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baby
18-02-2006, 02:02 AM
Is love a sensation. Or is it a sacrifice.

How far would you go, with a person who is overly dominant, who controls you of your life, your money, the friends you have, your time, your almost everything.

Would you hang on and wait.

And what would you do when the ultimate happens; with the existence of a third party, someone new. Would it then be.. the ultimate test of ..your "love"?

Tq.

USJ27Resident
18-02-2006, 04:54 AM
Is love a sensation. Or is it a sacrifice.

And what would you do when the ultimate happens; with the existence of a third party, someone new. Would it then be.. the ultimate test of ..your "love"?

Tq.

Whoaaaah! Is this a post Valentine's blues post or what?? :p :D Or is wanderlust kicking in...

Love is... a many splendour thing... :) ... and why would there be a third party unless you oredi fed-up/give up with your present party la.

My 2sen on the subject!

chin_wan
18-02-2006, 06:53 AM
Love hurts but it's worth it.

kokomo
18-02-2006, 10:19 AM
Errmmm .. to some, maybe they liked being controlled by d other party? But somehow in the long run met wif someone who gives a total freedom?!?!

charis14
18-02-2006, 10:41 AM
Problem nowadays seem to be the loose definition of word LOVE. Many associate Love with feelings of romance (or, in some cases, lust). To me, best picture of love is portrayed by ideal parent-child relationship. Love persists in spite of anger when children are disobedient. Love involves willing sacrifices by parents. etc etc

Also differentiate between LOVE and INFACTUATION. It takes time to really get to know and, where suitable, commit to one another. However, infactuation comes about when Prince (or Princess?) Charming swoops into our life.

What to do when such happens? I'll suggest you get back to basics. Reevaluate the IMPORTANT things which form the basis of relationships. For example, character is more important than charisma in the longer term. What about longer term aspirations, family situation, etc. It will take time to find out all these if Prince Charming appeared only this week.

As far as Mr Dominant, I will suggest the same basic re-evaluation i.e. his character, personality, intentions, etc. Dominance can be positive (e.g. leader giving directions) or negative (e.g. verbal or physical abuse, refusal to listen to options, etc). If negative, move away.

Wishing you success...

kokomo
18-02-2006, 11:08 AM
Generally, male are to be more dominant than female. But in relationship there are female that is more dominant than man. So do that really bothers a person? It also depends on your own preference.

Jose Mourinho
18-02-2006, 12:07 PM
From the subject of love to sado-machoism after a few posts? Gee.....

:)

kress
18-02-2006, 12:41 PM
me no get it?
why are you sticking with a person who is obviously making your life a pain?
for me, i'd tell that person to take a long walk off a short pier...

evecyanide
18-02-2006, 12:57 PM
I suggest you dump the over-dominant jerk and get your own life back on track.

kokomo
18-02-2006, 01:04 PM
Once love hits u .. u're like blind n love is leading u on .. so can't blame a person who is already in love and is being dominated by other party ma ... this kind of situation might jz hit us also and we might not hv notice it.

baby
18-02-2006, 01:19 PM
me no get it?
why are you sticking with a person who is obviously making your life a pain?


And the smarter women among us must realize that this could only happen if we let go and let the man be a "man".

But sadly, I'm not the smarter one.

evecyanide
18-02-2006, 01:20 PM
I know what you mean, kokomo. Same situation heppened to me. I was blinded by so-called love for 8 years, stuck to the jerk no matter what. But one day I got a wake up call and I walked out of the door. Never returned.

kokomo
18-02-2006, 01:31 PM
:eek: Waaa .. took you 8 yrs? that's long ... anyway, congratulations u finally woke up and face the world again .. :D

After each relationship, one whom got smarter .. would hv a higher expectations than b4 oledi .. which makes ... next man to go after you even more difficult lah ... good good!

baby
18-02-2006, 01:38 PM
I know what you mean, kokomo. Same situation heppened to me. I was blinded by so-called love for 8 years, stuck to the jerk no matter what. But one day I got a wake up call and I walked out of the door. Never returned.

And it took you 8 long years to walk away? Good for you. You must have known you could never change him.
Did you ever think, he could have really loved you at all?

I believe many men (and women perhaps) have great difficulty in accepting being in love with their partners, tho' no one can avoid the push of human nature to find love, it forever seems to escape them. Could this only happen to people who had attained great success and wealth in their lives?

kress
18-02-2006, 02:15 PM
imho, it's not love that makes you stay but the feeling that you don't have someone.....
you see people these days rushing to find a gf/bf... just to get into a relationship.... me thinks because these people are afraid of being alone...

baby
18-02-2006, 02:41 PM
imho, it's not love that makes you stay but the feeling that you don't have someone.....


Yes, it's the fear of losing someone whom we have become so dependant on emotionally and sadly to say, financially too.

evecyanide
18-02-2006, 03:05 PM
:eek: Waaa .. took you 8 yrs? that's long ... anyway, congratulations u finally woke up and face the world again .. :D

After each relationship, one whom got smarter .. would hv a higher expectations than b4 oledi .. which makes ... next man to go after you even more difficult lah ... good good!

After that, I never expected much from anyone actually. Anyway, I've found the love of my life so I'm happily living my life and thank God that I managed to get out from a really bad relationship.

Baby, so true on the 'being dependant' part.

charis14
18-02-2006, 03:10 PM
But sadly, I'm not the smarter one.
If not married, the option of walking out on a "jerk" should be seriously considered - to affect long term mental and physical health. However, if married, the issue becomes more complex and should be thoroughly considered.
There is wisdom in consulting others. They may be able to see things more objectively. I know of marriages redeemed thro counseling. If interested, pm me and I can connect you to family life counsellors - who are trained and experienced. Best of all, FREE of charge.

baby
18-02-2006, 03:16 PM
Ultimately, a decision has to be made. Love has nothing to do with it. No way to put up with a person who wants to 'dictate' and be in control all the time. And at the same time, threats of finding someone 'new' if things don't go their ways. This kinda relationship, is one that is really not worth having.

Thank you all for your feedback.

baby
18-02-2006, 03:24 PM
Eve, Charis. Gimme a five! To hell with jerks and 'dictators' like that.

Thank you again, so much.

AllUrban
18-02-2006, 03:50 PM
Lust, passion, physical feelings and excitement, romance, they can all be selfish in some way.

To me, love goes hand in hand with the word selfless

evecyanide
18-02-2006, 05:01 PM
Eve, Charis. Gimme a five! To hell with jerks and 'dictators' like that.

Thank you again, so much.

Five! :)

Baby, be strong and believe in yourself. You definitely do not need to be with him for the way he treats you. He doesn't deserve you at all! It'll definitely hurt but that's inevitable. Look on the bright side, at least after you've ditched him , you'll have a life of your own - no more 'Mr-Control-freak' in your life!

Good luck, girl and enjoy life to the max!

alexhay
18-02-2006, 05:31 PM
Love ? What is love ?? Hardly we could see an old couple walking together holding hands. I seen a few couple doing it but others you walk your way, I walk my way...

I am not in a relationship for the past 3 or 4 years already. Why ? Some ppl might wonder? To me, I wanted to be in but don't have faith. Or just simply cant get into it due to some bad experience. Maybe I scared to get hurt again or hurt someone again..

evecyanide
18-02-2006, 05:44 PM
Alex, your time will come when you meet the correct person and that is when you'll really know what love is. You'll learn to have faith in yourself again, as well as faith in your partner.

Love, for me is 'Looking in his eyes and you see his heart'. :)

Learn from your bad experience. Alex, if you never try, you'll never know ;)

alexhay
18-02-2006, 06:45 PM
thanks eve for your advice...:) ...

baby
19-02-2006, 12:32 AM
Alex, your time will come when you meet the correct person and that is when you'll really know what love is. You'll learn to have faith in yourself again, as well as faith in your partner.

Love, for me is 'Looking in his eyes and you see his heart'. :)

Learn from your bad experience. Alex, if you never try, you'll never know ;)

Sorry to barge in and spill some cold water here. But I have not learnt to have faith in any men. Faith as in trust. I looked into his eyes and they stared right back at me. And what do I see? Just another human being who is as imperfect as me. Who is bound to make mistakes. Who is bound to lie. Who is bound to cheat. Given the opportunity at the right time and with the wrong person, anything can happen.

To be able to stay in a relationship with another human being is to accept all the bad, and the bad. That's the ultimate test of loving someone. Hard to swallow but true. It will never be a bed of roses. Rather, it would be like lying on an electric blanket, with the other person holding the switch.

Sorry.

USJ27Resident
19-02-2006, 12:52 AM
Sorry to barge in and spill some cold water here. But I have not learnt to have faith in any men. Faith as in trust. I looked into his eyes and they stared right back at me. And what do I see? Just another human being who is as imperfect as me. Who is bound to make mistakes. Who is bound to lie. Who is bound to cheat. Given the opportunity at the right time and with the wrong person, anything can happen.........Sorry.

Well... at least you know that nobody's perfect... including yourself.

Heck... we've all been thru good n bad experiences, but we live on.. carry on.. with our lives. As long as there is hope... there's a chance. One can learn to forgive but to forget... that's another story altogether.

By the way, what makes you think only men does the cheating... ? I have known and seen some of my (female) friends happily profess this line "what he doesn't know, doesn't hurt.... " :p

Funny how this topic seems to portrays men as the bad ones... Frankly, when the guy messes with other women, the wife/gf will almost immediately be informed of it if spotted by the wife/gf friends but if it was the other way around.... the poor fella will almost always be the last person to find out that his gf/wife/partner is fooling around... now why is that? :confused:

baby
19-02-2006, 12:57 AM
By the way, what makes you think only men does the cheating... ?

You got me wrong. When I used "men", I meant men and women as in a general context. That was why I said I see the imperfections in me too.

Choon1980
19-02-2006, 01:03 AM
Maybe if you tried dating someone other than the usual demographic of "bad boys", you'd have more faith.

baby
19-02-2006, 01:03 AM
Frankly, when the guy messes with other women, the wife/gf will almost immediately be informed of it if spotted by the wife/gf friends but if it was the other way around.... the poor fella will almost always be the last person to find out that his gf/wife/partner is fooling around... now why is that? :confused:

Why? Don't know. Could it be he's too occupied with his own..agenda..to see the truth? That's when most relationships fail. Failing to spend enough time together and yet claim they are a couple? Or having spent so much time together when romance dies, the relationship becomes stale? Failing to understand that romance don't last forever but it never hurt to say the words "I love you"?

baby
19-02-2006, 01:06 AM
Maybe if you tried dating someone other than the usual demographic of "bad boys", you'd have more faith.

Everyone is a bad boy..and a bad girl don't ya agree?? But to what extend depends on their upbringing and principles. And in my new discovery, being wealthy and successful has lots to do with it. Can slap me in the face if you don't agree but that's what I've learnt.

evecyanide
19-02-2006, 01:46 AM
Sorry to barge in and spill some cold water here. But I have not learnt to have faith in any men. Faith as in trust. I looked into his eyes and they stared right back at me. And what do I see? Just another human being who is as imperfect as me. Who is bound to make mistakes. Who is bound to lie. Who is bound to cheat. Given the opportunity at the right time and with the wrong person, anything can happen.

To be able to stay in a relationship with another human being is to accept all the bad, and the bad. That's the ultimate test of loving someone. Hard to swallow but true. It will never be a bed of roses. Rather, it would be like lying on an electric blanket, with the other person holding the switch.

Sorry.

Nuthin's ever a bed of roses. Life has it's ups and downs. But when it plunges down, down and down, then there's definitely something wrong there. Jose mentioned something about making choices, Life is about making choices. If you're willing to accept the bad and the bad, then it's all up to you. You choose the kind of life that you want to live and the person that you'd like to share it with. I'm so sorry that you have to go thru all this. Having gone thru something like this before, I truly understand how you feel...

leewinnie46
19-02-2006, 01:49 AM
Is love a sensation. Or is it a sacrifice.

How far would you go, with a person who is overly dominant, who controls you of your life, your money, the friends you have, your time, your almost everything.

Would you hang on and wait.

And what would you do when the ultimate happens; with the existence of a third party, someone new. Would it then be.. the ultimate test of ..your "love"?

Tq.

if anyone can read chinese, 聂 存 仪 will tell you a story of her own......

http://www.mba.net.my/BuddDatabase/ShengMingJY/CuiCanRenSheng/009.htm

LOVES HURTS TOO. :(

chin_wan
19-02-2006, 09:03 AM
If it does not hurt, then it's not love.

Jose Mourinho
19-02-2006, 10:51 AM
My interpretation of Love:

Love is as natural as the wind. Can wind be contained? Yes. Wind which rushes in a valley between two hills. Wind whistles through a narrow alley way between two high buildings. Wind funnels through every artificial means man has created. Wind swirls between silver birch in a forest. Wind flutters among daisies and daffodils in an open field. Wind gallops on top of breaking waves. Uncontained Love at its purest is Uncontained Wind - where it orginates and flows totally uninhibited by nature or man.

That, is the meaning of Love.

baby
19-02-2006, 11:13 AM
My interpretation of Love:

Love is as natural as the wind. Can wind be contained? Yes. Wind which rushes in a valley between two hills. Wind whistles through a narrow alley way between two high buildings. Wind funnels through every artificial means man has created. Wind swirls between silver birch in a forest. Wind flutters among daisies and daffodils in an open field. Wind gallops on top of breaking waves. Uncontained Love at its purest is Uncontained Wind - where it orginates and flows totally uninhibited by nature or man.

That, is the meaning of Love.

Impossible..

Only in my dreams.

Jose Mourinho
19-02-2006, 11:16 AM
Who is to say your dreams cannot be your reality? Live your dreams. Live your dreams to the fullest.

:)

Jose Mourinho
19-02-2006, 11:20 AM
Everyone is a bad boy..and a bad girl don't ya agree?? But to what extend depends on their upbringing and principles. And in my new discovery, being wealthy and successful has lots to do with it. Can slap me in the face if you don't agree but that's what I've learnt.

Baby. Would you mind to expand a bit more on this, especially the 'being wealthy and successful' part? It is certainly an interesting view which is worth exploring.

baby
19-02-2006, 12:09 PM
Baby. Would you mind to expand a bit more on this, especially the 'being wealthy and successful' part? It is certainly an interesting view which is worth exploring.

That thing called love, is beautiful. In it's purest form. You have described it well. So many lives have experienced it and for most, it is beyond expression or words. But.. what seems and feels like love.. can sometimes become tainted by a person's growth of wealthiness and...it becomes corrupted when a person cannot distinguish the acquisition of wealth from the pursuit of his dreams..which includes his loved ones? in a another way but similarly, the desire for success and self-substantiation. In what ways? So many. But for a person, it would only take one step, to lose them all again. I mean, his loved ones.

Nic_of_Time
19-02-2006, 12:24 PM
As read and understood, Love is merely an effect of some chemical reactions in our body, mainly in our brain, induced by nature to ensure the survival of a specie. Love is basically manifested to promote bonding and attractions between parties for various living purposes and sometime it can be negative. e.g. many Germans in the 1940s would have 'love' Hitler, and blinded to the consequences.

In humans, falling-in-love is activated by brain chemicals to promote copulations and procreation.
The love chemicals are triggered off by various situations and mental states.
When cupid's arrow strikes, the love chemical starts its secretions, and is so strong that it often blind our rational faculties. Once the love process takes off, somehow nature prompt it to get the next stage of procreations as soon as possible.
On CNN yesterday, falling in love was regarded as a madness or OCD.

Parental love also have its survival values. Ocytoxin is responsible for this love. The degrees of love will depend on the ocytoxin levels, which is easily demonstrated in animals.

Reptillians like crocodiles appear to have a 'love' for their babies.
A crocodiles will maintain ocytoxin levels for some months to take care of its babies. Once the ocytoxin levels run out, the babies will be eaten alive if they go off on their own.

Mother bears have ocytoxin levels for about two years after giving birth.
As these bonding chemicals get weaned- off, the bear will aggressively 'shoo' away its kids. If young bears remain, they would have been killed.

Humans feel and get involved all sorts of 'attractions' and bonding necessary for survival (exception being perversions).Some of these are misinterpretated as love. Love of your own clan, kind, race, religion, all have survival values. These would also include 'love' for objects and possessions.

Love is activated in our lower brain. Fortunately for humans, we have a higher brain to modulate the vagaries and madness of our sometimes tumultuos love emotion.

Bravo, Baby, for activating more of your higher human faculties to mediate that 'love' stirred from our animalistic passion by discussing with others. It is a good move, as the one in love is often blind and sometimes 'insane'.

We should not ignore nor curb the love emotions from manifesting in us. However we need to understand it in perspective to enable us to optimize the joy of love. With mindfulness, i would not mind, falling in love again..
albeit with a hobby, nature, a pet, or the even opposite sex to the extend where rationality and human values prevail.

Choon1980
19-02-2006, 01:06 PM
Everyone is a bad boy..and a bad girl don't ya agree?? But to what extend depends on their upbringing and principles. And in my new discovery, being wealthy and successful has lots to do with it. Can slap me in the face if you don't agree but that's what I've learnt.


That thing called love, is beautiful. In it's purest form. You have described it well. So many lives have experienced it and for most, it is beyond expression or words. But.. what seems and feels like love.. can sometimes become tainted by a person's growth of wealthiness and...it becomes corrupted when a person cannot distinguish the acquisition of wealth from the pursuit of his dreams..which includes his loved ones? in a another way but similarly, the desire for success and self-substantiation. In what ways? So many. But for a person, it would only take one step, to lose them all again. I mean, his loved ones.

Actually, I agree whole-heartedly with you in terms of being wealthy and successful (and popular, I might add). I do believe that there ARE "good boys" and "good girls", just that they're being screwed over by our MTV-pop-culture -laden social system we have today. They either end up single for life, or being completely dominated by their husband/wife.

I think love in its purest form is experienced by a very, very small minority of couples today. For most people, love is a social contract where two people exploit each others resources under a thin veneer of romance.

kokomo
19-02-2006, 02:55 PM
Ahhhh .. i see that love does many wonderous things here as well as affected many of our lives here too. We grow n learn each day bout love ..

If it ain't from ya heart then it ain't love jz keep that in mind ... that way i think most of us will learn to be more careful wif others.

baby
19-02-2006, 04:29 PM
Someone says love = selfless. And if it doesn't hurt, then it's not love. And when it hurts, it's worth it. Someone says love is uninhibited by nature or man. Someone says love is a chemistry. Someone says love is a social contract exploited under a thin veneer of romance.

I'd say you are all right. You have all experienced love. You have gone thru heaven, hell..and back again. Some have even been electrocuted in the electric blanket, and survived..and asking for more. Some has not even tasted the bitterness, but knows they are capable of loving. That is all that matters. We, must be capable of loving, sharing, laughing, crying, suffering and forgiving..to know what love is all about.

This is the best forum in the whole wide world. You all have turned me around. What I needed was a slap in the face and what I've received was only encouragement. Need I say more. This is, may I say, a kinda "love" from one kind soul towards another.

Thank you.

orchipalar
19-02-2006, 08:16 PM
Err..."hao hua bu chang khai...hao jin bu chang chai..."

Like beautiful flowers...love withers away...n like beautiful scenary...love changes...
Love is depicted in songs...love is written in poems...n love exists in dreams...
but most of all...love exists in the heart n soul...

USJ27Resident
19-02-2006, 10:47 PM
What I needed was a slap in the face and what I've received was only encouragement. Need I say more. This is, may I say, a kinda "love" from one kind soul towards another.

Thank you.

Now why ask for a slap in the face :confused: unless you were on a guilt trip and treading on thin ice... or confused with the attention from a third party(person!)... hmmm... I may be wrong but sometimes experiences teaches one to sense things like this...

Whatever your reasons, be honest with yourself first. Then decide whats best for you and the relationship ~ not for your other half or the third party (if there's one. :p )

Sometimes - it is even better to be by yourself and to look at the whole thing from the outside...

Then again.... I just dunno (I may be wrong!) but I sense something else here... your heartache/heartpain reminds me of another forummer that used to post similiar subjects here... and we all start on wearing our Uncle/Aunty Agony caps.. :)

Sato
19-02-2006, 10:54 PM
to me love is when i wake up every morning the first thing i see is my wife lovely smile n enjoying morning breakfast with her.

to me love is when i quarel with my wife and we end up know each other better, and the more we love n cherish each other.

n to me love is when i sleep, my wife is the first pillow to hug when i sleep :D

baby
19-02-2006, 10:55 PM
Then again.... I just dunno (I may be wrong!) but I sense something else here... your heartache/heartpain reminds me of another forummer that used to post similiar subjects here... and we all start on wearing our Uncle/Aunty Agony caps.. :)

Yes? But I'm not that same forumer, but I could relate a little then..if I remember correctly. Didn't want to create confusion here, but my first post on the possibility of an encounter with a 3rd kind was sincere. Everyone was kinda diverted to only what love is all about, so I just went along with the flow. Or was it my fault. See, I really need a slap! :o

But it's ok now, I truly appreciate all that has been said. If anyone needs a boot, that person is definitely getting it.

baby
19-02-2006, 10:56 PM
to me love is when i wake up every morning the first thing i see is my wife lovely smile n enjoying morning breakfast with her.

to me love is when i quarel with my wife and we end up know each other better, and the more we love n cherish each other.

n to me love is when i sleep, my wife is the first pillow to hug when i sleep :D

Very very sweet. You are a lucky man Sato-san.

patrick
19-02-2006, 11:11 PM
Is love a sensation. Or is it a sacrifice.

How far would you go, with a person who is overly dominant, who controls you of your life, your money, the friends you have, your time, your almost everything.

Would you hang on and wait.

And what would you do when the ultimate happens; with the existence of a third party, someone new. Would it then be.. the ultimate test of ..your "love"?

Tq.
Love is everything. Its not just sensation and sacrifice, but a lot more of other things. Theres also much sharing. A person who is so overly domineering is IMHO not luving you. He/she is taking over your life!!! That's NOT luv at all!!

And you want to hang on??? And you want to know what to do when a third person comes into the scene?? Gosh, you shouldnt even ask that question at all!!! Someone said dump him....I wouldnt even want to dirty my hand on such garbage.

baby
20-02-2006, 09:28 AM
A person who is so overly domineering is IMHO not luving you. He/she is taking over your life!!! That's NOT luv at all!!

And you want to hang on??? And you want to know what to do when a third person comes into the scene?? Gosh, you shouldnt even ask that question at all!!! Someone said dump him....I wouldnt even want to dirty my hand on such garbage.

Patrick, thank you for your honesty. I know, no 2 relationships are identical, and the reasons aren't always crystal clear. My personal life aside.

I am wondering.. if there could never be genuine love from an overly domineering person to another. I am saying, could a person with possessive traits, overprotectiveness, demanding, not capable of loving another at all? This person, could he/she lack self esteem, confidence or could he/she been a victim of a bad relationship?

Another question. No matter how bleak things might seem, is it not possible to revitalize a relationship wounded by what they call...infidelity?

kokomo
20-02-2006, 10:01 AM
There are cases why domineering ppl like that and is not b'cos they dun luv d other party but is jz b'cos they afraid of losing them. Basically they encountered failure in relationship, therefore come lack of confidence in relationship, lack of trust & up bringing of themselves could also causes them to be domineering.

Firstly, need to identify whether a domineering guy/girl still luvs d other party? Secondly, if answer is YES .. seek for a counsellor to talk it over or talk to each other bout it. If answer is NO, then jz dun waste your time on a person that doesn't love u.

Simple as that. But it would hurt tho.

baby
20-02-2006, 10:05 AM
.. seek for a counsellor to talk it over or talk to each other bout it.

Most of the time, a domineering person would be in denial mode.

But thank you anyway.

johnmichael
20-02-2006, 10:26 AM
after so many thousands of years of civilization, we still can't get a grip on the true meaning of love. anyway, the key word here is.. "rejection" (tamely equivalent to the opposite of love). if he can utter the words.."i don't love u anymore".. what he actually means is that.. "i never loved u in the first place".. so.. move on, baby. ur dignified reply to his words of rejection should be.. "i don't think i know who u are anymore"..

baby
20-02-2006, 10:31 AM
if he can utter the words.."i don't love u anymore".. what he actually means is that.. "i never loved u in the first place"..

Thank you JM. But if never, the words "i never loved u in the first place" uttered..instead "i've always loved u"

How, kind sir.

Jose Mourinho
20-02-2006, 08:15 PM
Perhaps we are bogged down with the realities of our existence which is more of selfishness than love. What most of us expressed here is not about love (or love hurts) but our own desire for a specific brand of love which is attuned to this world or ours and the so-called love we perceive just weave itself into our intricate lives without reasons for Love to live. We have not allowed Love to live. May I recommend two movies - both musicals, one east and one west. Do not use our senses to examine the improbabilities but use our sensibilities to examine the probabilities. Not the whys but the why-nots. I recommend you watch Phantom of the Opera (2004) and Perhaps Love (2005). Pure Love is expressed through music and lyrics in heart beats.

kwchang
21-02-2006, 12:26 AM
4 pages and only now did I decide to check this one out. No time to digest everything, hence my apologies if I may repeat someone else's ideas.....

I like to KISS - Keep It Short and Simple.

Love in the purest form, to me is acceptance. Simple as that.
All the other stuff like romance are just extraneous stuff that get in the way.
No matter what, all we seek is acceptance - from colleagues, from friends, from spouse, even from your pet.

Ask yourself, do you feel hurt when you get rejected?
So, do you feel loved when you feel accepted?

Simple isn't it? That will stand the test of time and when all the frivolities end, it is ultimately acceptance from your "loved one" that is the bond.

When you are down or doubtful and you need to count your blessings, ask yourself if your partner accepts you as his/her life partner? Your spouse may not be the most romantic person in the world, but you know there is love if your spouse will not accept another. Isn't that the key?

baby
21-02-2006, 01:00 AM
Perhaps we are bogged down with the realities of our existence which is more of selfishness than love. What most of us expressed here is not about love (or love hurts) but our own desire ...

Jose sir, yes perhaps we are selfish creatures in more ways than one. Perhaps none of us truly understand the true meaning of love. And to some, love is selfless. How is one to achieve selfless love. Unconditional. Undemanding. Unquestioning. But to say the words " I love you", wouldn't one first learn how to say "I"?
Aren't we born with certain standards and conditions..wouldn't we selfishly safeguard our love.

jessi24
21-02-2006, 07:59 AM
Just my two cents....
Love is an emotion. When you love someone, you'll feel happy when he/she is with you. When the person is not around you will miss them. You can love just about anyone. However a relationship between both parties needs so much more. ie, respect, trust.
Everyone has their own needs and wants from a relationship. For a relationship to work knowing yourself is a must. Know what is important to you. Many people go into a relationship because they are afraid of being alone. Then they hope to change the other party to become their 'ideal' mate. I have seen many who say "If you love me you'll do this, change that" . Frankly if I were the other party I'd say "If you love me you'll accept me for what I am". :D


Is love a sensation. Or is it a sacrifice.
Love is an emotion.

How far would you go, with a person who is overly dominant, who controls you of your life, your money, the friends you have, your time, your almost everything.
I know what I want in a relationship and it won't be a goaler. I'd dump such a person on the spot.

Would you hang on and wait.
No I'll never hang on or what not because I can't ever learn to love such a person.

And what would you do when the ultimate happens; with the existence of a third party, someone new. Would it then be.. the ultimate test of ..your "love"?
On my part there will not be a 3rd party. I always believe do not do unto others what you do not want done on yourself. If it is from his part.....I may love him but I can't live with what he has done, so I'll dump him. Some say I am too 'hard' or 'harsh'. I however know myself best. I know what I can live with. I have my own principles and believes which I live by or follow. I love myself too much to ever share. :D

baby
21-02-2006, 09:34 AM
I love myself too much to ever share. :D

Jessie hi. In this case, for you to love a person is selfish because it means that you value that particular person for reasons based on your standards, that he makes your life better, that he is an intense source of joy..to you. And it's all about how you feel.

Jose Mourinho
21-02-2006, 10:25 AM
Love in the purest form, to me is acceptance. Simple as that. All the other stuff like romance are just extraneous stuff that get in the way. No matter what, all we seek is acceptance - from colleagues, from friends, from spouse, even from your pet. When you are down or doubtful and you need to count your blessings, ask yourself if your partner accepts you as his/her life partner? Your spouse may not be the most romantic person in the world, but you know there is love if your spouse will not accept another. Isn't that the key?

Kwchang is a scientist (and I say this with respect, not with mirth) and he views love in a very matter-of-a-fact-down-to-earth manner. He is right, you know. But for me, I view it via the music and lyrics of Perhaps Love - which makes me a romantic old fool, I guess.

:)

leewinnie46
21-02-2006, 11:35 AM
I don't know much about LOVE - chemical LOVE or whatever LOVE is...

1) This man ask and understand about the women past and accept her past

women with few kids married this man , this man accept her and kids

This man parents discourage their marriage but women try to take care these old folk and being *%$!@#$ mostly

is this life worth that much of bless or curse, what the young generation learn from this topic ?

2) a women sick for 3 days and the husband take care of her throughtout day and night, she get very sick for 10 over years and her husband take care of her until the end of her day... despite of she meant to give up her life, he encourage her that he appreciate her accompany....

3) ms x married this man, fews year later, this man married another women, ms x know she have to accept the fact that this man change.... ms x known that she love him, accept that this man marry a couple of times... for 40 years until this man suffer from diabetic, high blood pressure which cause him crawling to become blind. ms x take care of this man diet, his unhealthy skin texture due to diabetic.....


I would say unconditional acceptance = LOVE

baby
21-02-2006, 12:14 PM
I would say unconditional acceptance = LOVE

Thank you for sharing Winnie.

What you have described, in your stories (3 different women or the same woman?) relates to kwchang's view on love being an acceptance.

I would think, love..is not unconditional. My point of view. If love is unconditional, anyone could just love anyone..tom, dick, harry and jane. There would be no arguments and fights, nothing to care or worry about, not even your own welfare and happiness, becos all you want in life, is to make the other person..happy. Then it is truly selfless, no demands..till death do you part, no matter what the other person does to you, he/she will always be forgiven. Is this true love..Can it be found..

La Vida Loca
21-02-2006, 12:29 PM
Have to agree with kwchang, in the end its about being accepted for who you really are, all the flaws and inadequacies. There's a fine line between constructive criticism and being told how to live your life, i already have a mother for the latter thank you. Come to think of it, my mom never boss me in anyway. I've seen really domineering moms who has a say in everything their children do but my mom is a hippie sort and i've always been an "eliza doolittle".

Sorry to digress, when i dated this "professor higgins" who told me i'm holding my chopsticks wrongly, that my tea pouring rites are lacking, that i'm sitting in an unflattering fashion, my blouse is too skimpy - i just smile. Its cute and unnerving at the same time. You can either think of it as critical or accept the fact that some people are born with an opinion and most of the time they are very self expressive. Its knowing where they are coming from that really matters.

baby, i guess you yourself knows best. People can only be so dominant as you let them be.

baby
21-02-2006, 01:01 PM
I've seen really domineering moms who has a say in everything their children do but my mom is a hippie sort and i've always been an "eliza doolittle".



In regards to motherly love, may I say, that in truth, it's to our selfish interest to protect and care (love) for our loved-ones, because our own welfare and happiness is intertwined with theirs. Then it is therefore, not unconditional.

baby
21-02-2006, 01:03 PM
baby, i guess you yourself knows best. People can only be so dominant as you let them be.

Yes..you are right. All for the sake of a discussion, La Vida Loca. Thank you.

baby
21-02-2006, 01:08 PM
Kwchang is a scientist (and I say this with respect, not with mirth) and he views love in a very matter-of-a-fact-down-to-earth manner. He is right, you know. But for me, I view it via the music and lyrics of Perhaps Love - which makes me a romantic old fool, I guess.

:)

Oh yes..let's just sweep the true meaning of 'Love' under the carpet and listen to some good ole romantic music shall we? Am wondering if anyone at all could find the lyrics to Perhaps Love..something to do with the wind, river and something. Thank you all.

Nic_of_Time
21-02-2006, 02:35 PM
Love Hurts (OP)... and can be very painful and even
end up with crime of passion.
When issues lead to such drastic consequences for humans,
it is worthwhile to understand the root causes, instead
of solely treating the symptons and be at the mercy of our emotions.


So love, in all its glory, is just, it seems, a chemical state with genetic roots and environmental influences.
The Science of Love (http://www.economist.com/printedition/displayStory.cfm?Story_ID=2424049)

*************************
Here are some links from google.
BBC - Science & Nature - Hot Topics - Love - Key PointsSerotonin - One of love's most important chemicals and one that may actually send us temporarily insane. Arrow Discover which type of partner you're ...
www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/ - 51k - Cached - Similar pages


What is chemistry and chemicals in love relationships?Chemistry in relationships and love is fueled by actual chemicals in our brains. Chemistry in love involves chemical highs. Chemistry clicks for love.
www.cyberparent.com/love/chem1.htm - 30k - Cached - Similar pages


The Pathology of LoveHelen Fisher of Rutger University suggests a three-phased model of falling in love. Each stage involves a distinct set of chemicals. ...
samvak.tripod.com/lovepathology.html (http://samvak.tripod.com/lovepathology.html) - 15k - Cached - Similar pages


Science of Love - Cupid's Chemistry - The Naked ScientistsThese love chemicals are controlled by a substance which is also found in chocolate and in strawberries, called PEA or phenylethylamine and it is PEA which ...
www.thenakedscientists.com/html/ Columnists/clairemcloughlincolumn1.htm - 21k - Cached - Similar pages

*****************************

From the above, it would appear that one possible cure is take some tranquilizers, discuss about it and hopefully get the solution to one's love problems, and maintain sanity at the same time.

For those contemplating suicide when your family or social group, reject your love for various reasons, seek help, psychological or medical. Not worth it, infactuation 'Love' is only transitionary chemicals.

For those attempting to murder your competitor in love, it is not worth it, it is only genetics, chemicals and evolutionary forces.

As for Baby's situation, i am no agony-uncle, but IMO, understanding root causes is one important basic approach to any problem.

Jose Mourinho
21-02-2006, 04:30 PM
Oh yes..let's just sweep the true meaning of 'Love' under the carpet and listen to some good ole romantic music shall we? Am wondering if anyone at all could find the lyrics to Perhaps Love..something to do with the wind, river and something. Thank you all.

You missed the whole point. But never mind.... :)

La Vida Loca
21-02-2006, 05:23 PM
From the above, it would appear that one possible cure is take some tranquilizers, discuss about it and hopefully get the solution to one's love problems, and maintain sanity at the same time.
A big toast to you Nic, this is the best thing i've heard the whole day. Was thinking of how to neutralise feelings of lovesick this morning. I was thinking along the lines of injecting a heavy dose of hatred and disgust, no man or woman is perfect after all.....and all that lovesick notion...poof, gone in an instance.

baby
21-02-2006, 10:35 PM
As for Baby's situation, i am no agony-uncle, but IMO, understanding root causes is one important basic approach to any problem.

Wow Nic, more than enough reading to keep me sane :D Thank you.

I guess there are no quick fix, one size fits all formula to any relationship problems. Just have to learn to love oneself before loving another. As selfish as it may sound, loving someone has always been conditional for me, and to the one who fell in love with me, tho it hasn't been verbal, but the conditions show over time.

Love responds to one's highest values and standards..kinda like feelings of hate and fear..

baby
21-02-2006, 10:42 PM
You missed the whole point. But never mind.... :)

Probably..for someone who has been uphill and downhill, heaven, hell and back..my apologies.

But perhaps as simple as it sounds, we can learn about love thru the sentiments of a song. Just like reading thru a writer's life and experience..up close and personal. Music and lyrics do have some significant part to play in everyone's memory.

jessi24
22-02-2006, 03:23 AM
I totally agree with you baby. If knowing what I want is selfish then I am extremely so. However we are human. Selfishness is part of human nature. It's just depending to what extent.
If you 'love' a person, the things you do will not be a sacrifice. If you love that person, know when to let go instead of hanging on until a 3rd party appears for comparison. The person you love should not be treated like a buoy until something better comes along.
When there is a discussion on love no one can give a correct answer. How a person loves depends entirely on how they were brought up, their values and principles in life. You can love a person who's values, thinking and principles in life differs but staying together till end do us part is difficult. It takes a lot of compromising from both parties. If one party is the giver and the other always the taker that is when the question 'is love a sacrifice' comes about.
I am not a martyr and never will be one. So if I am considered as selfish so be it.

kpc
22-02-2006, 08:52 AM
Baby,

Have you broken off with the jerk yet?
If you need me to introduce a new guy to you, just let me know.

Jose Mourinho
22-02-2006, 10:42 AM
But perhaps as simple as it sounds, we can learn about love thru the sentiments of a song. Just like reading thru a writer's life and experience..up close and personal. Music and lyrics do have some significant part to play in everyone's memory.

Na. That was not what I meant. But then, what did I mean? Thoughts and ideas flickered through my insane mind in temporary flashes. Now I really cannot remember what I meant.

:)

baby
22-02-2006, 09:53 PM
Na. That was not what I meant. But then, what did I mean? Thoughts and ideas flickered through my insane mind in temporary flashes. Now I really cannot remember what I meant.

:)

Nevermind. Great minds forget..alike. :D

baby
22-02-2006, 09:57 PM
Baby,

Have you broken off with the jerk yet?
If you need me to introduce a new guy to you, just let me know.

Kpc, you must be kidding man. You are the love expert in some old thread aren't you? :D

It's ok, thanks a lot anyway. You of all persons should know that one shouldn't jump into another realtionship so quickly after a break-up. If, there was a break-up.

patrick
27-02-2006, 05:57 PM
Kwchang is a scientist (and I say this with respect, not with mirth) and he views love in a very matter-of-a-fact-down-to-earth manner. He is right, you know. But for me, I view it via the music and lyrics of Perhaps Love - which makes me a romantic old fool, I guess.

:)

Ahhh...but if "music bethe food of love... play on"!!! ;-)

patrick
27-02-2006, 06:14 PM
Patrick, thank you for your honesty. I know, no 2 relationships are identical, and the reasons aren't always crystal clear. My personal life aside.

I am wondering.. if there could never be genuine love from an overly domineering person to another. I am saying, could a person with possessive traits, overprotectiveness, demanding, not capable of loving another at all? This person, could he/she lack self esteem, confidence or could he/she been a victim of a bad relationship?

Another question. No matter how bleak things might seem, is it not possible to revitalize a relationship wounded by what they call...infidelity?

Wow..soo much progress on luv since I was away!! ;-) Like the old saying...luv really makes the world go round huh?

Back to serious discussions.

First, I agree with you. "No 2 relationships are identical, and the reasons aren't always crystal clear." But certain issues should be fundamental regardless whether the reasons are clear or not. Short of saying that one is a masochist and luvs to be hurt. luv must care for how the other party feels. Regardless that you can luv him though he hurts you, the next big question then is how long such a relationship can go on. On the other hand, if one party is prepared to take the gamble, then fine! Have a bash at the relationship to test its depth.

Regardless whether one is domineering, demanding blah..blah..to me one things stands the test of true love. One must feel the hurt and pain of the the person that you luv at all times. But if by your very own behaviour, you dont even realize you have hurt the other party.....something is seriously wrong with the relationship. And I wouldnt bet my last dollar it will ever succeed.

Just infidelity alone is another issue. Humans have emotions and are by nature attracted to the opposite sex in one way or another. Sometimes one get carried away too far. But if the relationship is strong, it will withstand such trials and tribulations. Hence, depending on the extent and circumstances of the infidelity, I feel it should be a different subject of contention.

But strictly on the issues of "possessive traits, overprotectiveness, demanding......", such traits are just not compatible with love. No two way about it...sorry. How can one even dare to consider loving another if he/she has no compassion and empathy for the other person?

baby
27-02-2006, 11:20 PM
Patrick, after so many postings and replies on love, I'm kinda getting the idea already. Thanks for all your feedbacks! If being with someone is so darn difficult to begin with, I mean fighting and hurting and abusing each other mentally almost every single day; what is there to hold on... No one is truly indispensable in this case.

baby
27-02-2006, 11:21 PM
But sadly, a lot of women friends I know stay put in the worst relationships..all for the sake of their children. Some, even comtemplated ending their lives at least one time in their lives but luckily, none of them ever did succeed.

Perhaps the most important change we could make when faced with a difficult relationship is to heal ourselves firstly..not just trying to change the other person in order to make ourselves happy. It would not be genuine..but it'd be a delicious irony if the other person sees the change in us we might find they actually DO start changing..and in ways we could not even have imagined or hoped for. Well, this might not work for some, however. While this may seem like a negative outcome, the situation may actually free us to seek a stronger and more healthy partnership, because we are stronger and more healthy. In the head.

:)

AllUrban
28-02-2006, 06:14 PM
This article details one of the more interesting ways to meet the right person. For one year the woman in the article agreed to every date that was offered to her.

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1141037292230&call_pageid=991479973472&col=991929131147

Of course, as you later learn, meeting the right person requires you to be patient and deal with a lot of the wrong people...

Well, whoever said love was supposed to be easy.

Cheers, m

CCY
28-02-2006, 08:57 PM
Admin note - spam site address removed

Do you have to post everywhere and spam this site ah.....???

patrick
28-02-2006, 09:58 PM
Patrick, after so many postings and replies on love, I'm kinda getting the idea already. Thanks for all your feedbacks! If being with someone is so darn difficult to begin with, I mean fighting and hurting and abusing each other mentally almost every single day; what is there to hold on... No one is truly indispensable in this case.

Good to know you are getting the hang of things. I see many singles these days just move on and live happily even staying singles. the moral of the story is if indeed you cant find the one to make each other happy, then stay happy single. Some famous person one said "Success in marriage consists not so much in marrying the one person who can make you happy as in getting away from the many who can make you miserable". So if you read in between the lines, to be happy, it is first getting away from the many that will make you miserable.

Rgds.

patrick
28-02-2006, 10:05 PM
But sadly, a lot of women friends I know stay put in the worst relationships..all for the sake of their children. Some, even comtemplated ending their lives at least one time in their lives but luckily, none of them ever did succeed....
:)

You are right. Many do. And you right, many did contemplate suicide. But mind you, many did try seriously and sadly, quite a number did succeed. Sometimes, you just dont get to know about it.

And many are not so fortunate to be literate enough to be able to get it off their chest like you and I. So you can appreciate the good and hard work put in by volunteer groups like the Befrienders. They work incredibly hard with very little praises being sung.

mon
28-02-2006, 10:29 PM
Just to answer Baby's thread on love hurts. Yes it does. Yes it always. Yes it will. Will it be easy? No. Is it essential? Yes.

I want to believe it is better to have "loved and lost" than to "never have loved at all". There will always be romance, elation, joy, sorrow and pain...even boredom...Everyone whom has delivered us love, whom we have loved and loving still, is special in their own ways. Do not regret them, learn from them. It is never a mistake to fall in love..

“Sometimes you meet somebody and you know that whatever you did before, it must have been right.... nothing could've been too bad or gone too wrong because it led you to this person."

orchipalar
28-02-2006, 11:25 PM
Baby, Have you broken off with the jerk yet?
If you need me to introduce a new guy to you, just let me know.Err hallo...chances are she or he be jumping off from one jerk...to err...ahem...another BIGGER jerk...

baby
01-03-2006, 09:50 AM
Err hallo...chances are she or he be jumping off from one jerk...to err...ahem...another BIGGER jerk...

Orchipalar sir, thank you. It's true la, from one jerk to another is no joke man. By the way, if kpc could give us some biodata of that person, perhaps you guys could screen him first. Hee hee... :D

Jose Mourinho
01-03-2006, 10:00 AM
How can I screen him since I never have any interest (platonic or otherwise) in men and thus I would not even know where to begin ar?

:D

johnmichael
01-03-2006, 11:26 AM
I want to believe it is better to have "loved and lost" than to "never have loved at all".

words of someone truly sentimental.. however, not many will agree. for those who have trouble grasping the idea, here are some parallels..

its better to have gambled and lost, rather than never to have gambled at all
its better to be drunk and arrested for DUI, rather than never to have a drink at all
its better to have smoked and have lung cancer, rather than never to have smoked at all
its better to have womanized and diseased, rather than never to have womanized at all
...and the list goes on..

mon
01-03-2006, 11:40 AM
words of someone truly sentimental.. however, not many will agree..

We can close our eyes to the things we do not want to see, but we cannot close our hearts to the things we do not want to feel..

Jose Mourinho
01-03-2006, 11:56 AM
Mon. I agree with you.

Choon1980
01-03-2006, 12:00 PM
I want to believe it is better to have "loved and lost" than to "never have loved at all". There will always be romance, elation, joy, sorrow and pain...even boredom...Everyone whom has delivered us love, whom we have loved and loving still, is special in their own ways. Do not regret them, learn from them. It is never a mistake to fall in love..


In hindsight, I'd prefer to never have loved at all, rather than loved and lost. Because that's what happened to me for more than a decade. I loved. I gave everything I could possibly give. My time. My energy. My money. My dignity. My emotions. And what do I have to show for it for all that sacrifice? Zilch. Zero. Nothing. Nada.

One of the biggest mistakes I made in my life was to fall in love. I did learn something though. I've learned that you can never live up to a woman's standards, expectations and demands. While men should do nothing but treat women with respect and courtesy, women have no problems humiliating guys and treating them as, at best, pets. Pets to be kept around for awhile for fun, then flushed down the toilet when they get bored.

I've had it. I've given up on love. There's many other better things I can do with my time, without having to feel like you've just been played for a fool. From now on, when it comes to romance, I should treat you women the same way you did to me for more than ten years: with utter contempt. Maybe the reason so many of you women are saddled with jerks is because you deserve it. Ever think about that?

Jose Mourinho
01-03-2006, 12:02 PM
Ever wonder why this happened to you and not many others?

:)

Choon1980
01-03-2006, 12:04 PM
I used to. Not anymore.

And who says there aren't many others?

Jose Mourinho
01-03-2006, 12:09 PM
It works both way. The ladies have the same to say about this. But in the end, love must have conquered all (forgive the sentimental phrase) because people all over the world do fall in love, get married, have children and their children do fall in love, get married and have more children.

:)

Choon1980
01-03-2006, 12:13 PM
There's also people all over the world that do fall on love but don't get married, and don't have children. Like you said. It works both ways.

Choon1980
01-03-2006, 12:14 PM
Sorry, I should make that more clear. It should be

"do fall in love. get screwed over. don't get married. and don't have children"

Jose Mourinho
01-03-2006, 12:19 PM
The minority. Or the population of the world would have tapered off.

Choon1980
01-03-2006, 12:24 PM
That would depend on how many kids couples have.

And woohoo! It sure makes feel warm and fuzzy inside that I get to belong in such an elite, minority group...

baby
01-03-2006, 04:54 PM
Maybe the reason so many of you women are saddled with jerks is because you deserve it. Ever think about that?

Choon1980. You are such a sour thing. Don't be so sour la. Women in general are not bad people. There must be reasons as to why some things had to happen. I do not want to sound like a love expert here because I'm also dangling like a monkey scratching my head thinking about love and what makes it worth. But one thing I do know is, like what Mon has said, do not regret it. Don't feel like nobody's worth our love. We can close our eyes to many things, but we can never stop love from happening. We could love the worst, nastiest person in the whole wide world and at the end, there's always something worth about it.

'Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.'

alexhay
01-03-2006, 05:02 PM
Either women or men, if they understand what is love then there will be no breakup..seen cases that couple been dated for almost 10 years and yet still get seperated.

All this is on the heart itself. I am not a love specialist or expert, but to me love is based on communication and understanding....

For me, I have been single for the past 4 years and yet I am still happy although my mom are kinda hurrying me..;)

Always remember this, love the person that love you more than you love him or her...

Choon1980
01-03-2006, 05:21 PM
Women in general are not bad people.

Women as friends, I have no problem with that. Once romance is thrown in, I've found out that they've made me, as what you said, a sour person. And that's putting it mildly.



There must be reasons as to why some things had to happen.

Same thing goes as to why some people can get away with 5 years of murder (especially when compared to stealing spoons!), or why we keep letting the Government walk over us day after day. And as I posted here before, I used to think about it a lot. Not any more.


We could love the worst, nastiest person in the whole wide world and at the end, there's always something worth about it.

No. Never. The girls/women which I fell for in the past definitely weren't "nasty" people, and even then they still apparently enjoy ripping a guy's heart out and eating it. And then after that, they still "want to be friends".

baby
01-03-2006, 05:30 PM
No. Never. The girls/women which I fell for in the past definitely weren't "nasty" people, and even then they still apparently enjoy ripping a guy's heart out and eating it. And then after that, they still "want to be friends".

Still so sour one. Ok la, don't friend them.

Anyway, if they still want to remain friends, no harm right. Just end on a friendly basis and no need to hate each other isn't that better? To hate someone takes a lot of energy and effort don't you think? Better to be at peace with ourselves.

Ok ok Choon. No more girlfriends for you. Got it.

But you'll never know when cupid might hit again. :D

orchipalar
02-03-2006, 01:21 AM
In hindsight, I'd prefer to never have loved at all, rather than loved and lost. Because that's what happened to me for more than a decade. I loved. I gave everything I could possibly give. My time. My energy. My money. My dignity. My emotions. And what do I have to show for it for all that sacrifice? Zilch. Zero. Nothing. Nada.

One of the biggest mistakes I made in my life was to fall in love. I did learn something though. I've learned that you can never live up to a woman's standards, expectations and demands. While men should do nothing but treat women with respect and courtesy, women have no problems humiliating guys and treating them as, at best, pets. Pets to be kept around for awhile for fun, then flushed down the toilet when they get bored.

I've had it. I've given up on love. There's many other better things I can do with my time, without having to feel like you've just been played for a fool. From now on, when it comes to romance, I should treat you women the same way you did to me for more than ten years: with utter contempt. Maybe the reason so many of you women are saddled with jerks is because you deserve it. Ever think about that?Err sorry...dear Choon1980:)...Orchi is NOT any expert in the topic of love...but somehow Orchi gathers...the women or gals whom you have dated...did NOT fall in love with you to begin with... :o

Choon1980
02-03-2006, 08:48 AM
Isn't it obvious?

kpc
02-03-2006, 08:56 AM
if kpc could give us some biodata of that person, perhaps you guys could screen him first. Hee hee... :D

Baby,

Pls answer the following questions so we can find you Mr Right.
You prefer

1. Rich or Poor
2. Handsome or Not So Handsome
3. Smart or Not So Smart
4. Witty or Slow
5. Confident or Shy
6. Preferred religion and race ( if any )
7. Age range
8. Stay with parents, frens or alone
9. Single, Divorced, Widower or Married
10. A lot of experience in love or Newbie
11. Car, motorbike or bicycle
12. Homely or Clubbing type
13. Dominant or Subservient
14. Brave or coward
15. Strong or weak drive

baby
02-03-2006, 10:07 AM
Baby,

Pls answer the following questions so we can find you Mr Right.
You prefer



kpc, I would like someone as intellectual as our forumers Jose Mourinho, Orchipalar, PcYeoh and...KWChang. Nothing less. Thank you.

kpc
02-03-2006, 10:14 AM
kpc, I would like someone as intellectual as our forumers Jose Mourinho, Orchipalar, PcYeoh and...KWChang. Nothing less. Thank you.

That means you prefer smart guys. That settles criteria No. 3.
But all these guys are married, does that mean you prefer married guys ? (No.9)

What about criteria No. 1, rich or poor ?

baby
02-03-2006, 10:17 AM
That means you prefer smart guys. That settles No. 2.
But all these guys are married, does that mean you prefer married guys ? (No.9)

What about criteria No. 1, rich or poor ?

You didn't get me. Ok let me rephrase. I would like to have Jose Mourinho, Orchipalar, PcYeoh or KWChang. Nothing less. Thank you.

kpc
02-03-2006, 10:22 AM
You didn't get me. Ok let me rephrase. I would like to have Jose Mourinho, Orchipalar, PcYeoh or KWChang. Nothing less. Thank you.

What about the other criterias?
You need to help us to help you....

kokomo
02-03-2006, 11:44 AM
What about the other criterias?
You need to help us to help you....

Quote:
Originally Posted by baby
You didn't get me. Ok let me rephrase. I would like to have Jose Mourinho, Orchipalar, PcYeoh or KWChang. Nothing less. Thank you.

kpc, what baby meant is she dun need your help la .. she have Jose, Orchi, PC & KW .. let her find her own fate ma .. i think would also prefers that way! :)

Jose Mourinho
02-03-2006, 11:46 AM
What about the other criterias?
You need to help us to help you....

Be careful here. What do you mean by 'us'? Don't drag others into your stagnant pool of muddy water please.

:D

kokomo
02-03-2006, 01:07 PM
Be careful here. What do you mean by 'us'? Don't drag others into your stagnant pool of muddy water please.

:D

Totally agree wif you! :)

kpc
02-03-2006, 01:21 PM
That means you prefer smart guys. That settles criteria No. 3.


Wait a minute, some of these guys are not that smart.......
Can you pls confirm, you prefer smart or not so smart guys?

PeterHng
02-03-2006, 01:31 PM
kpc, give yourself a chance lah....

johnmichael
02-03-2006, 01:34 PM
Wait a minute, some of these guys are not that smart.......


i think baby was refering to this:

"José Mourinho completa este domingo 40 anos. Cumpre também um ano à frente do F.C. Porto. Um ano que transformou o jovem lobo no técnico português mais" (that's in his native tongue)

Kito
02-03-2006, 01:38 PM
Hmm, love nowdays are blind by money and outlook. Some ppl cannot see wat's inside us. They overlook us. But those who knows you are your true love partner.

orchipalar
02-03-2006, 01:53 PM
Wait a minute, some of these guys are not that smart.......
Can you pls confirm, you prefer smart or not so smart guys?Err...mind your words...who are you calling not so smart guys...?

n you for one is out of bound in this thread so far...swaying off tangent with the topic of this thread...

johnmichael
02-03-2006, 02:17 PM
poor orchi.. its difficult to live up to being an "idol", eh? anyway, u should ask kpc to be more specific.. to be fair.. he put it as.. some ... and not all..

kpc
02-03-2006, 04:25 PM
Let's say you enter a room full of people.

Then you shout, hey handsome !

The ones that think they are handsome will turn around and look at you
or reply your call right?

:)

johnmichael
02-03-2006, 04:29 PM
Let's say you enter a room full of people.

Then you shout, hey handsome !

The ones that think they are handsome will turn around and look at you
or reply your call right?

:)

to make it more interesting, u should also have ur digital camera ready, and post the pic of the people here.. wonder how many familiar faces u would find?

Kito
02-03-2006, 04:29 PM
lol, i think most guys will turn around. All perasan is them. LOL

baby
02-03-2006, 04:41 PM
Hello Hello! kpc, who says any of the guys I admire in this forum are not so smart and what is it...handsome?? Aiyo..if they are not so smart, they would keep replying to your silly questions liao.


Let's say you enter a room full of people.
Then you shout, hey handsome !
The ones that think they are handsome will turn around and look at you
or reply your call right?
:)

I think you'll be the first one to turn around.

By the way, nothing wrong in admiring anyone here..no need to marry them one right? And also, thanks but no thanks again. I'm contented with just admiring people, no plans for dating at the moment. Got it?

orchipalar
02-03-2006, 04:49 PM
Let's say you enter a room full of people.

Then you shout, hey handsome !

The ones that think they are handsome will turn around and look at you
or reply your call right? :)Err...Kpc:)...perhaps it is wiser that you start another thread of your own...should you have a different subject to talk about...please do not hijack this thread...

kokomo
02-03-2006, 05:06 PM
Where's the 'pisang' king today arh? hehe .. got ppl hijack thread orh ..

I think kpc, u should end da topic of smart n not smart guys / handsome n not handsome guys .. ppl now talkin' bout love hurts aje .. if you want, then maybe you can share your experience of love hurts wif us in here ...

baby don't need recommendation la .. she's got enuf headache oledi handling guys .. that's queing now! :cool:

kpc
02-03-2006, 05:45 PM
Similarly,

When I said "some forumers are not so smart",
The ones that answers "Who you calling not so smart?" could be the ones that felt least secure about their IQ level? :)

orchipalar
02-03-2006, 07:09 PM
Wait a minute, some of these guys are not that smart.......
Can you pls confirm, you prefer smart or not so smart guys?
When I said "some forumers are not so smart",
The ones that answers "Who you calling not so smart?" could be the ones that felt least secure about their IQ level? :)Err...Kpc...so you actually meant to diminish the forumers whom you mentioned in your previous post...

mon
02-03-2006, 08:42 PM
Similarly,

When I said "some forumers are not so smart",
The ones that answers "Who you calling not so smart?" could be the ones that felt least secure about their IQ level? :)

I'll tell you a secret kpc...

Anyone who tries to make someone else feel bad about themselves is themselves insecure in that exact area.

Hence someone who tries to make you feel stupid, is insecure about their intelligence themselves.

Also, compassion and empathy are signs of maturity and intelligence that generally don't go along with people who think they are smart. Hence, if you are trying to be sarcastic here, look hard at yourself first. Are you that smart and IQ level so fantastically high to the extend of having to question others.

kokomo
02-03-2006, 10:53 PM
Well said mon :cool:

kwchang
02-03-2006, 11:15 PM
Where's the 'pisang' king today arh? hehe .. got ppl hijack thread orh ..
I was away from KL, attending a conference for parasitologists. It was nice to be away for 2 days, listening to scientists and generally paying back my sleep debt (slept earlier at night and also fell asleep on some boring presentations!!)

So... looks like you guys set the verdict that KPC was up to his old tricks again. Sigh... have to slap him with a banana for hijacking the topic to his slant of ideology.

kpc
03-03-2006, 08:39 AM
Mon,

Why did you betray our love to Orchi?

ghj
03-03-2006, 08:55 AM
Your spouse may not be the most romantic person in the world, but you know there is love if your spouse will not accept another. Isn't that the key?

:p I like this simple yet INTENSE and MEANINGFUL expression of this sentense.

^^ Yes, this shows that your partner is loyal to you even if there is someone out there who are much much attractive and better. If he/she still remain with you no matter what you will know that it is LOVE

if that person chooses to be with you though he/she can actually be somewhere else which is more lively and fun... but yet.. he/she chooses to stay with you... it is LOVE

if that person has something else to do or has elsewhere to go but he/she chooses to keep you company, you will know that it is LOVE :rolleyes:

:cool:

Nic_of_Time
03-03-2006, 01:33 PM
Mon
Anyone who tries to make someone else feel bad about themselves is themselves insecure in that exact area.
Hence someone who tries to make you feel stupid, is insecure about their intelligence themselves.

In psychology they call it Projection,



[B]2a. Freudian Projection[/ (http://www.heretical.com/sexsci/bpsychol.html)B]
The following is a collection of definitions of projection from orthodox psychology texts. In this system the distinct mechanism of projecting own unconscious or undesirable characteristics onto an opponent is called Freudian Projection.

"A defense mechanism in which the individual attributes to other people impulses and traits that he himself has but cannot accept. It is especially likely to occur when the person lacks insight into his own impulses and traits."

"The externalisation of internal unconscious wishes, desires or emotions on to other people. So, for example, someone who feels subconsciously that they have a powerful latent homosexual drive may not acknowledge this consciously, but it may show in their readiness to suspect others of being homosexual."

"Attributing one's own undesirable traits to other people or agencies, e.g., an aggressive man accuses other people of being hostile."

"The individual perceives in others the motive he denies having himself. Thus the cheat is sure that everyone else is dishonest. The would-be adulterer accuses his wife of infidelity."

"People attribute their own undesirable traits onto others. An individual who unconsciously recognises his or her aggressive tendencies may then see other people acting in an excessively aggressive way."

"Projection is the opposite defence mechanism to identification. We project our own unpleasant feelings onto someone else and blame them for having thoughts that we really have."

baby
03-03-2006, 01:38 PM
In psychology they call it Projection,

Thank you Nic. I've been scratching my head wondering about this post by kpc. I really have no idea what he was trying to say.


Mon,

Why did you betray our love to Orchi?

Weird. Is kpc in a denial mode?

Jose Mourinho
03-03-2006, 01:45 PM
Huh? You mean he loves Orchi? Aiyooh.

:)

baby
03-03-2006, 01:46 PM
Huh? You mean he loves Orchi? Aiyooh.

:)

urggh...meaning I have no chance with Orchi liao...sigh.. :D

love truly hurts so bad..

mcool
03-04-2006, 10:26 PM
love is actually an emotional game played by two risk takers.................................never knowing whether u will win in d end or not by putting ALL IN

lilifjp
04-04-2006, 01:03 AM
Dear Baby, you are such a sweet person from all the postings. Don't let a stupid jerk ruin your whole life. You deserve better things in life. To love and be loved. To be pampered. If anyone were to hurt you deeply by two timing you, it is best to leave that person/problem behind. If you are staying in the same house, shift out. If you are both in the same office, change job. It will not help if you see each other everyday and you get hurt everytime you see him dating someone else.

Perhaps a new environment will keep your mind off things. Out of sight of the person is out of mind.

Forget the past and have in mind that you definately deserve someone better who can pamper you till your golden age.

Sorry about your friends that tried to commit suicide. I have 2 friends who have committed suicide and died. One could be from Post Natal Depression last year and another because the HK guy she loves left her. She had to take care of her own child all by herself & fall into depression.

I am not saying that all heart broken people may commit suicide. I think it takes serious thinking and extreme pressure to be pushed into that situation. But to release the pressure by sharing with your friends/via a community website helps alot.

KW Chang, you are a nice guy. I think this thread should still be here. Most of us read it and just be amused. :)

Good nite. Baby, I pray that you will find your price charming soon. -Li Li-

mon
04-04-2006, 08:45 AM
I can see a smile on baby's face. :)

SunwayKid
04-04-2006, 11:46 AM
....................Out of sight of the person is out of mind.......


But...........for some, absence do makes the heart grow fonder. :)

Someone once said.........Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. It's a mystery.

Jose Mourinho
04-04-2006, 12:15 PM
KW Chang, you are a nice guy. I think this thread should still be here. Most of us read it and just be amused. :)

Do I take this to mean that you support the motion that this thread should not be moved to a sub-forum? However calling Kwchang a nice guy is not going to help your cause. He has indicated in many posts that he moderates without fear or favour.

:)

alexhay
04-04-2006, 12:43 PM
urggh...meaning I have no chance with Orchi liao...sigh.. :D

love truly hurts so bad..

baby....u always have the chance with me :P :P :P

kokomo
04-04-2006, 01:48 PM
hehe .. alex, very positive of you tryin' luck evrywhere huh?!?! :D

alexhay
04-04-2006, 02:17 PM
aiya...kokomo..dun larr break my secret...after sakaibear will know what to do already :p

He will sing the song 'Smoke Get In Your Eyes'

kokomo
04-04-2006, 02:24 PM
Where got secret to break? heheh .. just a mere comment only ma. ;)

BTW, we also dunno whether sakaibear can really sing anot? hehe .. hopefully he did not read bout tis .. :rolleyes:

alexhay
04-04-2006, 02:32 PM
yeah mar....have to try luck marr..:) hope baby wont misunderstood :)

evecyanide
04-04-2006, 06:09 PM
Alex, our gathering the otherday, got so many leng luis, you tak berkenan with anyone of them meh? :p

alexhay
04-04-2006, 06:17 PM
got..the person is you mar...but you married already so i no chance lorr :p

evecyanide
04-04-2006, 06:20 PM
eiye.... make me blush only :p

alexhay
04-04-2006, 06:32 PM
aiya...no need to blush marr.....:p

baby
04-04-2006, 08:19 PM
Oi?? Chit chatting in my thread ar? :D Like my invisible avatar or not?

Just wanna say bye bye to all you good kind fun loving people. I gotta go away, gonna take a looooonnnnnggg holiday. Take care, see you all again sometime in the near future. :)

alexhay
04-04-2006, 08:20 PM
bye bye and have a nice holiday................

evecyanide
04-04-2006, 08:43 PM
Baby, enjoy your hols! Come back soon!

SunwayKid
04-04-2006, 09:57 PM
Aiseh....... baby, before you go, can I have that avatar of yours to put under my pillow, need to replace Selene who has caught the attention of others.
:)

orchipalar
04-04-2006, 11:28 PM
Just wanna say bye bye to all you good kind fun loving people. I gotta go away, gonna take a looooonnnnnggg holiday. Take care, see you all again sometime in the near future. :)Aiyooooo!...hopes this is not too late...

Ahem hey Babe:)...you going alone ar?...why you not yet say bye bye to Orchi wor...how? :(

AllUrban
05-04-2006, 05:07 PM
This story in the NST caught my eye just now....It made me quite sad.

Man found dead after parents’ objection (http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/nst/Wednesday/National/20060405074727/Article/index_html)

Love certainly hurts.

Thoughts/opinions are welcome.

m

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 06:27 PM
Very, very sad.

I think he's stupid to take his own life. That doesn't solve anything but gives extra burden/sorrow to his parents and wife. Especially his poor wife who now has to bring up their child alone, and without the love of a father. And no guarantees that the guy's parents are going to accept his wife and baby.

alexhay
05-04-2006, 06:30 PM
hmm..the guy is in between...you might not know what had really happen behind the scene...

maybe he been caught in the act with the malay girl thus he was forced to convert or maybe its true love that he convert..

his parents should had accepted his decision on the marriage.

orchipalar
05-04-2006, 07:10 PM
Err...half a century ago...a young Chinese man was slapped...scolded n even got chased out of the house...repeatedly by his uncle then for choosing n wanting to marry a Cantonese gal...he ended up marrying the gal of his choice...

Ahem...now this man has converted...married a Muslim gal n they have a baby already...but eventually after some objections from his parents...he went to kill himself...???

Err...he is NOT a MAN...n NOTHING but a freaking coward...!!!

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 07:12 PM
A coward indeed. Loser with a capital L.

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 07:13 PM
I think he's stupid to take his own life. That doesn't solve anything but gives extra burden/sorrow to his parents and wife. Especially his poor wife who now has to bring up their child alone, and without the love of a father. And no guarantees that the guy's parents are going to accept his wife and baby.

Not only stupid but incredibly selfish also. He only thinks of himself only. Cyanide. I agree with what you have said.

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 07:18 PM
Yes, selfish is the word. People who commits suicide does not think about the impact and shock on his/her loved ones.

I knew a boy once. Nice fella. Very talkative and cheeful guy. One day, his best friend found him dead, hanging from the ceiling fan. He used the cord from the iron to hang himself. Poor best friend of his, trauma till this very day.

mon
05-04-2006, 07:19 PM
I would say that we're not in the right position to call this man cowardice. Seriously, although he had taken his own life (not sure if it's true or not) he had done something not many cowards would dare to do. For me I just pity his life and his family's. May they all find solace after this incident.

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 07:21 PM
I would say that we're not in the right position to call this man cowardice. Seriously, although he had taken his own life (not sure if it's true or not) he had done something not many cowards would dare to do. For me I just pity his life and his family's. May they all find solace after this incident.

Mon is right. The man may be selfish and stupid but hardly a coward. It is not easy to kill oneself. Try that out. I once tried to slit my own wrists but I chickened out.

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 07:25 PM
Try the less painful way lah.... take a bottle of panadol with JD or such :p

Jose. I'm ashamed to say I tried slitting my wrists too (once upon a time) :( Good thing I didn't die cos I've now discovered a whole new beautiful world :)

orchipalar
05-04-2006, 08:12 PM
...The man may be selfish and stupid but hardly a coward. It is not easy to kill oneself. Try that out. I once tried to slit my own wrists but I chickened out.Err...on the contrary...he was NOT stupid to learn how to die...painlessly...by inhaling exhaust fumes...channelled from his car's exhaust muffler...:rolleyes:

Ahem...only people whom may have attempted to bleed to a painful death... by slitting their own wrists...could themselves be...err...stupid...so to speak...

Err...n according to Aristotle ~ Greek philosopher, student of Plato, tutor of Alexander the Great

"To run away from trouble is a form of cowardice and, while it is true that the suicide braves death, he does it not for some noble object but to escape some ill."

Err...n so says...Aesop ~ Greek writer, Aesop�s Fables: animal stories illustrating human challenges

"Only cowards insult dying majesty."

Ahem...n the Catholic Encyclopedia says...http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14326b.htm...

"the natural termination of a life of disorder, weakness, and cowardice."

"those unfortunates who, impelled by despair or anger, attempt their life often act through malice or culpable cowardice."

Err...n this is what Orchi thinks...n Orchi can’t help but see suicide as the ultimate act of cowardice...n nothing more.

It is basically a way of saying...err...he can’t handle what every other person deals with at some point...or rather in their life...so he is going to end any chance of things getting better...??? :rolleyes:

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 08:20 PM
Orchipalar. I think we are on different wave-lengths. But since you took the trouble and time to search for all the references from the Internet (Thank God for Internet for before that most men would have been illiterate), then I would submit that you may be right with your own submission. But then I assure you that we are talking about different things altogether. You and I would never think along the same wave-length because I am just an old man and a simpleton ar.

And this simpleton thinks that suicide is a very personal thing that only the person going to or commiting it would know (such as Cyanide and Jose). All those quotations mean absolutely nothing. Quotations are best used to support theories on management studies or medical studies etc. You know. When a student is doing his/her thesis. After all, I do not give a toss what some fairy tale writer has to say about my sex life but I do care when it is from the medical journal for the sexually deviant and perverted. That is my view la. But then who am I but a simpleton? Just ignore my rambling and move on la.

:)

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 08:22 PM
Jose. I'm ashamed to say I tried slitting my wrists too (once upon a time) :( Good thing I didn't die cos I've now discovered a whole new beautiful world :)

Cyanide. When and if we do meet us, let's compare scars.

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 08:31 PM
Jose. Sure can. Though it's nuthin to be proud of. BTW, try applying vit e on your scars. It works. Scars not so prominent anymore. Aren't you glad that you are still alive and kicking! I am! :)

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 08:33 PM
I don't know how to comment further but i totally agree with Orchi lor...

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 08:35 PM
Jose. Sure can. Though it's nuthin to be proud of. BTW, try applying vit e on your scars. It works. Scars not so prominent anymore. Aren't you glad that you are still alive and kicking! I am! :)

No. I leave my scars to remind me of the times when I thought that to be alive was no longer important to me.

mon
05-04-2006, 08:39 PM
Cyanide. When and if we do meet us, let's compare scars.

Hey you both don't forget me. No ifs. When. Let me buy you both something on the rocks. And hugs for eve.
:)

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 08:40 PM
Err...n this is what Orchi thinks...n Orchi can’t help but see suicide as the ultimate act of cowardice...n nothing more.

I do accept your viewpoint and you have the absolute right to it. All I am saying is that the ultimate act of cowardice is not suicide but pretending to be somebody a person is not because he/she is living a life based on lies. Don't get me wrong - in many cases, the person actually grows to believe that the lies are truths. And then they become truths.

But back to the subject of suicide and ultimate cowardice - it takes a lot of courage to slit one's wrists or neck. It is not whether the act is going to cause pain or not but rather you know that in the next few seconds or minutes, you are no longer you but no more. The very thought is so terrifying it is enough to stop many of those who are contemplating suicides.

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 08:41 PM
Hey you both don't forget me. No ifs. When. Let me buy you both something on the rocks. And hugs for eve.
:)

Why hugs for Cyanide only? What have you got against an old man in a wheelchair ar?

mon
05-04-2006, 08:44 PM
Why hugs for Cyanide only? What have you got against an old man in a wheelchair ar?


:D I know you gonna say something. Ok. I spare you from the horrifying experience of having to let me dig your brains out. But no promises. You might have to have one of your legs pulled longer. Heehee..

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 08:52 PM
:D I know you gonna say something. Ok. I spare you from the horrifying experience of having to let me dig your brains out. But no promises. You might have to have one of your legs pulled longer. Heehee..

Gee. In that case. Let me die in one piece (and peace).

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 09:51 PM
Mon. Hugs back right at cha :)

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 09:52 PM
You two hug each other and leave me standing there like a total rejected fool that I am? So sad.

evecyanide
05-04-2006, 09:54 PM
You got angelina jolie mah....

orchipalar
05-04-2006, 10:01 PM
You two hug each other and leave me standing there like a total rejected fool that I am? So sad.Err...thought you said you were wheelchair bound...? :p

Jose Mourinho
05-04-2006, 10:06 PM
Err...thought you said you were wheelchair bound...? :p

Standing Here is figuratively speaking. Figuratively as opposite of Literally? Yes? No?

:D

lilifjp
06-04-2006, 12:50 AM
Aiyo, Orchi..... If someone going to commit suicide, they will definately not read the catholic link. :rolleyes: No time to search internet lar.

Hugs to Jose & Eve for being brave enough to share their secrets.

Best to be a good listener and help those who have been heart broken :(

mon
06-04-2006, 01:51 AM
I once tried to slit my own wrists but I chickened out.

Can't sleep on this one. Jose, have you really tried to kill yourself? Serious?

mon
06-04-2006, 01:56 AM
Ahem...only people whom may have attempted to bleed to a painful death... by slitting their own wrists...could themselves be...err...stupid...so to speak...


Can't sleep on this one too. Orchi. Not right to call people stupid. They would only be answerable to God for taking their own lives. Since we truly do not understand his mind at that fateful moment, better to leave him to his own destiny yes?

Teeque
06-04-2006, 02:17 AM
Erm...hey ppl...live for love, not die for or with it...

orchipalar
06-04-2006, 02:19 AM
Err...Mon dear:)...it's perfectly ok to come to terms with any disagreements in any case...n with this case as well...

Ahem...they should take upon themselves to at least realise that...there are more people suffering with worst fates n in more desperations than what they are experiencing at the time...n in the very likelihood of those circumstances that are even beyond imaginable proportions...

Err...one couldn't be any less of a coward...to have decided that by dying...he or she could expect the troubling matter to resolves by itself...or that it would end...by his or her suicidal act...

n suffice to say that...it's only appropriate...he or she could also be termed as stupid...for even NOT knowing or thinking of any easier methods of dying an almost painless n certain death...

Err...it is believed that...those who might choose to slit their wrists at an attempted suicide...are in many instances or circumstances...doing it for bluffs n threats only...ahem...it could be the least effective of all suicidal attempts...

Ahem...should their minds be thinking more to die for certain...they mostly would choose to jump of a tall building...force themselves to inhale as much of the lethal LPG gas in a gas filled room...swallow as many sleeping pills...or do what that man did...by inhaling the lethal exhaust fumes from his car...to end their lives...almost as painlessly n equally as quickly...:rolleyes:

Jose Mourinho
06-04-2006, 08:02 AM
Suffice to say that...it's only appropriate...he or she could also be termed as stupid...for even NOT knowing or thinking of any easier methods of dying an almost painless n certain death...

Perhaps pain is part of the sacrifice a person wants to go through when commiting suicide? In Angelina Jolie's case, she made small cuts on her body with a razor blade and she said she reached orgasms from them.


Err...it is believed that...those who might choose to slit their wrists at an attempted suicide...are in many instances or circumstances...doing it for bluffs n threats only ..ahem...it could be the least effective of all suicidal attempts...

Bluffs and threats? That is really over generalization to the extreme. I agree with your earlier submission when you mentioned to Mon that it was alright to agree/disagree but let's not jump into a one-rule-fits-all situation which can only come from a Final Destination movie.

:)

Jose Mourinho
06-04-2006, 08:18 AM
Can't sleep on this one. Jose, have you really tried to kill yourself? Serious?

According to Orchipalar, people who slit their wrists are only bluffing only. Yes? Actually it was quite fun trying to kill ourselves.

:)

AllUrban
06-04-2006, 05:25 PM
I read the "Bring it to Big Bro" column in the Star Newspaper, when it shows up...dunno why exactly. Perhaps to get a better understanding of relationships in general. Perhaps so I can understand what concerns my students (or people like them) have.

Many of the relationship posers talk about people who want to break up with a partner. However, the partner suggests that they will do harm to themselves, in order to get the gf or bf to relent.

Many of these people are young teenagers, and their feelings are so intense (because of the hormones + chemicals), it leads to such desperation.

I guess thats why the article made me so sad...the depression and the cause of the depression and the response that the man chose...

Hmm...another thing about suicide in general...a lot of people who are jumpers commit/attempt because they feel a mesmerization or something pulling them to jump.

M has personally seen jumpers at Niagara Falls in Canada, and has felt that pull himself. Also, there is a bridge in Toronto called the Bloor Viaduct, that is famous as a "suicide landmark," 2nd only to the Golden Gate Bridge in SanFran California.

Suicide makes me sad. The other elements of the story made me sadder.

If I may say so to one and all, I read some very thoughtful responses. Thank you kindly.

Cheers, m

Teeque
07-04-2006, 03:10 AM
AllUrban,

In Malaysia, we hv the Penang Bridge. There is this now famous 'legend' that a woman can be found wandering near the highest point of the bridge as that was the spot where she jumped off. When you turn around and look again, the woman 'disappears'. And that will be the sign for you to floor the accelerator and hightail it out of there... :)

mon
07-04-2006, 09:25 AM
AllUrban,

.. a woman can be found wandering near the highest point of the bridge as that was the spot where she jumped off. When you turn around and look again, the woman 'disappears'.

Why ar? The woman's spirit is not at ease is it? She must have suffered a lot when she was alive, most of the time for love or money ya.
But someone told me that when someone dies, they no longer represent themselves, although they could be seen as wandering spirits and all. And the fact that only certain ppl could see them bewilders me.

kwchang
07-04-2006, 12:38 PM
Err...Mon dear:)....they should take upon themselves to at least realise that...there are more people suffering with worst fates n in more desperations than what they are experiencing at the time......it's only appropriate...he or she could also be termed as stupid...for even NOT knowing or thinking of any easier methods of dying an almost painless n certain death...
If in case anyone of you gets the chance to confront a potential suicide candidate, you should not even assume that the person is capable of normal reasoning. These people are highly likely to be in a critical state of DEPRESSION. That is a mental condition which requires treatment by professionals. If you have never met someone in that state of mind, you will never understand how they perceive the world around them. I tell you, it is no simple matter to make fun of suicide candidates. They can be very frightening.

orchipalar
07-04-2006, 12:43 PM
Err...dear Chang:)...you are the only person there...next to a suicidal person... standing at the edge of a tall building...the person is telling you that he or she is diagnosed with cancer...the love ones just ran off with the lover...leaving the person with a broken heart n hugely indebted after taking huge amount of loans from Ah Long...thus the person has no other alternative but to commit suicide...

Ahem...at the heat of the moment...should that happens...who do we call...???

"Err hello...u wait ar...let Orchi TRY to call the expert first...to deal with you...OK!!!"

Jose Mourinho
07-04-2006, 12:53 PM
If in case anyone of you gets the chance to confront a potential suicide candidate, you should not even assume that the person is capable of normal reasoning. These people are highly likely to be in a critical state of DEPRESSION. That is a mental condition which requires treatment by professionals. If you have never met someone in that state of mind, you will never understand how they perceive the world around them. I tell you, it is no simple matter to make fun of suicide candidates. They can be very frightening.

Kwchang. You are absolutely right. Many people tend to make generalised statements about suicides and they really do not know what they are talking about but just speculate with a bit of their pseudo wisdom. You know what it takes. Thank you for your comment. Really appreciated it.


Err...dear Chang...you are the only person there...next to a suicidal person... standing at the edge of a tall building...at the heat of the moment...should that happens...who do we call...??? "Err hello...u wait ar...let Orchi TRY to call the expert first...to deal with you...OK!!!"

Orchipalar. How often do you personally come across such a situation? And even if you do and you are within distance, grab the person or if you choose not to, call the police and leave it to the experts to help. The man or woman going to jump from the edge of a tall building has the responsibility of his/her own life. Not you. If we start to create descriptive incidents (granted as per our earlier discussion, your fictional incidents may be real life), then we are moving into the realm of Final Destination movies again.

Of course, you are entitled to your view and let's leave it at we agree to disagree and all that.

:)

orchipalar
07-04-2006, 01:01 PM
Err...say no more...lets just say you be that person...in Orchi's earlier example...ahem...what would you want Orchi to do...???

Jose Mourinho
07-04-2006, 01:02 PM
Err...say no more...lets just say you be that person...in Orchi's earlier example...ahem...what would you want Orchi to do...???

I want you to leave me alone and let me jump.

Firefly
07-04-2006, 01:18 PM
I want you to leave me alone and let me jump.

Go ahead...I dare you to take the leap!!!! :cool: kakakakaka Evil Laughter!!!! kakakakaka

Jose Mourinho
07-04-2006, 01:20 PM
Go ahead...I dare you to take the leap!!!! :cool:

When I am in a state of depression and I want to take my own life, I would want people to leave me alone and let me jump. So exactly from which angle do you come from? I am confused.

Firefly
07-04-2006, 01:23 PM
Like firefly said earlier...go ahead JUMP, Want me to help? Why stand there and talk, unless you are CHICKEN!!!! :kakakakaka: Make my Day!!!! JUMP!!!! evil laughter!!!!!!

mon
07-04-2006, 01:23 PM
Go ahead...I dare you to take the leap!!!! :cool: kakakakaka Evil Laughter!!!! kakakakaka

Oh. I'm convinced Jose would take the leap if he said he would. You mark my words. From which angle would you like to see him jump to be more precise..?
:p

Firefly
07-04-2006, 01:25 PM
Oh. I'm convinced Jose would take the leap if he said he would. You mark my words. From which angle would you like to see him jump to be more precise..?
:p

Jose!!!, he only jumb back.

Jose Mourinho
07-04-2006, 01:25 PM
Like firefly said earlier...go ahead JUMP, Want me to help? Why stand there and talk, unless you are CHICKEN!!!! :kakakakaka: Make my Day!!!! JUMP!!!! evil laughter!!!!!!

You think suicide is a joke? This was a serious topic actually. In case you have misinterpreted the topic and tone completely. Or pehaps you wanted to post in the Cupid thread and posted here by mistake?

:o

Firefly
07-04-2006, 01:29 PM
ok soli. But sometimes asking the person to rethink may actually stop the person from Jumping.

Jose Mourinho
07-04-2006, 01:31 PM
Apologies accepted. Let's all not do a great injustice to the many people out there who are living on the blink of total despair. Thank you.

:)

leewinnie46
07-04-2006, 02:41 PM
depression would take a life of a person - i have someone who think she gave every best thing to the family just to find out husband got affair outside, she once step on the top of condominium and never realise.

another friend find meaningless when wife doesn't even bother about his feeling, he come back from work with two activity, watch tv and go internet. when wife ask if he love her everyday, he can't answer, slowly the wife get mad and draw him to number of meaningless night to fought on everything, digging the crop from grave and argue, at once he told, my financial is sufficient for you and kids for the rest of the life, he decide to suicide.

for someone to conclude too early, you may never be in the same shoes before, you may think the party who spoke to you is always right until you know two ppl by person

Firefly
08-04-2006, 10:41 AM
Communications or the lack of it seems to be the cause of it.

Some people who may seem happy and jolly on the outside maybe troubled inside. How sad that these people are incapable of sharing their troubles from their loved ones. Then again, it's the close/love ones cannot accept that this person needs help. Many fallouts in relationships and marriages is also due to the problem of communications (lack of it). :( How sad.

Jose Mourinho
08-04-2006, 10:47 AM
Communication, miscommuniation or lack of communication are some of the most over-rated words to explain failures. There must be something more than that.

Firefly
08-04-2006, 10:48 AM
Yes...self (fish)

Jose Mourinho
08-04-2006, 10:48 AM
Yes...self (fish)

More than that......

:)

patrick
08-04-2006, 11:59 PM
Communication, miscommuniation or lack of communication are some of the most over-rated words to explain failures. There must be something more than that.

Jose, Firefly is quite correct from my experience. Communication IS very often THE problem. Or rather the lack of it. It is sad but a fact. Such simple skill often with the grasps of most people, yet most often taken for granted. Of course, you are also right in that after this problem, other issues also come into play to exacerbate the problem.

Jose Mourinho
09-04-2006, 10:52 AM
Patrick. Please allow me to explain my mistrust of communication and especially communication between two humans or a group of humans.

Communication is at best, flawed, because it depends on the medium of communication as well as the source of origin and 'end person' who receives the information. Perfection in usage of language is unimportant because language is not a slave to reason. On the contrary, making representations from what are actually being said, even though there is no final reality and any attempt at being factual can only succeed at being representational. Perfection in usage of language is unimportant because language is not a slave to reason.

On the contrary, making representations from what are actually being said, even though there is no final reality and any attempt at being factual can only succeed at being representational. I once met a brilliant professor, Dr Martin Parker and he has this to say: "The author has always been dead despite the fact that many do not recognize it, and I can no more control the meanings of this text than I can control what you think." Different people construct different realities about their beings because stories are not real life but reconstructed representations of communicators' experiences.

My point thus is that the person you are trying to communicate with your realities already has formed his own realities.

mon
09-04-2006, 04:29 PM
On the contrary, making representations from what are actually being said, even though there is no final reality and any attempt at being factual can only succeed at being representational. Perfection in usage of language is unimportant because language is not a slave to reason.

On the contrary, making representations from what are actually being said, even though there is no final reality and any attempt at being factual can only succeed at being representational.
My point thus is that the person you are trying to communicate with your realities already has formed his own realities.

On the contrary, even suicidal people have a mind of their own..unlike some, who have so much zest in life but totally no mind of their own.

Jose Mourinho
09-04-2006, 05:03 PM
On the contrary, even suicidal people have a mind of their own..unlike some, who have so much zest in life but totally no mind of their own.

Absolutely, Mon.

leewinnie46
09-04-2006, 07:06 PM
I don't know much about what is what, who is who, I only know I wanted to be able to control my life

Jose Mourinho
10-04-2006, 09:57 AM
I don't know much about what is what, who is who, I only know I wanted to be able to control my life

Leewinnie, you are absolutely right. And it means we do not let others control our lives. Apart from your loved ones, the rest of humanity is non-consequential. They just happen to exist - you know, the morons, imbeciles and impotent. If we allow our existence to be dependent on such people's approval on how we should live our lives, then we might as well don't live at all.

:)

leewinnie46
10-04-2006, 10:29 AM
bravo, bravo, i like the philisophy of life...... i will mark it and frame it..........

mon
10-04-2006, 12:13 PM
Patrick. Please allow me to explain my mistrust of communication and especially communication between two humans or a group of humans.

Communication is at best, flawed, because it depends on the medium of communication as well as the source of origin and 'end person' who receives the information. Perfection in usage of language is unimportant because language is not a slave to reason. On the contrary, making representations from what are actually being said, even though there is no final reality and any attempt at being factual can only succeed at being representational. Perfection in usage of language is unimportant because language is not a slave to reason.

On the contrary, making representations from what are actually being said, even though there is no final reality and any attempt at being factual can only succeed at being representational. I once met a brilliant professor, Dr Martin Parker and he has this to say: "The author has always been dead despite the fact that many do not recognize it, and I can no more control the meanings of this text than I can control what you think." Different people construct different realities about their beings because stories are not real life but reconstructed representations of communicators' experiences.

My point thus is that the person you are trying to communicate with your realities already has formed his own realities.

Winnie. Gonna frame some of Jose's posts up? Frame this. This is one of the most profound thoughts from him. IMHO. It may be reasoned to some or it may not be. It's the simplicity and sincerity in it.

JackRyan1975
10-04-2006, 12:15 PM
Winnie. Gonna frame some of Jose's posts up? Frame this. This is one of the most profound thoughts from him. IMHO. It may be reasoned to some or it may not be. It's the simplicity and sincerity in it.

That's why almost everyone is heckling him to join in the sanctioned meets to hear it from his own mouth. :D

Jose Mourinho
10-04-2006, 12:19 PM
That's why almost everyone is heckling him to join in the sanctioned meets to hear it from his own mouth. :D

Jack. Personally, I prefer unsanctioned meets.

JackRyan1975
10-04-2006, 12:21 PM
Jack. Personally, I prefer unsanctioned meets.

You're not allowed to say that here. :eek:

Jose Mourinho
10-04-2006, 12:22 PM
You're not allowed to say that here. :eek:

Okay. Okay. Velly Solly. So I just have to secretly arrange on my own la. Sssshhh. Not a word, Jack.

JackRyan1975
10-04-2006, 12:25 PM
Okay. Okay. Velly Solly. So I just have to secretly arrange on my own la. Sssshhh. Not a word, Jack.

I hear any more word on that, I will report you man. :D

p.s.: I love secrecy too.

Jose Mourinho
10-04-2006, 12:28 PM
I hear any more word on that, I will report you man. :D

Report to who ar? You mean I am not allowed to ask anybody here out for lunch or dinner ar? Need to seek permission meh?

:confused:

JackRyan1975
10-04-2006, 12:31 PM
Report to who ar? You mean I am not allowed to ask anybody here out for lunch or dinner ar? Need to seek permission meh?

No la...no need lor. No hard and fast rule. If you want to be in the good books of any person, report to that particular person lor. Not only report, must first sing praises first. Hehe.

Jose Mourinho
10-04-2006, 12:34 PM
Winnie. Gonna frame some of Jose's posts up? Frame this. This is one of the most profound thoughts from him. IMHO. It may be reasoned to some or it may not be. It's the simplicity and sincerity in it.

Mon. Thank you. But I still think the princess and rabbit story is more profound ar... or the ones about Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightley but of course, certain things cannot be said in this forum ar because some people would get very mad ar because nobody else must be happy because they are miserable ar.

Jose Mourinho
10-04-2006, 12:36 PM
No la...no need lor. No hard and fast rule. If you want to be in the good books of any person, report to that particular person lor. Not only report, must first sing praises first. Hehe.

You sure or not? Talk about Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightley already cannot already. Talk about a princess on the moon also cannot. So how can? How can permission would be given to allow me to ask somebody out?

mon
10-04-2006, 12:39 PM
Mon. Thank you. But I still think the princess and rabbit story is more profound ar... or the ones about Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightley but of course, certain things cannot be said in this forum ar because some people would get very mad ar because nobody else must be happy because they are miserable ar.

No la. Don't agree. The other posts in the princess and rabbit thread were more profound la. Yours was nowhere close to theirs la. Eat your heart out la Jose.

JackRyan1975
10-04-2006, 12:40 PM
You sure or not? Talk about Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightley already cannot already. Talk about a princess on the moon also cannot. So how can? How can permission would be given to allow me to ask somebody out?

Haiya....I nono why they all find you so interectual. I oredi say liao that you no wan take permission oso can, just do so quietly lar....aiya! No permission no permission lar...your life ma. You live for peoper or live for yourslef ner?

Hehe.

mon
10-04-2006, 12:42 PM
Haiya....I nono why they all find you so interectual. I oredi say liao that you no wan take permission oso can, just do so quietly lar....aiya! No permission no permission lar...your life ma. You live for peoper or live for yourslef ner?

Hehe.

Aiyo. Somefink long with your tonggue ar? Jack.
:D

JackRyan1975
10-04-2006, 12:43 PM
Aiyo. Somefink long with your tonggue ar? Jack.
:D

Tis pesky cicka tail lar....stuck in my caovity....cannot pull out ler....

Jose Mourinho
10-04-2006, 12:43 PM
Haiya....I nono why they all find you so interectual. I oredi say liao that you no wan take permission oso can, just do so quietly lar....aiya! No permission no permission lar...your life ma. You live for peoper or live for yourslef ner?

Okay. Okay. Wish me luck. I am pm-ing the person now....

JackRyan1975
10-04-2006, 12:45 PM
Okay. Okay. Wish me luck. I am pm-ing the person now....

Good luck. All the best. May the soul of the dead cicaks be with you.

Firefly
11-04-2006, 11:18 AM
Okay. Okay. Wish me luck. I am pm-ing the person now....

Firefly = busybody...well? how did it go? :confused:

Jose Mourinho
11-04-2006, 12:22 PM
Firefly = busybody...well? how did it go? :confused:

Ah. I am a gentleman. I don't kiss and tell.

:)

Firefly
12-04-2006, 08:30 AM
awe...so bad...:(

orchipalar
12-04-2006, 09:19 AM
Please allow me to explain my mistrust of communication and especially communication between two humans or a group of humans...Different people construct different realities about their beings because stories are not real life but reconstructed representations of communicators' experiences.
http://219.93.184.38/bulletin/upload/showpost.php?p=126963&postcount=211


And it means we do not let others control our lives. Apart from your loved ones the rest of humanity is non-consequential. They just happen to exist - you know, the morons, imbeciles and impotent. If we allow our existence to be dependent on such people's approval on how we should live our lives, then we might as well don't live at all.
http://219.93.184.38/bulletin/upload/showpost.php?p=127253&postcount=215

Err...so suddenly the likes of casual friends...neighbours...your teachers...students...forumers n etc etc. in your life...are branded as nothing more than morons...imbeciles and impotent...to you.

n ahem...since this(lately hijacked n bastardized thread) has been about the right or wrong of suicidal attempts...despite your earlier emphasis on the importance of handling sensitive matters adequately which might relate to a person's suicidal attempts...you have just told them to give up all hopes of finding advice n solutions to his/her desperations...n go to end his/her life instead...

Err...brilliantly written nonetheless...

lilifjp
12-04-2006, 09:25 AM
Hello everyone.

Have you had any experience that Love hurts so much until you stalk a person ? My cousin now is having a problem. The girl is 23 years old and pretty. But so obsessed with my cousin, she threaten suicide if he don't 'layan' her. Now that girl is practically, stalking my cousin. Calling him every 20 minutes until he has to change his hp #, a few times. Even calling him at his office to check on him. How ?

Firefly
12-04-2006, 09:29 AM
This is bad...first of, Have yr Cousin done anything that he should take responsibility for?

As mentiones by Jose before, these people are not in their proper frame of mind and is beyond reasoning, so beware.

lilifjp
12-04-2006, 10:49 AM
Hmmm.....

We already guess she has personality conflicts from the 1st time I met her. She looks very cold and no feelings type. But I guess all guys falls for pretty & young girls. :)

Both families agree that they should get married by this year.

But since then, this girl is so possessive. She wants to know where my cousin is all the time. Do not allow him to meet up with other friends etc. Tried to control everything.

She is also very manja type. She needs to talk to someone all the time. Otherwise, she feels insecure. That's why she has been bugging all of us. I can receive her stupids calls early in the mornings ( 7 am). Lots of time, I receive her calls in the middle of my meetings. Sigh......

Firefly
12-04-2006, 11:08 AM
Insecurity. Dr Jose...how to solve this? Perhaps her circle of friends are not large enough. maybe introducing her to a larger circle of friends and hopefully anothe person may take a liking to her. but then, if still won't solve her problem. :(

blackgammon
12-04-2006, 12:16 PM
Her parents' know about this?

Firefly
12-04-2006, 12:23 PM
blackgammon, you married? What would you do if you are the parent?

Nic_of_Time
12-04-2006, 12:48 PM
And it means we do not let others control our lives. Apart from your loved ones the rest of humanity is non-consequential. They just happen to exist - you know, the morons, imbeciles and impotent. If we allow our existence to be dependent on such people's approval on how we should live our lives, then we might as well don't live at all.
http://219.93.184.38/bulletin/uploa...3&postcount=215

Jose, you appear to be steering others towards the path of a psychopath (http://www.crisiscounseling.com/Articles/Psychopath.htm) with that very cold statement. Without adding more explanations, such statements by itself can be dangerous. Heh.. that real Chelsea Jose is really a son of a bitch, an ego maniac and a sore loser, hope u are not following him.

The Buddha stated that man [human] should be a master of his own destiny but at the same time express the highest level of empathy for his fellow mankind. He came out with ways to show mankind how to achieve it. (Btw, I am not religious but i like and adopts Buddha's wisdom).

Jesus said, love your enemies (http://www.jesuswalk.com/lessons/6_27-36.htm). presumably including the morons and imbeciles.

lilifjp
12-04-2006, 12:52 PM
Hi Blackgammon & Firefly,
We are a very conservative family. We normally advise/request to get married after going out for a few months. No point dragging things or live-in for years.

Yes. Her parents seems not keen for them to get married since the girl is only 23 years old. But they agreed that this couple should be planning for marriage. At least it gives them time to save money.

But now, the girl seems to be very sticky. I thought this only happens to teenagers. If a teenager girl have a bf, the bf cannot even take a look at other girls :(

My cousin is in the IT line. IT people are always busy. It is normal to be stuck for many hours in the office. Most young people works more than 8 hours a day whether they are in IT, audit, banks etc.

Sounds like Fatal Attraction. :(

Firefly
12-04-2006, 01:03 PM
What is the gal doing, Is she working yet?

DarReNz
12-04-2006, 01:13 PM
Hello everyone.

Have you had any experience that Love hurts so much until you stalk a person ? My cousin now is having a problem. The girl is 23 years old and pretty. But so obsessed with my cousin, she threaten suicide if he don't 'layan' her. Now that girl is practically, stalking my cousin. Calling him every 20 minutes until he has to change his hp #, a few times. Even calling him at his office to check on him. How ?


hi lilifjp,

I can relate to this. My ex-gf used to be so possessive and keep on calling me like there is no tomorrow office included, she is 23 and pretty but she always threaten and lie to me. She also tried to commit suicide but i dismiss it and finally found out she actually ate all the pills so i send her to the hospital the next day ..... really bad experience .... hope to never get it again ......

Firefly
12-04-2006, 01:19 PM
How did you manage to let her go?

lilifjp
12-04-2006, 01:32 PM
Dear DaRenz,

I sincerely hope we are not talking about the same girl........ :confused:

Ya, I have to take 1/2 day leave, everytime she threaten to jump from the apartment or take some pills.....

I am actually quite tired of all this. I think a few members of my family feels the same way and wants to stay away.

FYI only, my cousin is not staying in the same apartment with her.
She is having a full time job.

I have a good friend that married a young girl, 20 years his junior. He said that all young girls behave this way. After marriage, the girl stop behaving so possesively. He is 46 years old.

How did you managed to get rid of your ex ?

blackgammon
12-04-2006, 01:48 PM
maybe both parents should sit down and discuss about this problem?
And if the relationship really doesn't work out anymore, perhaps they could work together to 'stop it'?

La Vida Loca
12-04-2006, 02:45 PM
The Buddha stated that man [human] should be a master of his own destiny but at the same time express the highest level of empathy for his fellow mankind. He came out with ways to show mankind how to achieve it. (Btw, I am not religious but i like and adopts Buddha's wisdom).

I like you Nic (and this is not from a psychotic angle). We should have more empathy for our fellow humankind. We are one with the universe. For those ego and arrogant few, the world surprising does not revolve around you. Anything you do, say or think creates an effect, good or bad.

Lilifjp, I have long suspect this but women who are sticky, insecured and possessive DO marry earlier in life. Damsel, beautiful as they are, are so alluring to the men. You just want to protect them, shelter them, be the Knight in shining armor. :rolleyes:

I'm 26, so I'm all lost as to what you mean by all girls act this way. If its a strategy that involves getting men to marry us and showering our parents with a big dowry....then ladies....WAY TO GO!!! ha ha just joking.

PG26 - Pls be advised that parental guidance is needed if the girl (even if she's old enough to vote) shows sign of suicidal inclination.