
Thank you for calling heaven. Please listen to the following instructions:
For English - press 1
For Spanish - press 2
For all other languages - press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request line.
Press 2 for Thanksgiving.
Press 3 for complaint department.
Press 4 for all others.
Voicemail 1.gif
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line. Wait time approx. 25 minutes.
Voicemail 2.gif
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy Spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven - press 5, then enter
his social security number followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666-you're in hell.)
Voicemail 3.gif
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3: 16.
Voicemail 4.gif
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Voicemail 5.gif
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Voicemail 6.gif
If you're calling after hours and you need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor. Thank you and have a heavenly day.
Voicemail 7.gif
Pass this on, only if you wish, to brighten someone's day ...