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alexhay
23-03-2006, 01:08 PM
It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

suleenelena
23-03-2006, 01:13 PM
U know lex, sounds like i have read the book on this story. Hmmm... :rolleyes:

alexhay
23-03-2006, 01:22 PM
U know lex, sounds like i have read the book on this story. Hmmm... :rolleyes:

yeah lar..this story is being around via email...:) at least is show a true love..


for example...jennifer atinson dont know me...but at least i know her mar...this call true love :D :p

Life Ranger
23-03-2006, 01:25 PM
To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, but to be loved by the one you love is everything.

~ ?

:p

JackRyan1975
23-03-2006, 01:26 PM
Aiyo...then better reference it as such. For a moment I thought it's your personal experience. It's called what....'plagiarism' in the academic world ler...

suleenelena
23-03-2006, 01:29 PM
This whole love story thingy is too mushy.NEXT..

SunwayKid
23-03-2006, 01:39 PM
Aiseh......If you want to know what is true love........go figure out the Angelina riddle in the puzzle / riddle thread! :)

cherry
23-03-2006, 01:41 PM
This whole love story thingy is too mushy.NEXT..

This only goes to show that weekend is approaching and people tend to be mushy...

suleenelena
23-03-2006, 01:44 PM
Yeah and the weekend means = alone with mushy bf. :D

redx.xiii
23-03-2006, 02:02 PM
Recently, i read about Jet Li's reponse about "true love", just to share with:


Jet' s response:

Many times, people use the word "love" but do not understand what it means. They will say "I love this car" or "I love these shoes", but that isn't love. You don't love those things -- you "want" them. You want to own them. True Love is a gift.

Sometimes a person might say "I love this girl/boy", but in actuality they mean "I want this girl". Many of the things in this world -- money, material power, people -- you might want them to belong to you, but that isn't True Love. You don't love those things -- you love the idea of ownership of those things. You love what you think ownership will mean to you. Perhaps having that car means freedom ... or security ... or some other emotional state ... but ultimately it is just a desire for whatever that "thing" means to you. Do you love the girl/boy or do you love what being with that person means to you? True Love is a gift given to others. There is no sacrifice with True Love. Their happiness brings about your own happiness. It is important to be clear on the differences in True Love versus desire for ownership. It is also important to understand that True Love and romantic love are different things too. Sometimes they are coupled together, but you can have one without the other.

When True love and material desire are against each other, True Love will always win. For example, if you truly love someone, and they would like something that you own, you will gladly give it to them. True love has no ownership ... it has no self ... no personal desire ... it is only given as a gift. It is not something you want for yourself. There are no attachments, and with no attachments, there is no pain. If your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you and you have True Love for them, you want only what makes them happy, even if it's not in your personal best interests. Attachments to your best interests aren't as important to you as their happiness. You are happy if they break up with you if it will make them happier. If you just have the love of attachment, or just have romantic love without True Love, then that loss hurts because you are thinking of your own personal loss of ownership or attachment with that person. True love is obviously not as common in today's world.

A person might love their clothes ... or might love practicing martial arts ... but if their True Love says "I want you to stop those things and move with me to New York" then you will stop them and move. In Buddhist thought, the highest level of Love is selfless unconditional giving. That is why Buddhists meditate -- to understand themselves. It is their hope that, through understanding themselves, they will understand the truth of their life. They will see that nothing in this world is truly ours and that ownership is simply an illusion of the mind. In understanding the impermanence of things, they divorce themselves from attachments, perspectives and postition -- they can achieve "wu ji", or neutrality. Seeing through the illusion of ownership allows you to give, unconditionally, of yourself to others, and to demonstrate the qualities of True Love.

Reality Bites
24-03-2006, 07:01 PM
Woody : Doc, my brother thinks he is a chicken.

Doc : Why didnít you tell him he is not?

Woody : Because I needed the eggs!

Thatís the joke on love by Woody Allen: nobody knows what love is but we will never stop looking for it.





There is no such thing as love, but infatuations! Cosí people changes with times.

__________________________________________________ __________
Trust me, I am not a Doctor. Sighs! :D

baby
24-03-2006, 08:32 PM
There is no such thing as love, but infatuations! Cosí people changes with times.


So there's no such thing as love? Only a short lived passion or desire known as infatuation? I don't believe la. Surely there are some of you who could combat this statement by Reality Bites. How many of you are really sure that you have truly loved someone before. (might not be the one you're sharing a life with now.) Anybody?

SS19flyover
24-03-2006, 08:42 PM
I saw a couple who is in their 70's, holding hand walking in the park quitely enjoying each other company, for me that is love.

when was the last time you hold your wife's hand?

baby
24-03-2006, 08:46 PM
I saw a couple who is in their 70's, holding hand walking in the park quitely enjoying each other company, for me that is love.

when was the last time you hold your wife's hand?

I only hold my handbag for now. :D Yes la, I've seen many older couples holding hands but what about the younger ones? If they hold hands do we assume they are or aren't in love?

SS19flyover
24-03-2006, 08:55 PM
then I wish that the other hand of yours will soon be united with you.
actually I enjoy looking at old couple holding hands, it gives me a sense of pure love in them. truely cherish life day after day no matter rain or shine.

rabbiteeth84
24-03-2006, 09:25 PM
i been with my bf for 3 years now. we still hold hands!!!

i believe in true love. but i do believe true love takes two fingers to snap. i mean seriously, as time pass, you cant feel the fire as strong,u really needs to makes an effort to make it strong again. there will be low n high, all depends on how u handle it.

aRwEn
24-03-2006, 11:38 PM
dat iz when true love becomez more tn juz a mere feeling but oso a decision.... :)

im inspird by my godgrandparentz.... they passd away a few yrz ago, but wn they were in their eightiez, they stil held handz.... it wuz kinda cute cuz wn goin out togethr even 2 d shoppin ctr, u cud c tm holdin handz n ppl actuali starred at tm cuz it wuz quite an uncommon sight... hehe... ;)

n my godgrandpa wuz a dean, so he hadda work late stimez if there were niteclassez... he wuz d last 2 go home at nite n hadda lock up d place, n my godgrandma bein a hsewife, wud at timez accompany him after they had dinner togethr, even tho it meant stimez fallin asleep on d sofa juz in his office whilst he wuz doin d paperwork.... instead of doin sthin else at home like watchin tv.... juz so dat he wudnt b by himself cuz there wuz nobody else in d office at dat time adee....

:)

expat1609
24-03-2006, 11:52 PM
I saw a couple who is in their 70's, holding hand walking in the park quitely enjoying each other company, for me that is love.

when was the last time you hold your wife's hand?


good question....
not that easy to hold her hand when jalan-jalan, coz mostly with 2 kids, and they are fighting for daddy's hand, got only two of them :(

aRwEn
25-03-2006, 12:14 AM
good question....
not that easy to hold her hand when jalan-jalan, coz mostly with 2 kids, and they are fighting for daddy's hand, got only two of them :(


hehehe... how bout u hold ur wife'z hand.... tn d other 2 free handz, each hold 1 kid'z hand.... i know a bit difficult if u hav 3 kidz.... but cn alwiz cross dat bridge wn come 2 it..... hehe.... ;)

sakaibear
25-03-2006, 02:48 PM
i personally believe in true love....it does exist. however..the problem lies in whether we have the honour and pleasure or experiencing it. an elderly couple still holding hands is just total and utter pure love. i always wish if i was half as happy as them, i'm considered lucky.

Jose Mourinho
25-03-2006, 02:52 PM
i personally believe in true love....it does exist. however..the problem lies in whether we have the honour and pleasure or experiencing it. an elderly couple still holding hands is just total and utter pure love. i always wish if i was half as happy as them, i'm considered lucky.

Aiyah. You are looking at it from the perspective of a young person who still has all the wonderful years ahead of him/her. As an elderly man, I want to hold hands with a pretty young girl. Now whether that is love or not, let along true love, I really don't care.

:)

baby
25-03-2006, 03:27 PM
Or an older woman with a younger man? Absolutely not accepted in the eyes of many. But seriously who cares la. :D

USJ27Resident
25-03-2006, 11:57 PM
i been with my bf for 3 years now. we still hold hands!!!
.

Good on you... still holding hands after 3 years...

But what would you think would happen; if your guy wanted to hold your hand after you are married and you tell him to stop acting as if he was still courting...

The fact is (and I don't want to generalise...) some women have their priorities on the home and family that they neglect their man without even realising it... and the man ( being a man!) don't want to admit to being neglected... then they drift apart - sadly, without realising it. Next thing you know - another woman comes along and.... the rest is history :( Another Mills & Boon story in the making... Blame game!!!

baby
26-03-2006, 12:46 AM
USJ27Resident is speaking from experience? I guess many people want to make their relationship sweet and romantic all the time but the truth is, after many years being together, they tend to get comfortable just being themselves. During courtship, the relationship is always different, so to speak. Tolerance level is always higher and there is always a fear or risk of losing that someone. But I believe it doesn't mean that after marriage a couple would love each other less. They just take each other for granted. For many reasons. But when a crisis occurs, that's when they start to realise the importance of having each other. Remember the story posted by someone 'Carry Me Out In Your Arms'? But it could be a good thing. Never ventured never learnt.

Jose Mourinho
26-03-2006, 10:29 AM
The fact is (and I don't want to generalise...) some women have their priorities on the home and family that they neglect their man without even realising it... and the man ( being a man!) don't want to admit to being neglected... then they drift apart - sadly, without realising it.

If a woman has priorities on the home and bringing up the children of hers and her husband's, how can the man ever feel neglected? When a man marries a woman (or vice versa) and have children, the family moves as ONE. For the life of me, I can never understand nor agree to excuses of husbands feeling neglected. On the other hand... perhaps we do have very insecure husbands around and they use every flimsy excuse on the shelf for their infidelity. Admit la. If he wants that sweet young thing in a mini-skirt who sits alone in the corner table at Asia Cafe or the gorgeous drop-dead secretary in his office, then at least have the courage to admit it. And don't darn blame the wife that she has put her priorities bringing up his children and building up his home and has no time for him. Sheesh.

:rolleyes:

evecyanide
26-03-2006, 10:39 AM
And don't darn blame the wife that she has put her priorities bringing up his children and building up his home and has no time for him. Sheesh.

Clap... clap... :)

USJ27Resident
26-03-2006, 01:00 PM
And don't darn blame the wife that she has put her priorities bringing up his children and building up his home and has no time for him. Sheesh.

wei... did I blame the wife... :confused:


and the man ( being a man!) don't want to admit to being neglected... then they drift apart - sadly, without realising it.

I was highlighting the man's side of the story too...

It boils down to communications skill that we seem to have... yet not know how to use when in need...

Jose Mourinho
26-03-2006, 01:09 PM
USJ27Resident. I wasn't commenting about you at all. I was giving my view on your view - which you did qualify that it doesn't apply to all men. In trying to defend yourself (I give you my scout's honour, the comment was never aimed at you at all), you may have failed to see the points I am trying to make.

:)

Jose Mourinho
26-03-2006, 01:17 PM
It boils down to communications skill that we seem to have... yet not know how to use when in need...

In my view, it has nothing to do with communication. Communication is one of the most over-rated word in modern times. When things do not turn out well, we blame it on poor communication or a lack of communication. In this particular case, what has communication got to do with the marriage falling apart when the husband feels neglected because the wife spends time (on top of her career) building a family and a home? Do we need the wife to reassure the husband "Darling, I love you as much as before but this morning I cannot pamper you because I have to rush to bring the two children to school, then I have to go to office to work and then I have to rush back and put food on the table for dinner"?

But back to the title of the thread True Love. Anybody courageous enough to advocate that in true love, communication is already part of it and many a time there is sheer understanding without the need for verbal re-assertation?

USJ27Resident
26-03-2006, 01:53 PM
USJ27Resident. I wasn't commenting about you at all. I was giving my view on your view - which you did qualify that it doesn't apply to all men. In trying to defend yourself (I give you my scout's honour, the comment was never aimed at you at all), you may have failed to see the points I am trying to make.

:)


Point taken... :p

USJ27Resident
26-03-2006, 02:00 PM
In my view, it has nothing to do with communication. Communication is one of the most over-rated word in modern times. When things do not turn out well, we blame it on poor communication or a lack of communication. In this particular case, what has communication got to do with the marriage falling apart when the husband feels neglected because the wife spends time (on top of her career) building a family and a home? Do we need the wife to reassure the husband "Darling, I love you as much as before but this morning I cannot pamper you because I have to rush to bring the two children to school, then I have to go to office to work and then I have to rush back and put food on the table for dinner"?

But in a sense... communication has everything to do with a relationship...

Half the time the men gets blamed for the breakdowns, the infidelity, the whatever reasons... but where have you seen a woman getting the fair share of the blame? All the freaking woman's magazines that I've seen invokes or proclaims self awareness and rights for women... but in reality, half the time - men gets the bum rap for all the domestic problems... who gets the other half of the blame???

Might as well don't get married and get into this rut we call a relationship. True love may exist but maybe not in this generation or century... for some - at least.

rabbiteeth84
26-03-2006, 05:08 PM
woh Jose you r one true of a man. i said that is because very seldom a man will admit what other man's fault.

yes,truly, communication is the cornerstone of all relationship. my bf n i r still learning. theres so many times we fight due to the fact that we misunderstood each other, n most of the times he cant comprehend what i wan from wat i say, and vice versa.

haha, is really frustrating. but both of us are learning. true love is there maybe is because partners never give up, persisted in believing love is always there, is just that anger and frustration always tends to masked it.

Jose Mourinho
26-03-2006, 05:51 PM
True Love.....

And another time, on the same route, during the crossing of the same ocean, night had begun as before and in the lounge on the main deck there was a sudden burst of music, a Chopin waltz which she knew secretly, personally, because for months she tried to learn it, though she never managed to play it properly, never, and that was why her mother agreed to let her give up the piano. Among all the other nights upon nights, the girl had spent that one on the boat, of that she was sure, and she'd been there when it happened, the burst of Chopin under a sky lit up with brilliances. There wasn't a breath of wind and the music spread all over the dark boat, like a heavenly injunction whose import was unknown, like an order from God whose meaning was inscrutable. And the girl started up as if to go and kill herself in her turn, throw herself in her turn into the sea, and afterwards she wept because she thought of the man from Cholon and suddenly she wasn't sure she hadn't loved him with a love she hadn't seen because it had lost itself in the affair like water in sand and she rediscovered it only now, through this moment of music flung across the sea.

- Marguerite Duras' The Lover -

The key is in the last few lines.

baby
26-03-2006, 07:26 PM
True Love.....

........And the girl started up as if to go and kill herself in her turn, throw herself in her turn into the sea, and afterwards she wept because she thought of the man from Cholon and suddenly she wasn't sure she hadn't loved him with a love she hadn't seen .........

Unca Jose Mourinho. I feel like dying...liao. Why you so romantic meh...? Sorry. Why you so romantic...one...? :D

Jose Mourinho
26-03-2006, 08:40 PM
Unca Jose Mourinho. I feel like dying...liao. Why you so romantic meh...? Sorry. Why you so romantic...one...? :D

Nothing to do with romance. Romance is for the uninitiated. True love is.....

"For her too it was when the boat uttered its first farewell, when the gangway was hauled up and the tugs had started to tow and draw the boat away from land, that she had wept. She'd wept without letting anyone see her tears, because he was Chinese and one oughtn't to weep for that kind of lover".

- Marguerite Duras' The Lover, page 117 -

Reality Bites
26-03-2006, 10:17 PM
"And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love, you gave."

Beatle - Abbey Road, The End.


______________________________________

Trust me, I don't issue APs. :D