Cerita Panjang - GAME

[Doodles]

death by way of being punctured on a bed of a 1000 rusty nails! It's certain death unless one is clever enough to find scapegoats to..

[Dervish]

take one's place, this posing no problem whatsoever with promises of secret harlems and shuddering pleasures. You mustn't misunderstanding my...

[Doodles]

intentions. One of which is to sit back on my soft sofa with popcorns in one hand, legs propped up on the coffee table and on the other hand..

[Dervish]

the yellow dot remote controller. To me, these are the simple ...

[Doodles]

pleasures of life though I have to pay through my nose for them. Nevertheless, if I could, one day I wOuld like to..

[Dervish]

give them a large piece of my mind, then take over the company by some wicked corporate equity manipulation not known then to any man, dead or alive!! Meanwhile, poor Bijani ...

[Doodles]

was caught with his bAggy pants down. Not a pretty..

[Dervish]

situation to be in, let me tell you. :rolleyes: Pulling himself together, ...

[Doodles]

he quickly came up with an ingenious plan. Shooting a sly glance at his accomplice, Kazari the son of Gun who later..

[Dervish]

became Grand Council of the Faraway Galaxy, they fine-tuned their devious plan. But - If I tell you, ....

[Doodles]

you'll have to promise me you tell no one about it, not even your most trusted friend, ok. Cross you hEart and..

[Dervish]

hope to die, stick the needles in your eye! (traditional curse) Still, the plan had one major fault ....

[Doodles]

and a big huge sit-in-front-of-you-sure-block your-view one at that, if I may say so. What the green face mOnster didn't realize was..

[Dervish]

people talk, yes they do, they talk, talk, talk, is all they ever do!! :rolleyes: By the way, have you heard "Cats in the cradle", at that other thread......

[Doodles]

where the sOund of music is well and alive? Why, if I may say so, it's just like happy hours..

[Dervish]

minus the beer and the ambiance, but wait, let me pop over to my fridge for the former. The latter, well....

[Doodles]

we've to wait for the next TT to come alOng. I wonder when..

[Dervish]

I wonder why, I wonder how, we lost poor Bijani again. Looking back, it must have been...

[Doodles]

awesome to be able to have the cake and eat it. Smirking, Bijani..

[Dervish]

burped, an alien satiated is an alien indeed! With a wave of his hand, ...

[Doodles]

the two bungliNg aliens were brought before him and immediately promised to confess to the crime they did not commit. The botox-loving (in Mars botox is a delicacy I was told) fat alien..

[Dervish]

also admitted to the crime and all three were tickled to death, a fate worst than death, in case you're not aware. Bijani, now a free alien ...

[Doodles]

or so he thought, slept blissfully that night unaware that the botox-loving one was still alive and indeed planning to avenge her "death" even as he dreamed of eating his favourite earthly dish known to Martians as ChoiKeen Suikwai charsiew farn. A knOck on the door..

[Dervish]

in the middle of the night when he was in the midst of a steaming scene awoke him from his slumber. Irritated with this interruption and still sweating with his thoughts, he buried his head in his pillows and ...

[Doodles]

("Steaming scene"?:D)

hoped the visitor would go aWay but no luck. The knocking continued for..

[Dervish]

the next three numb-skulled minutes, increasing in tempo and urgency until, completely beside himself with rage, Bijani swung the door wide opened and thundered into the dark passageway to come face to face with "The Botox Pontianak!!!" :eek: :eek: Utterly transfixed, he remained rooted to the ground as ...

[Doodles]

the ugly fat mOnster did the unspeakable. She took a dump.. :eek:

[Dervish]

and did the most unspeakable act. She ...

[Doodles]

cleaned herself with Bijani's napkin and fOrce him to smell it!! :eek:. Little did she know, Bijani actually..

[Dervish]

had a devious plan to decimate the Botox Pontianak herself using a dubious method which only the biggest nincompoop could construct. He googled it first of course, just to be doubly sure, and then ...

[Doodles]

executed the first phrase of his evil plan which involved two bungling copsi (term used by Martians to describe nincompoops) and some highly lethal substance wrapped in a box. They tricked the Botox Pontianak, the ugliest thing Martian or Man for that matter have ever laid eyes on, into a huge forest where the dastardly dEed..

[Dervish]

...was described in full details so that the Botox Pontianak understands the modus operandi and could then perish appropriately in accordance to the plan. When all present agreed to a suitable time, the plan ...

[Doodles]

took off like clockwork. The puke-inducing Botox Pontianak gave a shrill laughter sending chills down her gang of accomplices, sons of Gun (Gun is a Martian clan if you must know), signaling the start..

[Dervish]

of the decimating ceremony. Bijani admonished the Botox Pontianak because her shrill laughter sent chills down his spine thus making it ...

[Doodles]

impossible to focus on the dastardly job at hand and we know very well what that was. In case you have been living in Pluto fOr the past 5 years, let me bring you up to..

[Dervish]

date, although, in retrospect.....now that the CAT is BACK (*winks at Doodles in a meaningful way) we'd probably have to circumvent the entire issue altogether lest each of us be issued 'free passes' to see fruits being plucked. Did you notice how the forum had been swept really clean today by ...

[Doodles]

the man himself, the man who needs no intrOduction? Yes, I noticed that but that is the least of my..

[Dervish]

observation. I also noticed that ....

[Doodles]

there has no news of the two bungling goons who did poor Alticklemyfoot in. They've probably left Mars and nOw..

[Dervish]

*LOL*.....is on their way to Tutti-Frutti Land....*LOL*....That being the case, Bijani quickly passes the Botox Pontianak to Dagger, the alien notorious for raising his four armed hands in public and chanting ...

[Doodles]

"Give me my Martian crutch! AltOgether now..give me my Martian crutch!". That never failed..

[Dervish]

to stir a crowd, any motley crowd, and soon they were eating right off his palm to the tune of "Give me my Martian crutch". Obviously, the Botox Pontianak, had every reasons to worry since she had no idea what the crutch was for, thinking perhaps....

[Doodles]

it would be abused by Bijani for his selfish needs and as a result she would get nothing. No free handOuts was a frightening..

[Dervish]

prospect especially when such is your birthright. She decided to make secret arrangements with Dagger to ...

[Doodles]

finish off her ravishing competitor she disgustingly referred to as Biachi , a Martian word meaning "she's so beautiful she makes me more ugly". The two Martian moons, one named Penny, the other Martina, were soon..

[Dervish]

doomed to a linear collision, a phenomenon which happens once every 6o years. Meanwhile I wonder if Biachi is the same Alticklemyfoot which made a brief appearance recently as ...

[Doodles]

the alien submarine spy who was caught in a triangular love affair. Even as I pondered over the possibilities, the Botox POntianak made her..

[Dervish]

decision known, which is, that she will keep Alticklemyfoot because the name rolled so well off her tongue and do the other one in. A terrible ...

[Doodles]

decision, one made withOut much thought and therein lies the problem. You see..

[Dervish]

...the Botox Pontianak herself is in great peril for she's the target on Bijani and Dagger's mind, not forgetting the two goons still hiding out among the flora and fauna. Unbeknownst to one and all...

[Doodles]

the foul mouth, incredibly ugly mama of a Pontianak had a secret accomplice. He was..

[Dervish]

an old fox called Amanapa whose influence stretches across the seven seas. With a snap of his gnarled fingers, he ordered the extermination of ...

[Doodles]

Rawna, his greatest eyesore. Everything went accOrding to..

[Dervish]

plan except when a journalist from The Rats squealed to the press and brought the curtains down, forcing the old fox to change his target to The Botox Pontianak who was such a nag and therefore expendable. Alticklemyfoot, he decided to keep for ...

[Doodles]

supper, maybe even breakfast. He was undecided as yet for there were more important tasks on hAnd like..

[Dervish]

lobbying for a spot on the who's-who list of international news maker. On impulse, he decided to ...

[Doodles]

beckon Alticklemyfoot over to where he was sitting. Walking slowly towards the old fox, a thought..

[Dervish]

..occupied the young lady. What if ...

[Doodles]

he gave me the Golden Crutch, the license to receive not only free handouts for life but one free bubble bath every single day too, for washing his smelly feet? Alticklemyfoot pOndered over the possibilities as she..

[Dervish]

inched nearer to the fox. Suddenly ...

[Doodles]

without so much as a warning, the Botox Pontianak appeared out of nowhere and yanked the ravishing beauty away from the old fox screaming, "Nobody touches that! It's all mine!!". AmusEd by the drama that was unfolding before him, Amanapa..

[Dervish]

jumped for joy!! They ...

[Doodles]

,meaning the old fox and BotOx Pontianak, hit the dance floOr when they heard the DJ spinning "Night Fever". Alticklemyfoot stared in..

[Dervish]

envious calm. Bijani walked over ...

[Doodles]

,took her smooth smooth hand and led her to room no 14 where a bottle of 1904 armagnac baron de lustrac sat nicely on the drEssing table. Once in the room, Bijani reached out..

[Dervish]

for the light. He...

[Doodles]

threw a knowing glance at Altickelmyfoot, smiled broadly and started walking towards her, shivering slightly with aNticipation. Everything was going according to plan, Bijani thought to himself as he..

[Dervish]

smiled in the darkness. Suddenly ...

[Doodles]

the strong aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. Puzzled, he looked..

[Dervish]

up to see The Botox Pontianak enter his room with a cuppa. He cursed himself for not locking ..

[Doodles]

the door. BOtox Pontianak, hungry and angry-hungry because it had been 4 hours since she had had a meal and angry because she had hoped Bijani had the hots for her but obviously the scenario before her indicated otherwise-went straight..

[Dervish]

to the window, parted the drapes to reveal a man, not just any man, but a man with real power, panache, a man oozing charm from his very pores, a man who, as he oiled his way across the floor held in his hands a bunch of cucumbers. (*winks at Doodles in a meaningful way*) They stood perplexed as ...

[Doodles]

(LOL..that was a stroke of ingenuity, if I may say so. :D)

this powerful man glided tOwards a drawer, opened it and pulled out a manual. He turned to page 37 and proceeded..

[Dervish]

(*LOL* ...page 37 of the script again...*groans*.....a script I must imagine?...*LOL*)

with "I put it to you, that everything you write in this page is a lie, and I will show you, point by point, that you have no background information and yet you lie about the ash tray, and lie about the self-strangulation, and lie about your university." Bijani went pale as ....

[Doodles]

(LOL.. we have done page 37 before?! :D:D )

it dawned on him that he was caught this time and there was no lawyer in the land clever enough to lie for him, I mean, dEfend him. Just when he almost gave up..

[Dervish]

...the Botox Pontianak had a rare nostalgic moment and decided to admit to the crime by committing the first perjury of the century. She ...

[Doodles]

,however, told the court she had to take a dump first no thanks to a raging stomachache. The court granted her pErmission and as she got up to walk, she started..

[Dervish]

to palpitate, sweat, collapsed and died on the spot! The amazing judge ...

[Doodles]

suppressed a giggle, his face lighting up. Delirious with happiness that such a wicked creature had died, he proclaiMed ○○○

[Dervish]

a Public Holiday for one and all! .....Everyone shot out of the courtroom, rejoicing ...

[Doodles]

not believing their luck. Another holiday, another day of doing nothing, anOther day of..

[Dervish]

pure nothing doing absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, the poor Botox Pontianak laid unattended except for ...

[Doodles]

..errr..ohhh noooo..I'm having a writer's blOck!! This is not good but wait, I •••

[Dervish]

....will have the Botox Pontianak properly buried before I go one more time with "Oh My God!! :eek: Writer's block!!" ............*ten minutes of calm follows while the whole world stood still*.......Now where were we again......ah yes, the block is gone and I ...

[Doodles]

finally find my creative juices flowing again so let's pick up where we left off ○○○ If you think BOtox Pontianak has died and gone to hell where she should be, you're ..

[Dervish]

right because she's buried six feet deep and never coming back, bless her soul. Bijani, now a free man looked at Alticklemyfoot and ...

[Doodles]

promised her a university degree by hook or by crook despite her failure to even complete secondary school. With a sly smile, Bijani ○○○

[Dervish]

invited her to follow him to Broga Hills where they watched the sunset alone and unaccompanied. When the last ray of sunlight dipped behind the hills ...

[Doodles]

, The Sound Of Music ♥ sudenly came alive, seemingly coming from a house near the foot of the hill. Curious, they..

[Dervish]

crept towards the outer parameter of the house where they laid siege and waited until a solitary candle revealed a silhouette. Alticklemyfoot was ordered to hold her position and request reinforcement while Bijani did a reconnaissance of ...

[Doodles]

the area and to his amazement found some C4 buried behind a huge rock some 50 feet away from the mysterious house. Alticklemyfoot got on the phone with Inspector Ah Zee Dee who went by the moniker..

[Dervish]

"BooBoo" and the elite SWAT team was soon parachuted to the scene and combing it inch by inch when lo and behold, mines of all shapes and sizes were detected. Bijani's hair ...

[Doodles]

stood on end as a shrill voice pierced thrOugh the air. Bijani shot a glance at○○○

[Dervish]

BooBoo, whose real name we mustn't reveal if we haven't already, who in turn looked at Alticklemyfoot who, in clear sight of one and all, stood up and evaporated!! This is utterly ...

[Doodles]

unbelievable. Why, ○○○

[Dervish]

you wouldn't believe it if I tell you how, so I won't. Just know that Alticklemyfoot is never coming back and that all she left behind in a pool of gooey, sticky mass is ...

[Doodles]

(Will continue the Alticklemyfoot saga once I come back. Going out now with some friends for lunch. Meantime, I think this story is too hot for everyone else for we don't see them coming in at all. :D:D ○○○ )

[Dervish]

(Agree. We're living too dangerously. Perhaps we should shift to more goody-two-shoes characters.)

[Doodles]

(We shift to goody two shoes characters and WE won't come in! :D:D We used to have Naka and Currymee quite actively participating but what happened to them huh? Hope they will return soon. This place misses them a lot! )

an avenging spirit. Be afraid, be ○○○

[Dervish]

very afraid. Upon closer examination, BooBoo made an earth-shattering discovery which ...

[Doodles]

we can't reveal here for fear of repeRcussions. However, I suppose I can say ○○

[Dervish]

that he stumbled upon a wormhole into which Alticklemyfoot went 7 years into the future to a place where dry ice :rolleyes: if you've ever heard of such a thing, existed! However, we cannot reveal where the wormhole is for fear that ...

[Doodles]

errr...urmm...afraid we can't tell you that eithEr. In other words ○○○

[Dervish]

all we can say is that BooBoo, Bijani and the entire entourage followed Alticklemyfoot into the wormhole and ended up, due to some system error, 49 years into the future, thus bringing the past into a mysterious conclusion.

The year is ...

[Doodles]

2059. Alticklemyfoot is well and ○○○

[Dervish]

...very old by now. Bijani ...

[Doodles]

is much older, walks with a crutch but still has a roving eye for nubile young things. The Botox Pontianak survived too but her ugliness has taken a further turn for the worse, now looking..

[Dervish]

...like something the cat dragged in. Of course you realized that 49 years ago, the Botox Pontianak was actually buried, and with this in mind, let me...

[Doodles]

tell you that the Time Travel Machine has a tendency of making things turn out differently, for the worst in this case. What is most shocking, I'm sure you're dying to know, is that..

[Dervish]

although you're just dying to know, I'm dying to know too for I haven't got a clue....:D:D.....But my friend Doodles will say....

[currymee]

Coffee or Tea? Turns out the Time Machine is .....

[Dervish]

anything to anyone. You can ...

(Currymee, warm welcome back!!:D:D)

[currymee]

go foward to look at the Sports Toto Winning Jackpot numbers. just don't forget to ....

[Dervish]

go back to the past to buy those numbers. And do ...

[currymee]

not TELL anyone !!! Otherwise you are ....

[Dervish]

disqualified and have to give back the prize winnings. Those are the ...

[currymee]

rules set by Arnold the Time Keeper. Arnold keeps his ....

[Dervish]

good looks while others lose theirs. Haven't you ...

[xinrong]

..seen him lately, I bet some nip & tuck had gone in...

[Dervish]

between the rolls of pure fats. Why, even ...

(Welcome, Xinrong. Always glad to see a fresh face, er, handle...:D:D)

[xinrong]

...his chin looks more chiseled than a decade ago!

[Dervish]

As for his biceps, one can't help wondering. Do you...

(Xinrong, the rule of the game is that you finish off the sentence in the previous post and then start a new sentence to be finished by someone else...:) )

[xinrong]

(sorry tuan..)

...think he pump the irons? Or did he...

[Dervish]

....or was he born with those? When he was younger, he...

(Hey, no prob., Ma'am..... :D )

[Doodles]

wanted to be just like Boy George. Then a saw a gymnasium and the next ○○○

[Dervish]

is of course history. So we're still ...

[Doodles]

curious as to what became of the Botox Pontianak, aren't we? Well, if my guess is correct, she should be.. ↓

[Dervish]

dead, but I guess you're not going to have her dead after all, are you? My, you are ....

*LOL*

[Doodles]

a vampire lover, aren't you? Funny but on one occAsion..

[Dervish]

on a moonless night, deep in the woods, with crickets banging eternity away, I came face to face with what I now suspect is a vampire. I'll tell you why I ...

[Doodles]

felt the way I did in a few minutes but firstly I must confess that this female vampire was a true ravishing beauty. There was a mOment when I felt..

[currymee]

Arnold heavy hand on my shoulders and he said "I am here, don't be scared !". Seeing Arnold with his gatling gun ....

[xinrong]

..made me exasperated. It was my chance to ravish the....

[Dervish]

...Big Apple Doughnuts down to the last piece and their removal by Uncle Doodles was such a letdown. Surely, he can't be ...

[Doodles]

that hungry, wiping off that bowl of curry mutton dry leaving nothing for me? When I get the chance ○○○

[Dervish]

to see him, I'm going to tick him off one by one, starting with the doughnuts, down to the lohmai-kai, over to the satay and finally the curry mutton. This shocking appetite must ...

[Doodles]

be due to Sir Glutton aka Doodles and his fast and furious chomping down of whatever delicious leaving little if at all for me!! I'm now so famished I can ○○○

[Dervish]

squeeze through a crack in the wall! :eek: Since lunch is ...

[Doodles]

not ready yet, guess I'll go read a good book I bought yesterday. It's called ○○○

[Dervish]

International Jew by Henry Ford but reading this book makes me so drowsy I may miss my lunch call and the dreaded Sir Glutton might gobble-up everything in sight again. That is surely a fate worse than ...

[Doodles]

being promised millions of dollars only to be tied up, verbally abused and then hours later, blown up alive. And to rub salt to injury ○○○

[Dervish]

is a most indecent proposition if I may say so. Why, last night ...

[Doodles]

a ravishingly beautiful vampire appeared in my room while I was reading a book. Imagine my ○○○

[Dervish]

shock at the audacity of it all. She had the cheeks ...

(GTG Sir Doodles, for a function. Hope Xinrong comes in to bump this thread up a little..:D:D)

[Doodles]

rosy pinks ones at that, every girl wants. At a total loss for words, I stammered, "A-a-are you h-h-here for your f-f-food or.." ○○

↨ Sir VenusPop, have a wonderful time at the ball. Don't forget to be back by midnight. :D:D. I too hope Xinrong will jump in later to give a different perspective to our stories. →

[Dervish]

....fo-fo-for mi-mine?" as I held out the uneaten goat still struggling within my grasp. She ...

[Doodles]

went for my neck! In her haste to suck out my delicious blood, she..

[Dervish]

dropped her denture and started crawling around looking for it. I bolted ...

[Doodles]

out of the room as fast as my legs could take me. I ran and ran and ran and ○○○

[xinrong]

..to the kitchen,gotta start cooking. MIL is coming...

[Dervish]

over for a karaoke session tonight, AGAIN!! :eek: I'll see what I can do about the ...

[xinrong]

...songs selection, she loves opera but.....

[Dervish]

...not me! I must stop...

[Doodles]

her by hook or by crook. Why, once a forumer tried to sing in my house and I..

:D:D

[Dervish]

had her for dinner! Nobody guessed but my plants were...

[xinrong]

...happy to have the leftovers, my dear Venus fly-traps! Why...

[Doodles]

am I so happy? Do you really.. ○○○

[Dervish]

want to hear my karaoke story? Well, ...

[Doodles]

take this microphone and sing me a song. Not any song will do mind you and if you haven't already guessed, I want you to sing ○○○

[Dervish]

"She Bangs!", and you must make it sound exactly like my hero William Hung. If not ...

[Doodles]

I'll lock you up in the same room with Ricky Martin. Be warned that Mr Martin..

ΘiΘ

[Dervish]

jiggles non-stop! But George Michael, ahh.....Georgie, I'm sure you know, likes nothing better than ...

[xinrong]

..a good Wham. What else...

[Dervish]

but those, you cheeky little toad, you...*LOL* Anyway, my MIL ...

*just teasing*

[xinrong]

just said that...

[Dervish]

...my pots and kettles are pretty clean. They ...

[Doodles]

(Xinrong, Venus is sending you another banana for rule violation! :D:D *teasing*)

are totally drenched by that pot of pork knuckles. The waiter, suppressing a giggle,.. ○○○

[Dervish]

helped picked the pieces one by one, carefully and gently. He ...

(Don't listen to him, XR. I don't have licence for bananas but we're working on cucumbers.....:D:D....)

[Doodles]

couldn't stop salivating at the juicy eye-popping culinary delights that seemed to have a life of their own. He pinched one and much to his surprise.. ○○○

(Cucumbers! How could I have forgotten? My bad. A thousand apologies. )

[Dervish]

all he got for his trouble was a tight slap followed closely by the blood-shot eyes of someone who looked strangely familiar. Why, ...

(One cucumber for forgetting! When this is over, You'd pray for Mr Chang's bananas)

[xinrong]

(aiyo, no wonder I have got so much salad! Keep forgetting the rules..)

...isn't that his ex? And drunk ...

[Doodles]

as he was, he could tell she was his ex immediately. The dead giveaway was her.. ○○○

(When are we having our salad party, Venus? ☺ )

[Dervish]

purple eyes, yes, you read me correctly, purple eyes she had on account of her alien ancestry. The two little kids at her side ...

(salad party? When brinjals join the scene. I do recall that brinjals are issued to the hesitant. No?)

[Doodles]

started crying for their mother who promised them she would be back the moment she collected her commission of half a million dollars. As we all know, mommy ○○

[Dervish]

never did return. The two poor kids...

[Doodles]

cried and cried when grandpa broke the news to them, that mommy was never going to return. Ten years later and having successfully mastered Shaolin kungfu, they swore ○○○

[Dervish]

to avenge their mother's demise. (A little speculation here.....it was widely rumored on AlienNow a news-portal on the galaxy that the mother was involved in a booboo and had to be erased under a project known as "Damage Control") Romulus and Remus, for those were the names of the kids ...

[Doodles]

decided to track down the ruthless murderers, all three of them or so the story goes, in a city called Kili Liper. After a lengthy discussion, they agreed that the first to go (die) wOuld be.. ○○○

[Dervish]

the third murderer (Charlie) as the rule of management dictates that the least important should always be the first to go. (For administrative purposes, we shall name the trio Alpha, Beta and Charlie) Next on the agenda was the modus operandi and Romulus decided that ...

[Doodles]

he would fly to a Martian town named Londiani where according to Martian Intelligence Charlie was hiding. Remus, in the meantime ○○○

[Dervish]

went on a reconnaissance mission to track down Alpha and Beta. Arriving at Londiani, Romulus ...

[Doodles]

jumped into a taxi and asked to be taken to a spa in the city centre where he beliEved Charlie, the cool-blooded philanderer of a murderer was at. Romulus soon arrived at..

[Dervish]

... the Purple Cow Spa Village whereupon he immediately befriended Charlie by offering him two dozen Pierre Moncuit 1995 Blanc de Blancs and a socialite called Eiffel Milton. It appears ....

[Doodles]

Charlie was already drunk, blabbering incessantly to the two young ladies sitting on his lap, his hands on places we cannot mention here for obvious reasons. The incorrigible Charlie not only didn't feel a tinge of remorse over the killing of his ○○○

[Dervish]

peers but quickly agreed to Romulus's suggestion to wheel in the karaoke player complete with four mikes, one of which was quickly handed over to Miss Milton who is known universally as "Deep Croak". After a long and tedious night ...

[Doodles]

of singing into microphones *meaning wink to Venus* Charlie and Romulus had become good friends. Great, thought Romulus to himself, as he prepared ○○○

[Dervish]

for the kill by handing all 4 mikes to "Deep Croak" for the grand finale, a song which kills, if nothing else. A sinister snort escaped Romulus as he rose to ...

[Doodles]

pick up the roasted suckling pig on the dining table and threw it at "Deep Croak" with all his might! Hungry as a wolf, Charlie screamed, "Buddy, you've just wasted a juicy meal there, you....... " ○○○

[Dervish]

....but before he could utter another word, he stood rooted to the ground as he heard Deep Croak's rendition of "I shot the sheriff", a song with such powerful lyrics, they went straight into his heart, filled him with so much mortification that all blood vessels in his body refused to cooperate, collapsing immediately, resulting in a most unkind heart arrest which resulted in instant death, eyes wide opened kind of instant death. Not waiting for the alarm to be sounded, Romulus ...

(Holy Mackerel!! :eek: I just outdid Virginia Wolfe!)

[Doodles]

made his escape through the back door quickly and silently. Meanwhile back in Kili Liper ○○○

(Virginia would have been proud of you, ma boy. ::D )

[Dervish]

Remus's surveillance GPS (Yes, there is such a gadget as this, all you do is upload a picture to the gadget and it brings you to your target, right to the doorstep. Technology! :rolleyes: ) revealed that Beta is in a library, almost bored to death. (Yes, you can even see that on the Surveillance GPS) An idea ...

[Doodles]

started to take shape in Remus' fertile mind. Since Beta, a Martian known far and wide in the universe for his philandering ways, was..

(Dude, you've thought out this story very carefully, haven't you? :D )

[Dervish]

a terrible bore, the only way to "do" him was to bore him to death,and sure enough, this mission was accomplished when Miss Milton force-read an entire book called "General Relativity: An Einstein Centenary Survey" written by Stephen Hawking. In case you're wondering how he could sit through the entire reading, ...

(No, just improvising as we progress. How could I have thought out the plot with you on the other side? Your unpredictability is notorious!!:D:D )

[Doodles]

well…the philandering murderer of a mother-fforgetting-to-cook-nasi-lemak Martian did not exactly do that, although he pretended to, hence you the audience will be surprised to know that the mission didn’t do him in after all. Now that I have your attention, let us get to the juicy part which is..

(Improvising as we progress…yes, your right there. That’s the fun part. Keep it up! :D )

[Dervish]

...of course how Eiffel Milton snaked her way onto his lap, wrapped one hand around his neck, locked both legs with her long lanky ones, and with the other hand holding steadfastly to THE book, began her deep croaky reading directing her boring words into his ears, a very successful mission, I might add, for before long, poor Beta was bored stiff and nothing in the world could revive him, which means, there goes a dead man!! With Beta pronounced so beyond-redemption-dead, ....

(GTG Doodles. My comedy starts in ten minutes. See if you can do anything about the dead man's fate..:D )

[Doodles]

there was only one thing left to do and that is to go after Alpha, the ugliest Martian of them all, the mastermind of the crime. In fact, she was so hideously ugly that she only needed to tie up her intended victims, force open their eyes, make them stare at her for 30 seconds and they would be quite dead. Romulus and Remus concocted the perfect plan to kill the repulsive looking Martian by ○○○

[xinrong]

...wearing goggles with mirrors so that the Martian can see herself. Martian mahdam tried to avoid looking.....

[Dervish]

(*ROTFLMAO*.......Gosh you two are hilarious.....*LOL*...Doodles, ingenious idea. You've outdone yourself....*LOL*....XR, goggles? .....another ingenious improvisation.....*LOL*.....looks like I can't outdo you two....*LOL*)

....and she succeeded, for if anything, she's the brainiest of the trio, and nothing, no grandiose premeditated plan is going to outfox her. So ...

[Doodles]

without further delay, she quickly left the scene, hopped into a taxi and soon arrived at a posh restaurant where she had placed an advance order for her favorite dish known to earthlings as bakkut-teh. To celebrate her escape, the ugly mother-fffighting-for-a-chance to-watch TV Martian.. ○○○

(:D:D)

[Dervish]

bought a round of beer for all other customers of the post restaurant, name withheld here for security reasons which I'm sure you'd understand; not having prior knowledge, (did I tell you that knowledge is power? BTW) that Romulus and Remus had in their hands a most powerful gadget, the Surveillance GPS which is currently, even as we speak, locked onto her position. Alpha, for that was her name ...

[xinrong]

..and that's how she was when they found her, slurping on her final drops of BKT soup. She looked up at her pursuers and ..............

[Dervish]

scooted out of sight. Strangely ...

[Doodles]

enough, when the still hungry murderess got home, she called up Ah Chai Bakkut-teh and ordered a pot of the delicacy to be delivered straight to her home! In addition to bakkut-teh, she was also known to love sinking her rotting teeth into ○○○

[Dervish]

goats and chickens. However ...

[xinrong]

..the jugular vein of the cute BKT delivery boy...bwah-ha-ha...However, when the door bell rang....

[Doodles]

Alpha opened it and was shocked to find a 73 year old man by the name of Jimmy Iamcute-ah standing chest forward with a diamond ring in hand. Just then..

[Dervish]

the entire affair suddenly smelt fishy, and it struck Alpha that she may be in peril. She peppered-spray her apparent suitor and ...

[Doodles]

flashed him her ugliest smile she could muster up, not knowing of course, that she needn't have tried very hard at all and the smile would have been just as hideously repulsive. Quick as lightning, the man threw ○○○

[Dervish]

his hands over his eyes knowing full well that her looks could kill! (Reminder: The most important weapon in Alpha's arsenal is her strategically placed looks) Unbeknownst to her, ...

[Doodles]

the old man's ring dropped to the floor as silently as Alpha had farted a few moments ago filling up the room with the foulest of odor yet but strangely Beta, Alpha's partner in crime, now dead, used to enjoy smelling her fart, asking for more each time she let off one. Incredible as that may sound,.. ○○○

[Dervish]

... and incredible did it sound for we knew so little about the working relationship among the partners in crime. Just to side-track for a while ...

[Doodles]

I've an itch in my left nostril and my stomach is growling. To top it off ○○○

[Dervish]

... I detect a grilling scent of roasting tenderloin and the rich cheesy aroma of baked crab. Where ...

[Doodles]

is that sweet sweet aroma coming frooooom, GÖdammit!?! Please excuse me while I go in search of..

(GTG dude. Be back later...hopefully. :D )

[Dervish]

...women, wine and song, of course not, it's food I seek, you oaf! There's never food around when you're ...

[Doodles]

in the company of beautiful women like Selma Blair, Jessica Alba and Megan Fox. What I fail to understand is that ○○○

[Dervish]

beautiful women just do not gravitate towards me. Now why ...

[Doodles]

is that so? Could it be because I have Pinocchio's nose or perhaps..

[Dervish]

wifey...had to be wifey....darned if she's not always by my side! Why, ...

[Doodles]

(:D:D This is tricky to continue but I shall try! )

I'd do a handstand on a moving lorry driven by a drunkard if she'd just go on a one week holiday. The week that Selma Blair is ♥

[Dervish]

coming to town, I'm gonna volunteer, that's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna volunteer to carry her bags, that's what I'm gonna do, I'm a tellin' ya! Wifey ...

[Doodles]

enjoying her holiday in Hong Kong while I wine and dine Selma at Grand Imperial Restaurant in USJ City Mall. That, my friend, is ○○○

[currymee]

Heaven until Arnold walked in and shouted, " Stop disturbing my gals !!". Arnold threw a .....

[Dervish]

punch and hurled me into a wall of screaming fans. I ...

[currymee]

was caught by 3 pretty gals :) . Arnold jumped on to the stage and ...

[Dervish]

started singing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth". When ...

[Doodles]

Susan joined ArNie on stage the crowd screamed in delight. Some even..

[Dervish]

whistled. He...

[Doodles]

grinned. She..

[Dervish]

moaned. They ...

:D:D:D

[Doodles]

hugged. Arnie ○○

[Dervish]

puckered his lips. He ...

[Doodles]

took Susan by the hand. They ○○○

[Dervish]

smooched. Then ...

[Doodles]

Currymee decided enough is enough. He ○○○

[Dervish]

shook the daylights out of the lovebirds. Then ...

[Doodles]

looked Arnie straight in the eye saying, "Buddy, I'm Currymee and this you must know. I......."

[Dervish]

own this place, the whole of Subang Jaya and USJ and nobody comes here but through me and by me and with me, so, are we clear?" He glared ...

[Doodles]

snarled and growled at I-bra Ahlee, the crutch collector. Taking in a deeeep breath, Ahlee opened his mouth ○○○

[currymee]

only to be smacked shut by Arnold. Arnold told AHlee, "You got bad .....

[Doodles]

breath and you look like a stinking rhino!". AhLee appeared stunned for a moment but having composed himself a minute later, he..○○

[Dervish]

conceded defeat and left with his tails between his legs. But ...

[Doodles]

that wasn't the end of the story. The crutch collector was hell-ßent on ○

[Dervish]

revenge so he quietly sneaked to Currymee's favourite haunt, yes, Choy Kee Restaurant. He ...

[Doodles]

ordered an extra large bowl of currymee with extra helpings of cripsy siewyoke and proceeded to chomp it all down in 3 mouthfuls! As if that wasn't enough, he.. Θ

[Dervish]

complained loudly about two cockroaches he quietly planted inside the curry. The food inspectors as if on cue ...

[Doodles]

showed up almost in an instant screaming and shouting just for the heck of it, like they always do. CurryLady, the proprietress thought..die man this time...and motioned them to sit down for a friendly.. ○○○

[Dervish]

... handshake, ;) if you get my drift, for a 'handshake', properly administered often solved all sorts of problems big or small. This time ...

[Doodles]

the handshake involved 24 live chickens, 40 large bowls of currymee, to go with 'kah-liew' and 40 glasses of kopi-o-peng KAU. In addition ○○○

(Boss in a meeting. Coast is clear for me to come out again! :D:D )

[Dervish]

some more got folded paper in all denominations. Smiling ...