Change in sexuality- a worrying trend?

[usehead]

There have been increasing numbers of teenage girls in Singapore who see their counsellor to learn how to get their boyfriends to have sex with them.

Is this the end results of sex education? Effect of education as a whole in broadening the mind? Failure of education/upbringing to help them to cope with pressure and stress? Due to increasing stress in daily life? Change in sexuality in this modern days? Influence of TV? End of taboo? Or merely so-called peer pressure?

[yvonnefoong]

May I ask where did you get this information from?

[Hiliary]

maybe it means that Singaporean girls are more in touch with themselves or mature faster than boys, or the boys are just useless? maybe the ladies and the boys are getting all mixed up :eek:

[superdude11224]

Any reports off gurls like this in Malaysia? If yes I will be glad to counsel them on this :cool:

[Fabe18]

I recall reading it on staronline few days back... I think it's on the other dailies section..

[usehead]

Any reports off gurls like this in Malaysia? If yes I will be glad to counsel them on this :cool:

There must be some isolated cases which had been covered up. However, those could represent only the tip of an iceberg.

[AllUrban]

There have been increasing numbers of teenage girls in Singapore who see their counsellor to learn how to get their boyfriends to have sex with them.

Is this the end results of sex education? Effect of education as a whole in broadening the mind? Failure of education/upbringing to help them to cope with pressure and stress? Due to increasing stress in daily life? Change in sexuality in this modern days? Influence of TV? End of taboo? Or merely so-called peer pressure?Lots of questions and a little bit of fear ...

1) Sex education also includes education about safe sex and mature relationships. I guess it is worth asking if it is better for females to have sex in response to pressure from their 'boyfriends' who 'love' them - or to be in control of their own sexuality.

2) Teenage females are 1-2 years more mature than their male peers. It is also a general world wide trend that educators have been paying more attention to female students and this has resulted in improved marks for female students, increased university placement and increased ratio of females to males in the workplace.

3, 4) I think it is just the opposite. They have made a choice based on where they feel the "Singaporean woman" is in their society. You may also wish to consider government influences (baby & family bonus) and social pressures

5, 6, 7) Generally there has been a shift towards a more casual approach to sexuality, which is being influenced by popular culture and a lack of parental participation in the daily lives of the young.

8) As with all young people, the effect of peer pressure is always going to be strong - so the efforts of the parents, governments, counselors and resource personnel should be devoted to helping children make wise, safe choices and understand that some things are not cool.

As for Malaysia - Im sure that the issue is of even greater concern in Malaysia because of the following:

*lack of positive education on sexuality
*distorted 'love' maps (a 'love' map is a representation of a person's sexuality & relationships and what is considered 'appropriate' and inappropriate')
*immature attitude towards sexuality including sexual harassment, sexualized or mysogynistic (women-hating) comments (like the ones in parliament); and 'macho' attitudes;
*media hype about 'sex' (look at the 'most read/emailed' section or 'daily chilli' - or the front page of the Malay Mail!);
*general cultural fear of female sexuality;
*lack of community resources & social services.

anything else?

Cheers, m

[usehead]

Lots of questions and a little bit of fear ...

As for Malaysia - Im sure that the issue is of even greater concern in Malaysia because of the following:

*lack of positive education on sexuality
*distorted 'love' maps (a 'love' map is a representation of a person's sexuality & relationships and what is considered 'appropriate' and inappropriate')
*immature attitude towards sexuality including sexual harassment, sexualized or mysogynistic (women-hating) comments (like the ones in parliament); and 'macho' attitudes;
*media hype about 'sex' (look at the 'most read/emailed' section or 'daily chilli' - or the front page of the Malay Mail!);
*general cultural fear of female sexuality;
*lack of community resources & social services.

anything else?

Cheers, m

That is why we got pre-marriage course here to rectify things.

I never attend one because it was compulsory only for the Muslims.

Afterall, I guess it is kind of an extension of religious teachings about responsibility and sexuality.

Extension or revision??

[in]

There have been increasing numbers of teenage girls in Singapore who see their counsellor to learn how to get their boyfriends to have sex with them.
This could be because the girls do not want to lose thie bf's. They think that by having sex with their bf, the boy will will not stray and look for sex with other girls who are more willing.


That is why we got pre-marriage course here to rectify things. I never attend one because it was compulsory only for the Muslims.
Catholics who want to marry in church must also attend a pre-marriage course.

[AllUrban]

That is why we got pre-marriage course here to rectify things.

I never attend one because it was compulsory only for the Muslims.

Afterall, I guess it is kind of an extension of religious teachings about responsibility and sexuality.

Extension or revision??I thought Catholics were also expected to attend pre-marriage courses - not sure if it is coming down from the vatican or more local, at the diocese level.

Pre-marriage courses are a great idea - but so is sitting down and talking to your partner about your future together - and not to mention, sitting your children down and talking to them about responsibility, safety and healthy relationships.

Cheers, m

[lady-o-leisure]

Hi Yvonne... i think usehead was referring to an article.. http://www.dailychilli.com/news/3057-girl-15-consults-counselor-on-love-making-tips

[AllUrban]

This could be because the girls do not want to lose thie bf's. They think that by having sex with their bf, the boy will will not stray and look for sex with other girls who are more willing.A good reason why 'sex education' should focus on sexuality and relationships rather than just the mechanics of sexual intercourse.

Remember the 'no-panties on valentine's day to show your love' nonsense?

How is that in any way a reflection of love? It is a reflection of subservience and submissive behaviour.

Cheers, m

[usehead]

A good reason why 'sex education' should focus on sexuality and relationships rather than just the mechanics of sexual intercourse.

Cheers, m

Then who shall teach them the mechanic part of it?

[QuietStorm]

Then who shall teach them the mechanic part of it?Superdude11224? :p
Any reports off gurls like this in Malaysia? If yes I will be glad to counsel them on this :cool:

[AllUrban]

Then who shall teach them the mechanic part of it?It can be included in the curriculum but the focus should be on individual self-respect, sexuality & intimacy, and finally, healthy relationships.

Cheers, m

[Hiliary]

Then who shall teach them the mechanic part of it?

instinct :D

[usehead]

Curiosity which has been aggressively cultivated among the kids can be counterproductive.

When we focus on one aspect of the subject, they will be very curious and more interested in the 'side-lined' aspect.

I agree that we should start somewhere to enhance intra- and interpersonal intelligence among school-going children. They need to be aware of sexually transmitted diseases and the legal aspect of sexual harassment/abuse.

Perhaps lawyers are the best candidates to conduct classes on sex education in schools. First of all, they are serious in personality. Secondly, they are knowledgeable.

[Hiliary]

i am so happy i grew up in the late 60's early 70"s and was able to learn for myself without lawyers teachers telling me what to do :D :D :D

It must be really miserable being a teenager today

[bugbear]

Moral decadence or decay set in insidiously. It is not an over night thing but over a period of time. In the 60s, we do not have these type of problem but with the sexual revolution of the 70s till now, we can see great change in sexual behaviour among the young one. The relationship between moral decay and religious values is directly proportional. That is why, just having sex education in classes without the corresponding instilling of religious value will lead to more safe and regulated sex but not the behaviour of our young one. The situation in Singapore actually reflect this general tendency. In fact, when I read this article a few days ago, I was not too surprise. Singaporean are increasingly leading a modern lifestyle which eschew religious value. The same can be said of United State and most of the western world where increasingly so call subcultures are pushing into the main stream and is directly threatening good family institution and value. This trend is indeed worrying. :(

[AllUrban]

I've also heard that the increasing rate of crime is associated with social and moral decay and a good example of this is the idea that getting tattoos is ok and cool..................

:eek:

but that isn't true either.

methinks people were having sex in the 1960s as well as the 1860s - you just didnt hear about it as much. Society hasnt decayed morally as much as you think. What has happened is that people stopped paying attention to the actions of other people because it is none of their business.

It's good that you bring the religious argument into this topic as it is a good argument. To me, whatever arguments you choose (including the use of religious values or not), the whole point of this education has to be about self-respect, safety, mature, healthy relationships and intimacy.

Cheers, m

[Hiliary]

I've also heard that the increasing rate of crime is associated with social and moral decay and a good example of this is the idea that getting tattoos is ok and cool..................

:eek:

but that isn't true either.
Phew, relief, i have a tattoo :D

methinks people were having sex in the 1960s as well - you just didnt hear about it as much. Society hasnt decayed morally as much as you think. What has happened is that people stopped paying attention to the actions of other people because it is none of their business.

agree on all points

It's good that you bring the religious argument into this topic as it is a good argument. To me, whatever arguments you choose (including the use of religious values or not), the whole point of this education has to be about self-respect, safety, mature, healthy relationships and intimacy.

Things my mother tried to teach me, not learnt too well in my youth, but undertood today thanks to the one i call My Better Half for many many good reasons

Cheers, m

I have all daughters, sex education takes on a deeper meaning when you have daughters!!
In all things i have tried to teach common sense, an inquistive mind, action and reaction, cause and effect etc.
Unless a question shocks or scares me, i rarely give a direct answer to my girls, i prefer to make them think so they realise/understand the answer.

[bugbear]

I've also heard that the increasing rate of crime is associated with social and moral decay and a good example of this is the idea that getting tattoos is ok and cool..................

:eek:

but that isn't true either.

methinks people were having sex in the 1960s as well as the 1860s - you just didnt hear about it as much. Society hasnt decayed morally as much as you think. What has happened is that people stopped paying attention to the actions of other people because it is none of their business.

It's good that you bring the religious argument into this topic as it is a good argument. To me, whatever arguments you choose (including the use of religious values or not), the whole point of this education has to be about self-respect, safety, mature, healthy relationships and intimacy.

Cheers, m
A valid point. However, in the 60s, we will not hear of girls as young as 15-16 asking their counselor how to get their Bf into bed or how to organize a sex party. Some girls even have a contest on how many sex partners they have or how young they were when they lose their virginity.

What I see here just reaffirm my perception that nowadays, there are just no fear in the almighty in society anymore. What sadden me even more is that it involve girls in their early teens who should be getting an education in classes but doing something else.

Question is what are we doing about it? :(

[usehead]

According to Abraham Maslow, sex is a very basic need. So, when these girls reach their full potential of reproduction by puberty ( the average age for this have been shown getting lower and lower by the way ), and if they have been nurtured to be sharp and opportunistic, naturally they will proceed to bla...bla... bla kind of behaviour. This should be anticipated; not a surprise at all.

How about boys?

Are they lagging behind time? Any change in their sexual behaviour these days? Anyone has come across any article elaborating on this?

[aursong]

Guys/Boys/Men just has bit more other stuffs to play with compare to old times...

Video Games/TV/Cars/Football etc etc etc... instead of the hassle of what may come before and after having sex with the girls... other stuffs come with hassle free...

lol... :D :D :D

[usehead]

Guys/Boys/Men just has bit more other stuffs to play with compare to old times...

Video Games/TV/Cars/Football etc etc etc... instead of the hassle of what may come before and after having sex with the girls... other stuffs come with hassle free...

lol... :D :D :D

Yep, I can see that my boy is too immensed into Ben 10 world which is so deep and wide.

My my girl gets trap in the fantasy world of princesses and fairy tales.

[Hiliary]

:confused:
A valid point. However, in the 60s, we will not hear of girls as young as 15-16 asking their counselor how to get their Bf into bed or how to organize a sex party. Some girls even have a contest on how many sex partners they have or how young they were when they lose their virginity.

What I see here just reaffirm my perception that nowadays, there are just no fear in the almighty in society anymore. What sadden me even more is that it involve girls in their early teens who should be getting an education in classes but doing something else.

Question is what are we doing about it? :(

Really? There were counsellors in the 60's :eek:
I thought they were a more recent American invention ;)

[Hiliary]

I just had one of those eureka! memory moments :D

When i was about 13, none of my friends had to go to church so they would wait outside for me to come out. Of course making lots of noise and jumping up to look through the windows while waiting.
I tried every excuse and act i could think off to get out of going to church but nothing worked with my mother

Eventually i had a failsafe idea and borrowed a friends copy of Playboy, took it to Sunday school class and expected to be kicked out in double quick time

Well, the minister / teacher Alex did not bat an eyelid
He took the copy of Playboy, looked through a few pages and then told the group

"June looks so much better in the nude than any of the women in this magazine, and i get to see her in the nude every day of my life and no other man can say that about my woman"

Nobody giggled or spoke.
He continued

"Why would you want to look at these naked women when you will never know them, and many other people will see them. It is much better to wait, find a woman that excites you so much that you do not want to look at any other woman, that you love and then you, only you, can see her in the nude every day".

Well, i may have been young but what he said made an impression on me, more than any sex education morality teaching. Eventually i found that woman he described.

No need to go into how many or how long it took to find her :eek: ;) :D

[bugbear]

I just had one of those eureka! memory moments :D

When i was about 13, none of my friends had to go to church so they would wait outside for me to come out. Of course making lots of noise and jumping up to look through the windows while waiting.
I tried every excuse and act i could think off to get out of going to church but nothing worked with my mother

Eventually i had a failsafe idea and borrowed a friends copy of Playboy, took it to Sunday school class and expected to be kicked out in double quick time

Well, the minister / teacher Alex did not bat an eyelid
He took the copy of Playboy, looked through a few pages and then told the group

"June looks so much better in the nude than any of the women in this magazine, and i get to see her in the nude every day of my life and no other man can say that about my woman"

Nobody giggled or spoke.
He continued

"Why would you want to look at these naked women when you will never know them, and many other people will see them. It is much better to wait, find a woman that excites you so much that you do not want to look at any other woman, that you love and then you, only you, can see her in the nude every day".

Well, i may have been young but what he said made an impression on me, more than any sex education morality teaching. Eventually i found that woman he described.

No need to go into how many or how long it took to find her :eek: ;) :D
You are spot on with that recall of your memory and I too have similar experience too. What happen to those who wait for their partner and eventually met them later in life? Is it not worth waiting for? What happen to all those value of self and dignity and chastity? Are they just a figment of our imagination? What different is there between a human and an animal nowadays? They both behave in their basic level instinct when it comes to sex. To me the only different between human and animal is the ability of the human to believe in a living God and the fear of God.

[Hiliary]

You are spot on with that recall of your memory and I too have similar experience too. What happen to those who wait for their partner and eventually met them later in life? Is it not worth waiting for? What happen to all those value of self and dignity and chastity? Are they just a figment of our imagination? What different is there between a human and an animal nowadays? They both behave in their basic level instinct when it comes to sex. To me the only different between human and animal is the ability of the human to believe in a living God and the fear of God.

What that man said has stayed with me eversince, i would like to meet him one more time and tell him but i have no idea where he is on this earth, maybe no longer as he would be at least 86 by now.

I do admit to being basic :o in the past but i can honestly say finding the right person is like being hit on the head by a ton of bricks, a real eye opener, the loudest alarm bell wake up call etc. A very pleasant shock :D

[AllUrban]

I just had one of those eureka! memory moments :D

When i was about 13, none of my friends had to go to church so they would wait outside for me to come out. Of course making lots of noise and jumping up to look through the windows while waiting.
I tried every excuse and act i could think off to get out of going to church but nothing worked with my mother

Eventually i had a failsafe idea and borrowed a friends copy of Playboy, took it to Sunday school class and expected to be kicked out in double quick time

Well, the minister / teacher Alex did not bat an eyelid
He took the copy of Playboy, looked through a few pages and then told the group

"June looks so much better in the nude than any of the women in this magazine, and i get to see her in the nude every day of my life and no other man can say that about my woman"

Nobody giggled or spoke.
He continued

"Why would you want to look at these naked women when you will never know them, and many other people will see them. It is much better to wait, find a woman that excites you so much that you do not want to look at any other woman, that you love and then you, only you, can see her in the nude every day".

Well, i may have been young but what he said made an impression on me, more than any sex education morality teaching. Eventually i found that woman he described.

No need to go into how many or how long it took to find her :eek: ;) :Da very interesting message about values.

Cheers, m