Humbled by a New-Found Friend....bickering parts

[lilifjp]

To all those people who intend to flame people....

Please state in your reply how many old folks are staying in your household now before you scold another human being in this forum.

My household have my mom - 63 years old staying with us. :p

[maurice lim]

To all those people who intend to flame people....

Please state in your reply how many old folks are staying in your household now before you scold another human being in this forum.

My household have my mom - 63 years old staying with us. :p

63 years old is old? :confused:

[lilifjp]

Hi Maurice,

So you feel the chili padi lah :D

Both my grandparents died long long time ago. Where to find older folks ? :rolleyes:

Hey, young cutie guy. Don't tell me you are among all those people who are living outside to enjoy yr freedom and leave your parents at home ? In Hometown ?

Maybe, you are just a weekend son and a full time free-lancer :confused:

[maurice lim]

Hi Maurice,

So you feel the chili padi lah :D

Both my grandparents died long long time ago. Where to find older folks ? :rolleyes:

Hey, young cutie guy. Don't tell me you are among all those people who are living outside to enjoy yr freedom and leave your parents at home ? In Hometown ?

Maybe, you are just a weekend son and a full time free-lancer :confused:

What are you babbling about?

[lilifjp]

This note is specifically for Maurice Lim,

Why don't you stop babbling about unconditional love yourself ?

Why don't you own up and declare how you many grand pa or grand ma or people whom you have showered your unconditional love to ?

Cakap tak serupa bikin. :mad:

[maurice lim]

This note is specifically for Maurice Lim,

Why don't you stop babbling about unconditional love yourself ?

Why don't you own up and declare how you many grand pa or grand ma or people whom you have showered your unconditional love to ?

Cakap tak serupa bikin. :mad:

You don't know me. So please don't assume. :)

[lilifjp]

63 years old is old? :confused:

In Malaysia, the Department of Social Welfare defines the “old people” category as ‘people with age within the range of 60 years and above’.

This categorization scheme is standardized in accordance to the definition stated during the “World Assembly On Aging In 1982, in Vienna (1).

The above general knowledge shows how limited your actual knowledge on this issue.

For further reading pleasure, please check Her World magazine, June 2008 issue on page 82, there is a story about a caretaker of a nursing home in PJ.

[maurice lim]

The above general knowledge shows how limited your actual knowledge on this issue.

Yes. I think you are right. My knowledge is actually very limited. What to do when I was born not very intelligent and whatever low intellect I possessed diminishes with age? *Sigh*

[HAN2]

Yes. I think you are right. My knowledge is actually very limited. What to do when I was born not very intelligent and whatever low intellect I possessed diminishes with age? *Sigh*

OMG Maurice, a PhD like you come down to our level.... you are one humble guy!I don't even know how to tabek you with Latin... and I don't know Latin lah... anyway TABEK!

[maurice lim]

OMG Maurice, a PhD like you come down to our level.... you are one humble guy!I don't even know how to tabek you with Latin... and I don't know Latin lah... anyway TABEK!

Han2. Don't be like that la. :)

Pepsi. Go watch Wanted (2008 movie). It gives a whole new meaning to dodging bullets.

[maurice lim]

Hi Maurice,
Hey, young cutie guy. Don't tell me you are among all those people who are living outside to enjoy yr freedom and leave your parents at home ? In Hometown ?

Maybe, you are just a weekend son and a full time free-lancer :confused:

Ya. So take me out of the room and beat the hell out of me for daring to talk about unconditional love. What do I know? Ya ya ya. All love comes with conditions. la.

[kwchang]

Some of you have nothing better to do but bicker on the net :mad:

[kwchang]

OK, this batch of arguements have been extracted from the original thread.

You are all welcome to participate in the bickering session if you want .... I need to ban all the people on the Forum who have nothing better to do than to bicker, you just need to give me the excuse to exercise that ;) :mad:

[kwchang]

I have received explanations from lilifjp

Basicaly, she was annoyed by Maurice's comments about "unconditional love" and not listening to the counter view that sometimes the old folks do get on the nerves of the children. This issue of problematic old folks had been highlighted by other members in the original thread. Therefore lilifjp questioned Maurice regarding his opinions on living with old folks because it appeared that he wasn't looking at the alternative situation.

Unfortunately for lilifjp, she did not clarify herself and sounded awkward with her questions. Basically, this is the problem with commentaries made on a Forum - without the body language and vocal nuances, we can easily misunderstand the actual message and what resulted was unnecessary bickerings. Unfortunately for lilifjp, she had to receive a banana purely on the objective surface view of the comments made.

[lilifjp]

Dear Maurice Lim,

I view this section of the moderation thread as a venue to defend and explain myself.

I was trying to ask you (Maurice Lim) to give me a real life example from your statement….


No need to go to extremes. How many forum members here who actually and genuniely take good care of their old parents? That is, to treat them with dignity, respect and patience as well as to contribute in monetary terms to them? I stress on the word 'genuniely with love'. No rhetorics and armchair critics, please.

I was very irritated with your above statements. I believe positively that there are many forummers in usj.com.my that are responsible and taking care of their aging parents or grandparents at this moment. Your sweeping remarks have offended me because you are assuming that many middle age people are irresponsible and chucking old parents on the streets. And forcing these old folks to seek employment at old age.

I have already been punished and put in detention in the banana plantation. I do not want the moderator to have a tough job - fellow forummers thinking that he is one sided. I accept the banana punishment. I have high respect for the moderator of this forum.

I realized only later that I have put myself in an akward position with my incomplete questions. Since the way you keeping writing on unconditional love, I misunderstood that you are a young man that are still staying with your parents and earning your salary all for yourself. From your Avatar, I assume you are a man, a young man, maybe with a few years of working experience. I have never met you or Mr Han2.

[lilifjp]

Dear Han2,

I find the comment on your statements on the Thread "Humbled by a New-Found Friend….bickering parts" - Too harsh and I was hit by the bullet, I am wounded and I am hurt.

I want to clarify that I did not intentionally insult anyone on the mix marriage thread. I was trying to say a group of husbands are workaholic. If I remember correctly, you (Mr Han2) was not in that thread and did not leave any comment on that thread. But by reading that thread alone, you (Mr Han2) have wrongly misunderstood me - thinking that I, (lilifjp) is Pro-Indian and Anti-Chinese. I am not a racist person. I am a fun loving person in my daily life. Perhaps, some of my views are strong and have touched the sentiments of certain people until they are angry. I offer no apology, because I never meant to hurt anyone.

My comments in the mix marriage thread is to share my point of view and I hope that there are more husbands that will still be romantic with their wife after marriage. And from my personal experience, in that thread, I share something about child birth.

I am trying to encourage more husbands to be there for their wife during important phase in life especially child birth. We all assume that things will be fine and in Malaysia there are low death during child birth.

But from my own experience on this issue, things might go wrong and there might be ; stillborn babies, emergency deliveries, babies born with birth defects etc. I want to let some of you know that it is important that you forget about the office work and to be with your wife at that important times especially child birth.

After the long explanation above, if you still feel that I am Pro-Indian and Anti-Chinese, then I need not explain any further. If a fellow forummer can be so angry with me on this thread alone, I feel very tired trying to defend myself each time a new issue arises and different forummer will flame me and dig out “a section” of an old thread.

The above explanation is just to defend myself and has no other hidden agenda. No one need to agree with me and no one need to bullet me either.

[lilifjp]

Abortion Thread

Even in the abortion thread there are some misunderstandings. Many people insist on pro-choice and I seems to be at a losing war for anti-abortion.

A lot of you are assuming that I am pro-life, I am a NGO, I am a too free super rich lady, maybe 80 years old and have nothing better to do.

I want to clarify that I am actually very busy. I have no title. I am not pro-choice and I cannot qualify for pro-life either. I have no medical background. I want to hear the actual feeling and actual story of the pregnant girl or the pregnant woman.

Unfortunately, I am soft hearted, and I feel extremely sad for rape victims that I do not know what to think. I also feel extremely sad for middle age pregnant woman that are pregnant with babies with deformities. Again, I am soft hearted and I do not know what to think.

I am a simple woman who can apply for leave, drive and pick up the pregnant woman. Make sure she deliver her baby safely. Pay for some medical bills and food. And I hope that everyone is safe and move on with no regrets in their life. I also spend time to pick up donated baby clothes, maternity clothes, toys etc. I want to clarify that no one in this forum gave me any money or I did not accept any money donation from any of you for the past two years.

In fact, I got really upset receiving threatening phone calls to pay RM10,000 for one baby and some one demanded RM30,000 to surrender a baby boy to me.

I want to clarify that I do not pay anyone anything. Medicals bills are paid directly to the clinic. I will not bank in any money to anyone.

[lilifjp]

Banning lilifjp.

Some one suggested banning me from this forum. I take that statement very seriously.

I think I have tried my best. I have thought about things for two days. I am very tired.

Quote : "I still remember one old thread where a forumer (the same one as above??) claimed only Indian husbands were willing to sleep on the hospital floor when their wives deliver their babies while Chinese husbands just ask "boy or girl?" and go back to work? That thread was also closed!

Why is it when this lilifjp does all these bickering you shut down the thread? Why can't you banana her or ban her if she continue to be so ******?"


No need to take the trouble to ban me. I am leaving. I am leaving because there are a minium of two people who wants lilifjp to be banned. I shall banish myself in self exile. I will not come back again with a new avatar or a new nickname.

I think the person who started this forum did a very tremendous and good job. I think the people are mostly caring.

But I really got no time to read back my old old postings and then try to defend myself.

I have disabled the PM too.

[coleslaw]

lili, you ,like everyone here, is entitled to voice yr thoughts/opinions. so don't bow to any pressure to curb it. but like chang said, some times, what is posted can be misconstrued, depending very much on the tone of the person reading it.
i'm not very IT savvy but knows enough to say, there are some who have multiple nicks on the forum. to the extend, they are actually having a one way conversation on the threads they posted.
so when you say there are calls for you to be banned, could it be it the same one and only person?
unless you are spewing venom and profanities, i don't see why you should be banned.

[coleslaw]

you have also clarified what went wrong with your postings..
it happened some times, when our train of thoughts does not come out the way we want to..
to me, it just like giving directions to someone(over the phone), we just assumed that the person knows what we are talking about, when he/she is totally clueless!!

[orchipalar]

Dear lilifjp...Orchi has been in this forum long enough to say...99% of the forumers n readers here appreciate your sacrifices...immense contributions to this forum...n your steadfast dedication to help out the lost souls outside of the forum...

Orchi for one would be very sad if you decide to leave...especially when the issue arose from a misunderstanding...

Please reconsider to stay...

[Vixey]

Lili, you are feeling very emotional now and drained from needing to clarify your intentions and statements. Trust me, when this blows over you will realize that the decision to put yourself in self-exile isn't the right thing to do.

Remember what we talked about over the phone the other day? Its not going to help if you leave. Think with your head and not your heart. Think of the number of young women who will be deprived of your care and concern.

I am pretty sure that after the abortion thread was started, anyone googling for help would have stumbled on it. Even if they didn't post, they would have read the comments and the advice.

At the very least, for the desperate, the confused, they would know there is someone out there who cares to listen and to help them make the best decision for their lives. Think of those girls.

In my opinion, misconstrued online forum posts is too trivial a reason to close an avenue where you could genuinely be of help to someone. Misunderstandings will always happen, and there will always be someone or two who do not like your online personality.

Who cares!

Just move on and don't let it bring you down.

[pepsi]

Lili, get over it and move on...Why do you need to self exile ?
Everyone are adults here, if we chose to be engaged in a debate, be prepared to be riddled by bullets because not everyone shares the same opinion about something.
If you self exile you will deprive yourself and everyone here of your contribution and feedback.
Save your energy another day for another good debate.

p/s -word of advise...think in terms of debate not personal fights or bicker or arguments. You won't get drag into taking everything personally ....
It's nothing personal. :)

[kwchang]

...No need to take the trouble to ban me. I am leaving. I am leaving because there are a minium of two people who wants lilifjp to be banned. I shall banish myself in self exile. I will not come back again with a new avatar or a new nickname..
Well, what can I say to lilifjp? If lili remains steadfast on her stand, then we have lost a very valuable social contributor. Han2 and Maurice may not have followed her contributions to the community and thus acted negatively towards her comments on an impulse. The impulsive knee-jerks are very destructive.

Sometimes, it is the unsaid and undiscussed parts that tip the balance. All I can say is that there was a misunderstanding and she took it hard on some thoughtless comment.

I get these "reports" once in awhile via messages from members - and advice to get rid of some members because the others cannot take their corrosive comments. Then I go check on their threads and posts and find no bad comments. Yes, I do check but unfortunately, I do not always find all the reports of offensive commentary to be true. This is because the complainant might have read specific comments at a different angle and take immediate offense.

As I had said before, some arguements in the forum are due to misunderstandings. This is because the written text can be read in different context. Sometimes a reader with prejudiced ideas would read a fairly straight-forward comment in a negative view.

If I had reacted to each and every complaint, a lot of people would be banned. I try to act objectively and take everyone at the same value. I try my best to act objectively but in some cases I fail. Perhaps lili's decision would not have been so drastic if there was no banana? If that was the case, then I tender my apologies to her and the community for causing her to leave.

However, lili did say Maurice and Han2 had offended her with their latest comments. Perhaps they too should tender their apologies for the misunderstanding?

This however has nothing to do with the abortion thread
I feel that lili is not being fair to herself for all the work she has done in our Forum helping all the young people who had made mistakes. She has also left our problem kids with no avenue to ask for help through our Forum. However, I do not want to put our Forum on the pedestal. I am sure Lili is also continuing to help via other similar channels. I know God will be with her for her selfless contributions. And I hope God will guide her back to our Forum to continue her good work.

Do come back lili, I do not see why someone doing good work would volunteer to leave while others who cause heartaches through their unthoughtful comments remain to argue another day .... :mad:

[HTCHONG]

Banning lilifjp.

.......No need to take the trouble to ban me. I am leaving. I am leaving because there are a minium of two people who wants lilifjp to be banned. I shall banish myself in self exile. I will not come back again with a new avatar or a new nickname......

lilifjp, don't take it too hard..it is just a forum and there are different voices everywhere.

Sometimes, for a short break of my works, I will turn to this forum to "enjoy" their arguments...... :D

[HAN2]

Well, what can I say to lilifjp? If lili remains steadfast on her stand, then we have lost a very valuable social contributor. Han2 and Maurice may not have followed her contributions to the community and thus acted negatively towards her comments on an impulse. The impulsive knee-jerks are very destructive.



Hey Chang, by all means be a moderator but please do not be a judge too... I did not see all these postings earlier, only today. I stood by what I have written especially the part on "Chinese husbands don't sleep on the hospital floor" part... and who are you to come and tell me I am wrong in my views?

[HAN2]

Do come back lili, I do not see why someone doing good work would volunteer to leave while others who cause heartaches through their unthoughtful comments remain to argue another day .... :mad:

And you call yourself a fair moderator? Taking sides and making comments like this?