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USJ27Resident
02-06-2006, 04:13 AM
Now tell me the truth... can a person just fall OUT of love with another person. No third party, no interference, no nothing... the love just dies... and no more interest/magic in the relationship !!

Btw - just helping a friend out here with this problem... if you guys were wondering... :p

So, your take - please...

arbiter
02-06-2006, 09:15 AM
LOL!! Nope...not likely. Unless your fren has third party, has interference, has something out of nothin'! :D

Or else it was not luv in the start, something else. Or is your fren hoping for undyin' romance all the time? Cannot la, romance dont last for ever, reality sets in after a while. Even if not luv you mean, after some period of time being together, luv can cultivate between 2 people.

If suddenly one says I don't luv you any longer, than i think something must have triggerred that. Maybe boredom? Maybe outside the relationship your fren is seing better stuff and is comparing?

You better advice your fren to leave the relationship since he or she not sure and give the other person a break. Freedom! to find someone else that is sure of a commitment.

My wife and I have gone tru a lot of hurdles. 3rd party, money, family the inlaw and outlaw, but we still stick together. We know we have luved and have come this far and we will never stop luving each other.

We can fight till all the cows come home but at the end of the day we still cannot live without each other. :D that's luv........

Your fren must be a confuse person. Can ask him to take a holiday to clear his head first.

Firefly
02-06-2006, 09:20 AM
It really depends on how it started in the first place.

Did the relationship start on a rebound? Rebound as in one party just had a breakup and the other party just happends to be along...
Did the relationship started on physical attraction, Lust, "short gun" or what?

Please remember that Love can be defined in many ways and have many meanings.

arbiter
02-06-2006, 09:23 AM
Then USJResident's fren shouldn't call that 'fallin' out of luv' in the first place because he or she needs to 'fall in luv' first then 'fall out of luv'. I know has many meanings. I know. :D :D :D

LOL! has anyone wondered why they use the word 'FALL' in n 'FALL' out?

ccek
02-06-2006, 09:23 AM
Now tell me the truth... can a person just fall OUT of love with another person. No third party, no interference, no nothing... the love just dies... and no more interest/magic in the relationship !!

Btw - just helping a friend out here with this problem... if you guys were wondering... :p

So, your take - please...
I think this can happen....If in relationship for too long without getting married, the love will dies....

arbiter
02-06-2006, 09:27 AM
I think this can happen....If in relationship for too long without getting married, the love will dies....

Maybe this happens mostly to young people. MOSTLY. More matured people are more sure of what they want, they know what commitment is. I'm just sayin' this if like what USJResident said, no third party and no interference.

Firefly
02-06-2006, 09:29 AM
That's a possibility. But you also need to look inside that relationship. That brings to mind another question...Why is it that we can have buddies where we can talk , share and have good fellowship without having to fall out of it? Is that not called relationship as well?

added.. reply to ccek.

arbiter
02-06-2006, 09:33 AM
Buddies luv different level. We don't need to share a bed with buddies and make a family or become one.

CCY
02-06-2006, 09:39 AM
Most probably there are cumulative unresolved , then 'tolerated' incidences over a period of time when they are in the 'fall in' and it just need a minor incident to trigger the tipover to 'fall out'.
Or the body chemical may have play havoc in this case.

arbiter
02-06-2006, 09:42 AM
Most probably there are cumulative unresolved , then 'tolerated' incidences over a period of time when they are in the 'fall in' and it just need a minor incident to trigger the tipover to 'fall out'.
Or the body chemical may have play havoc in this case.

Wise thinkin' there. But luv should still be there. Every relationship has troubles. The question is can USJ's fren 'fall out' completely?

Firefly
02-06-2006, 09:43 AM
Having mention that, should you not treat a relationship as a buddy as well? If you are not treating it as a buddy, then where is the communications in the relationship? ( Sharing the bed is only an added bonus :D ) (not talking of brokeback mountain)

arbiter
02-06-2006, 09:46 AM
Having mention that, should you not treat a relationship as a buddy as well? If you are not treating it as a buddy, then where is the communications in the relationship? ( Sharing the bed is only an added bonus :D ) (not talking of brokeback mountain)

Some things my wifey don tell me and she has good buddies where she hangs out with. Same same here. But buddies I don luv them la. But I don hate them either. :D

sherrygin
02-06-2006, 09:56 AM
I think two persons can definitely fall out of love after a period of time. Being in a relationship takes hard work but during the course of time, we tend to forget the little things that make a relationship special. We are also too distracted with many things that surround us - kids, career, money, etc.

The passion has sizzled out and that is where they have to work at it. Sometimes, we just assume that our partner should know that we love him/her but we do not express our love enough. We tend to take things for granted, which we should never do.

I am sure that USJ27resident's friends still love each other - love doesn't die overnight, it probably has shifted to a different kind of love. At the end of the day, it all depends on what works for them. Are they satisfied with this kind of love? Or is the lack of passion (or magic) the problem?

The first step for the said couple to do is to sit down and talk.

arbiter
02-06-2006, 10:04 AM
I am sure that USJ27resident's friends still love each other - love doesn't die overnight, it probably has shifted to a different kind of love. At the end of the day, it all depends on what works for them. Are they satisfied with this kind of love? Or is the lack of passion (or magic) the problem?

The first step for the said couple to do is to sit down and talk.

This is good.

KakiLang
02-06-2006, 10:49 AM
Fall out of love becoz there r no sparks & excitement?? I think u shud go bk & look at ur relationship, there were promises made to ur partner & urself, there were also good times u shared with ur partner, dun just simply leave ur partner just like abondoning ur car becoz it's ran out of gas lar... :) :D

Firefly
02-06-2006, 10:54 AM
Where is that thread .... the one where the guy tells the wife want to seperate then she say give 1 month..made him to carry her and so on..?? :confused:

arbiter
02-06-2006, 03:26 PM
Where is that thread .... the one where the guy tells the wife want to seperate then she say give 1 month..made him to carry her and so on..?? :confused:

What and why in the world must carry for 1 whole month?? Are you kiddin? :confused:

Firefly
02-06-2006, 04:23 PM
What and why in the world must carry for 1 whole month?? Are you kiddin? :confused:

The story is like this....Please read (http://ajsb.blogs.friendster.com/index/2006/03/when_you_divorc.html) Please do not paste into this again.

arbiter
03-06-2006, 12:46 AM
The story is like this....Please read (http://ajsb.blogs.friendster.com/index/2006/03/when_you_divorc.html) Please do not paste into this again.

I see. That is a heart arousing, good story. Good for those who are on the verge of breaking from a relationship and for those who are long into it and needs a 'recharge'.

jianwei85
04-06-2006, 03:27 AM
A person can fall out of love if there is LACK of communication between partners..(brokeback counted a? :D )

Therefore,
a) Get more out of daily interactions between Bf/Gf or Husband/Wife.

b) Take the initiative to know each other even more.

c) Share more common interests.

d) Be faithful. and no 3rd parties.

e) Be frank and selective when conversing.

USJ27Resident
04-06-2006, 03:47 AM
A person can fall out of love if there is LACK of communication between partners..(brokeback counted a? :D )

Therefore,
a) Get more out of daily interactions between Bf/Gf or Husband/Wife.

b) Take the initiative to know each other even more.

c) Share more common interests.

d) Be faithful. and no 3rd parties.

e) Be frank and selective when conversing.

Fuiiiiiyoh!!!! If I had not met this young fella at the last TT session, reading the above would have given me the impression that he was related to Obi-wan Kenobi... oh well, just mebbe..." the force is strong with this one... " :p

jianwei85
04-06-2006, 03:56 AM
USJ27Resident:
yala..i tried 2 generalize le..based on my 'newbie-ness' in relationships.. hahahaha

but dun u think the major reason for falling out of love is communication problems or lack of it?

p/s: I prefer Luke Skywalker to Obi Wan la.. :D

arbiter
04-06-2006, 12:30 PM
but dun u think the major reason for falling out of love is communication problems or lack of it?


still in de same subject dudes? I think is possible. People can get really boring if they don't talk to each other. No common interest and nothing common to share and de onli time they talk is about kids money kids money in laws out laws kids money. For me that's life. But luv will be there no matter what. Just my 0.5 sen.

USJ27Resident
08-06-2006, 12:29 AM
USJ27Resident:
yala..i tried 2 generalize le..based on my 'newbie-ness' in relationships.. hahahaha

but dun u think the major reason for falling out of love is communication problems or lack of it?

p/s: I prefer Luke Skywalker to Obi Wan la.. :D

Yup... prefer Luke Skywalker but sound like Obiwan-Kenobi - howla... ?? But on hindsight, your communication skill for your "newbie-ness in relationships" would be better if you were like Obiwan..no? :p

As to my initial question posed: I have also found out something else that can make a person fall out of a relationship thus ending the feelings and emotional bonds... it is personal characteristics that only the other person can see... and mind you, the negative characteristics can be very glaring from the others' point of view... ( ie calculative, self centred etc etc... )

jianwei85
08-06-2006, 01:48 AM
sigh..now my gf in scotland..so guess a person could just fall out of love..
mayb i'll keep u updated in a few months time.. :)

orchipalar
08-06-2006, 07:16 AM
Err..."Ochi-wan..."

"Yes Master..."

Ahem..."sorry to digress...but the force is indeed strong with this one..."...err..."Master Alexius thinks so too..."

"Yes Master...since his g/f is far away for some time...we are thinking of sending him to be trained Master...but whom might you suggest should train him Master..."

Err..."Hmmm...since Master Alexius has discovered his force n great potential...perhaps we should get Master Alexius to train him sooner..."

"Yes Master...so it shall be...Orchi-wan would summon Master Alexius to the next TT session to begin the trainings...hmmm...a wiser n strong Jedi knight...Jianwei to be very soon...ahem...before his g/f returns...may the force with her too..."

Ahem..."so it shall be...Orchi-wan...may the force be with you too..."

PeNNyPupZ
08-06-2006, 11:32 AM
hmmmm........ i did... but i didn't handle it the right way causing the other party to go berserk and was really mentally ill for quite some time.. crazy ppl..

handyman
08-06-2006, 11:51 AM
hmmmm........ i did... but i didn't handle it the right way causing the other party to go berserk and was really mentally ill for quite some time.. crazy ppl..

an advice fr an old man. u should not think em as crazy ppl if u think u hv not handled it right.

to all. stay smarter n do not lead others into believing ur love could last for-ever. do not play with fire.

AllUrban
08-06-2006, 12:20 PM
There's a lady I met 2 years ago when I was in Japan for an exchange program.

The program was fun and exciting...3 weeks of fun and activities...young 20-somethings with free money and 5* hotel rooms in the centre of Tokyo and Osaka (courtesy of the Japanese Government). Of course a lot of friendships of many different sorts and levels were formed.

I was falling out of love with my gf of the time, and things were just not good...but this lady and I got thrown together alot

This lady became a special friend in a special way but not crossing the line. I suppose I thought that in another time and universe (a long time ago in a galaxy far far away) we might have been together.

Now this lady wants to come to Malaysia....and visit me

What would you do in such a situation?

Cheers, m

sherrygin
08-06-2006, 12:31 PM
Welcome her to Malaysia! :)

Let her know subtly that you already have a gf now (correct me if I am wrong) but you would love for her to visit you. As a friend.

PeNNyPupZ
08-06-2006, 03:25 PM
yeah but dont comment like that when you dont know the whole thing :P

tupai
08-06-2006, 06:31 PM
Falling outta love???
Different pple handle it differently...e.g. 1 party celebrates, the other sinks into a dark hole or worst, maybe even attempts to end his/her miserable no-meaning-life, thereafter without the other not-so-happenin'soul-mate' :confused:

Me? Easy lah...
I'll do a suicide jump off the kawarau bridge and instantly fall 44metre outta luv...all in mere seconds :D

tandem jump anyone? :D :D

Yang Akan Baling dari jambatan lato tupai

Sasha
08-06-2006, 11:34 PM
It all depends on how you define 'love' in your own mind. What you expect and think 'love' is, what the other person thinks 'love' is, may not be the same.
"How" you love the other person, and whether it changes over time, might determine if you can or have fallen out of love. Maybe you expect something from him/her, but after a while you feel you arent getting it or feeling it anymore, then you think those feelings you had are gone.... thus, you feel you have fallen out of love.

USJ27Resident
09-06-2006, 02:22 AM
There's a lady I met 2 years ago when I was in Japan for an exchange program.

Now this lady wants to come to Malaysia....and visit me

What would you do in such a situation?

Cheers, m

You lucky fella you.... she travelled all the way here , to see you - you take her out, buy her dinner, show her the sights and sounds, and tell her u oso have gf here (on the quiet, and pray darn hard - she dun smack you !! btw, she's japanese - no? then - just make sure she's got no samurai sword or knives nearby, or she's not related to any Yakuza clan :eek: otherwise - you in deep trouble fren... ) :p

And before I forget - if you don't take her out for dinner - I'd knock-ed some Zen(se) into your head too... :p :D

lilifjp
14-06-2006, 03:16 PM
AllUrban, I think you should advise the lady not to come to Malaysia.

Don't break anyone's heart & waste time if there is no hope :cool:

alexhay
14-06-2006, 03:25 PM
maybe the girl coming to malaysia to visit him as a friend. M, had you told the girl that you already had a girlfriend. if yes, then bring your gf out together. make sure that you have nothing to hide.

to me, trust is very important in a relationship...so go for it...ask her come, bring her to our TT session and pool session...

Firefly
14-06-2006, 03:42 PM
Bring GF along..do not hide anything.

AllUrban
14-06-2006, 04:04 PM
Ive never left any broken hearts in my wake....and I dont intend to start :p
Heheheheh I dont leave broken hearts behind...but I sure am causing international trouble :p

It was in Japan that I fell out of love with my gf of the time...part of it was the distance but there were other reasons...the distance...amplified these reasons..........

So if you see things start to change, and you know that distance will bring you further apart than instead of actually becoming closer...then you know you're falling out of love.


Bring GF along..do not hide anything.Yeah, ive no intention of hiding anything...no point in keeping secrets or tellings lies to myself, or others....


....M, had you told the girl that you already had a girlfriend. if yes, then bring your gf out together. make sure that you have nothing to hide.

to me, trust is very important in a relationship...so go for it...ask her come, bring her to our TT session and pool session...I havent heard anything to this point from my friend...can keep you updated tho :p I'll bring them both to TT and pool session...all y'all try to figure out who's the gf and who's the other woman :D

What matters is what I have here.....and if I can finish what has started here...thats a whole other can of worms Ive opened up..... :)

cheers, m

alexhay
14-06-2006, 04:15 PM
psstt....u better tell me who is your gf so i wont hit on her :p :p :p

lilifjp
14-06-2006, 04:37 PM
AllUrban, you must be very handsome & charming for a Japanese girl to fly all the way to see you. :)

alexhay
14-06-2006, 04:42 PM
lili...join us for TT session, then u will know how handsome is he ;)

Firefly
14-06-2006, 04:48 PM
Not saying you have anything to hide but sometimes a gal can be lead on with no intension of yours.

USJ27Resident
15-06-2006, 01:01 AM
maybe the girl coming to malaysia to visit him as a friend. M, had you told the girl that you already had a girlfriend. if yes, then bring your gf out together. make sure that you have nothing to hide....

Dang! :eek: don't even think about it... bring your gf to meet a girl that was special is simply asking for it :p ... man, if you do - then you're one brave man.. :p

arbiter
15-06-2006, 10:07 AM
Dang! :eek: don't even think about it... bring your gf to meet a girl that was special is simply asking for it :p ... man, if you do - then you're one brave man.. :p

I agree with USJ27Resident. We dudes must put ourselves in the woman's shoes. Imagine our woman talking affectionately or bringing us out to meet their ex boyfriend or worse, after telling us that ex or guy still have feelings for her? :D

man, if she does that, us dudes will feel bad. - so think wisely b4 you do it, normally they will say ok no problem it's ok so on so forth. IT"S NEVER OK, OK!! :D