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trajet
05-04-2007, 08:00 AM
Hi,
I'm newbie here! Actually I've been a visitor here for a long time and only today I've the courage to register. This is due to the posting : 'I have found my father part 2' by jwoo. The postings really'wake me up' and I'm happy for him to be able to find his relatives/siblings.

Dear forumers,
Would like your opinions and suggestions. My problem: How to find my real biological parents?

I know I'm adopted since I'm a kid and longing to find my real parents. I don't have a clue eg their names,where thay came from . My mother and late father never tell me about them athough I always asked them. They said that they already treated me like their own child, so why should I want to find my biological parents? I just want to know who they are and my sibblings. Nowadays, it's important to know esp. the medical history.

But sometimes, I feel sad because they gave me away and afraid that I've brought them bad luck (that's why they gave me away). Also, I feel that they just don't want to know me and already forgotten me. If they still remember me, they must've been searching for me. But deep inside me, I'm still eager to know them and celebrate new year with them.

last year, I've asked someone who has the ability to see 'things' and according to him, my parents live in Air Molek or Durian Daun. I've already be asking around in Air Molek but failed.

So, should I continue to search in Durian Daun or contact the MCA?

Sorry for the long writing. Thanks

ng
05-04-2007, 08:25 AM
I understand your feelings but you should also have some understanding of your adopted mother. She spend her life giving love and money to you, and she is afraid of losing you.

Maybe you should ease her fears and gently ask her where you were born. That should at least give you some clue.

Don;t be too direct cause she is afraid of losing you.

Life Ranger
05-04-2007, 09:03 AM
Trajet, go and find your biological family by all means. Your adopted family should help by providing you with whatever info available. This is all about humanity.

LMei
05-04-2007, 10:14 AM
I have a question. When one gets adopted, does this mean your parents' names will be changed in your birth certificate?

Maybe you can start from your place of birth? Any hospital records or things like that?

trajet
05-04-2007, 10:19 AM
I don't have any clues. Name totally change 'coz follow the adopted family. I don't have the heart to ask my mother now, she's too sensitive, too secretive. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Anybody from those 2 places? Can help me to ask around?

emw
05-04-2007, 11:19 AM
Trajet, if your birth certificate doesn't state your birth parents, you can try to ask someone close to your parents what they remember about your adoption. if they remember the hospital you were born in, you might be able to trace the records from there.

Also, old family friends may even remember the circumstances in detail and provide you with the info you need. Ask them about the kampung or area your birth mother came from, and start from there.

I think your parents are probably worried you'll leave them once you find your blood relations. I agree you need to find out your medical history, but I can also see their point. You'll have to do a lot of reassuring! Perhaps if you tell them you need to know about inherited medical problems they'll feel more reassured?

Finally, do take care of yourself and don't set your hopes too high. People who give up their babies often have complicated lives. I have two friends who traced their birth parents. Mervin in Scotland discovered his mum was a druggie who didn't even remember having him. She had been just 14 at the time. My friend in Malacca found her birth parents living two streets away from her, and they simply told her she had given them bad luck and showed her the door. Oh, I also have friend here who traced the father who abandoned them when she was little. When she found him he demanded her savings and when she refused he disappeared again.

Do be careful of people who "see" connections. If they see for free, OK but if they start to ask for Ringgit for seeing, it's a con. You're vulnerable so be suspicious.

Good luck!
Ellen

trajet
05-04-2007, 12:23 PM
Thanks Ellen,

Yes, U're right.Last time I tried to ask around but my parents are too secretive, they pretend that I'm their biological. Last time when my grandma passed away, I do heard someone saying that I'm adopted but I'm just too embarassed to ask back.

As you told about your freinds, I'm afraid that I might be abandoned or bringing the bad luck too. So.......dilema.